Breaking the cycle - mental illness worry

[superjonboy]

I have a fear that I might be or am becoming schizophrenic or bipolar.

I just feel very weird a lot of the time which most people call depersonalization/derealization. I get horrible feelings (physical) like my arms, face, hands are not real.

I dunno wether these are symptoms of anxiety ot physical hallucinations.

I never hear voices or see things. Not that I know anyway. I guess my wife or other family and friends would notice things like this if I were.

No medical person I have seen (GP's, occupational therapists, senior linical practitioner, consultant psychiatrist) have said anything other than anxiety health focus and a bit of depression bcause of this.

I just don't know how to break this cycle of worry I'm in. The feelings of unreality just fuel it further. Has anyone else had worries of schizophrenia/bipolar/psychosis and managed toovercome them?

Kind Regards,

John.

[Maj]

Hello John,

Many people here will have had the worry you have of whether you will go "over the edge". It's part of the anxiety/depression cycle. The very fact that you are worrying about it shows you that you are not. Sufferers of schizophrenia don't even realise that there's anything wrong with them, it's usually others who notice their odd behaviour and get them to seek help. Having bipolar is also an extreme, but my friend has it and has suffered with it most of her life. It didn't just come on when she was anxious. And she now has great treatment and is well. I think if you stop worrying about it and accept that it's part of your anxiety then you'll break the cycle and get some peace. It's when we are afraid that it torments us. When your anxiety calms down you'll be able to look at your fears in a different perspective and realise that no, you are not schizophrenic or bipolar. You are not alone, lots of us have been there, including me.
Myra:hugs:

[superjonboy]

Thanks Myra.

It's the unreal stuff you know. I've had it on and off for years but it still scares me silly.

I guess the hardest thing is finding how to face the fear. Like with social anxiety you can keep going and exposing yourself to crowds, with agrophobia yu can gradually expose yourself by going outside and building t up but I just don't know how to do this with schizophrenia/bipolar.

John.

[Maj]

Don't "do" anything with the mental illness fear. Comfort yourself in the fact that most people would be afraid of this. Your fear seems magnified because of your anxiety, that's all. You are no different from anyone else other than having high anxiety, which can be overcome, never forget this. Acceptance is the key to recovery. If you struggle and battle with your thoughts and feelings you will always be anxious. It you relax and accept then the symptoms will ease. Accept all the thoughts and feelings as normal at the moment because of your anxiety. Try to carry on with all your normal day to day things without struggling and through time you will get there.
Myra:hugs:

[superjonboy]

Thanks again Myra.

You're like the little Angel that pops up in cartoons giving the good advice.

Thank you
xxx

[Veronica H]

I was thinking the same thing myself about Myra just then john, as her posts are so reassuring :bighug1:A big hug to you both.

Veronica

[superjonboy]

I just read an article linking cannabis use to schizophrenia.

I smoked cannabis very regularly from 15 - 19. at one point pretty much every day. It says that people who consumed cannabis at age 18 are 600% more likely to get schizophrenia over the next 15 years.

I just think i'm destined to get it. My life is slowly slipping away from me and this just confirms it.

[Maj]

You are doing what we all do when anxious - everything you read and hear you think "I'll be next!". We are so suggestable when we are anxious. If you had schizophrenia you wouldn't be remotely worrying about it - you'd be in your own wee world, and we'd all be weird in your eyes!! This isn't the case. Many years ago I had a friend with schizophrenia and she never touched cannabis. If we went into the depths of any mental illness we'd find all sorts of things that "maybe" caused it. I'm not saying cannabis is good, but you no longer do it and should stop worrying about it now. It's in the past. You don't have schizophrenia, you have high anxiety and a phobia about mental illness. Try not to despair.
Myra:hugs:

[superjonboy]

I've just done a guitar lesson and I felt so weird again.

I'm sure I'm having physical hallucinations rather than symptoms of anxiety.

Also got a weird thing in my nose now. Feels like somone is prssing on the left side ofg the bridge of my nose. So my mind is going nuts and thinking some kind of tumor.

Im so ut of it.

John.

[Maj]

I honestly think you have a huge phobia about being psychotic and it's dominating your life at the moment. Being psychotic is the thing you seem to fear most, but you are not displaying symptoms of this - it sounds like symptoms of anxiety and a vivid imagination. Maybe the guitar lesson is a bit stressful for you are the moment? From the schizophrenia point of view, I believe that this actually starts in teenage years. So please try and comfort yourself in that you're too old for this (sorry!! lol). You have great guilt about the cannabis thing but don't live in the past. It has no place at the moment. Think about the future and how things can change for you. We've all done things we've regretted. Don't give this the importance it doesn't deserve. And the nose thing - we all get unique symptoms caused by anxiety, that there's never an explanation for and they come and go.
mYRA:hugs:

[superjonboy]

Had a really horrible experience at about 8.30ish.

Went so light and unreal it really felt like i was chaning somehow.

I guess the important thing is nothing happened but feels like it might be just around the corner

[Meewah]

I just read an article linking cannabis use to schizophrenia.

I smoked cannabis very regularly from 15 - 19. at one point pretty much every day. It says that people who consumed cannabis at age 18 are 600% more likely to get schizophrenia over the next 15 years.

I just think i'm destined to get it. My life is slowly slipping away from me and this just confirms it.

Mee too. I feel a lot of the population fit this category. I have this fear sometimes but then it goes. Trust me time is a great healer, over time you will prove to yourself that it has not happened and so is unlikely to happen. I stopped smaoking weed about 10 years ago but as I discovered my mortality and other stressors happened in my life this worry came to ahead. I do have a little smoke may be once a year now but feel totally paranoid and out of control so do not like it anymore.

You have to ask yourself if we did start with scizo what could you do? Not a lot I expect. We have no control over what will happen to us so live each day like its your last.

Have a look at this video and start living life again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc



Take Care

Mee

[superjonboy]

I woke up this morning feeling a bit hyper.

Do people who suffer from mania actually know they're manic? Like I wouldn't me sat worrying I was manic would I?

John

[fazman3000]

wow you sound just like me right now..

My actual panic 'attacks' have pretty much ceased and Ive been fine for ages but now i seem to be stuck in a goldfish bowl-like state 24/7. I gets to me sometimes but i think 'hey, you know what? I'm still breathing'. You've just got to ignore it - that said on its own is impossible; our minds don't work like that. If you carry on with your day regardless of how you feel then eventually you will completely forget your worries as your mind gradually re-trains itself.

Yea I'm sure psychotic people wake up hyper sometimes.. but so do chldren, animals, teenagers and adults. They don't lose the plot immediately though.

Whilst you are worrying about it then there is no dager of you developing any serious mental ilness.

Take it easy x

[superjonboy]

When people say that schizophrenics have little insight into their illess would this also mean things like they thought their disorganised speach and stuff was normal.

Like they would think other people were weird for not being able to understand them.

John.