please help - brain tumor / seizure worry !

[Andromeda]

hi everyone ! :weep:


here i am again , giving in to my worries !

i've managed to leave my house today and go back to my student accomm for tonight (which i can tell you has really taken it's toll on my emotions)

being away from my family and the comfort of being constantly surrounded for almost 2 weeks is awful .

BUT i've done it . AND i went out to a bar tonight with some of my uni friends . okay it was absolute hell , and i spent the whole time checking my pulse and second guessing every feeling in my body , felt like i was going to pass out umpteen times BUT AGAIN i did it .

considering last week i couldn't leave the house i'm going to try and focus on the fact that this is a step in the right direction.

Now to the aftermath , i'm here in my room alone with my thoughts and unable to control them !

i can't shake this brain tumor scare ! or i feel like i'm building up to a seizure ???!?!??!!?

my right eye just doesn't feel normal , there is constant pressure in the right side of my head and my right ear feels like not blocked as such but more like a pressure too , my legs feel so week

and when i'm sitting down or standing or even lying down i get this horrible sensation that i'm either falling forwards or sometimes backwards !

i keep checking my pupils to see if they are okay , i'm obsessed :weep:

THIS CONSTANT DIZZINESS AND DEREALIZATION IS RUINING MY LIFE

someone help me reason before i drive myself crazy !

ALSO , if i was seriously ill , my symptoms wouldn't come and go would they ? if you were seriously ill you would be ill fullstop , and you would get progressively worse ?

URGH why me :weep:

[Gazman]

Just anxiety, relax, a brain tumour wouldn't cause all those symptoms you describe, what you are describing is anxiety = pure and simple.

And you are correct - if you were seriously ill, it would not come and go but would be there constantly.

Be strong, you sound like you've done extremely well and don't push yourself too hard, well done.

[Andromeda]

thank you gazman
i'm trying my best to relax but i've never been able to , even before i developed anxiety :weep:

[SleeplessFog]

Good job on leaving the house....you are working it out....:yesyes:

As Gazman said, you are correct...if you were really ill it wouldn't come and go.

[Andromeda]

thank you for the encouragement but i'm so scared that something bad is going to happen now i'm alone , i can't shake this feeling :wacko:

i'm so scared

[SleeplessFog]

Please don't be scared...I know it sucks when you feel this way and there is no one around...I go through bouts of that myself. :hugs:Its just the panic and anxiety trying to mess with us. Can any of your friends come by?

[Andromeda]

its 2am here , i don't want to disturb anyone :weep:

i know in my heart that it's just my anxiety showing it's ugly head but it's so hard to tell yourself that when your mind is telling you 'what if it's not anxiety'

[SleeplessFog]

That is so true..it is hard when your body is trying to convince you otherwise. When I am alone I listen to music and make myself sing it...well not out loud (I am a terrible singer). I also go through affirmations....anything to distract myself.

[MissJennayee]

Hiya, my cousin actually did have terminal brain cancer and died a few years ago and I can tell you NONE of your symptoms point to a tumor. When he was diagnosed he had already had dramatic weight loss ( meaning, around 30 pounds in 2 months ), vomiting every morning without even being nauseous, awful coordination - he couldn't walk without having to hold on to someone or something like a wall, etc., and finally he had a bad seizure, and no - he could not feel it "building up". He was terribly sick, and I honestly don't know why he wasn't diagnosed earlier. It was sad to watch, but believe me.. he didn't just "think" he was sick and had vague symptoms here and there - they were constant. He was dying.
You don't have a brain tumor hun. You have anxiety, just take it for what it is. Lots of people on here are having all the same troubles as you and while it's annoying and a total drag, it's not deadly. You're a-okay :D