Day - to - day

[njay]

Hi to every user of this fantatsic site,

Im sorry if i have posted this in the wrong place, I was just keen to find out how suffers of this "anxiety,panic..etc" go about their daily lives?, I mean as regard to their standard of life. I personal dont work because i had to give up my job due to my symptoms being constant and at times i just cant fuction let alone perform to a high standard in a job!, but some people look upon this as a cop out - and im looked at as just being lazy, which is far from the case, i would give anything to lead a "normal" life, e.g get up, go to work, come home , cook, go out and socialise, but but due to my body and head i cant really do that, so anyway i have to claim Job seekers allowance, as the DWP have dismissed my claim and believe i should be working, ( believe me id love to be) but as i said with me feeling as i do , i cant, so i spend my days doing very little with a peanuts amount of money to live on, this itself is increasing my stress levels and to be honest i feel like such a waste of space as i dont do anything but its not a case of not wanting too!!, im interested in how other people manage with not only this well.. illness i guess but the impact of it on their lives , for me it is my life, its destroyed it, sorry to ramble its hard to concerntrate so please forgive me for this post being a bit all over the place....

Thanks.

[emily51964]

it is hard. and i too suffer with anxiety alot, i ahv been taking medication and luckily for me it os helping, i think i caught it early.ish! it must be horrible for u not being able to work, i find sometimes work takes my mind of worrying, altho sometimes it makes me more stressed out coz i hate my job! anyway maybe u could try getting involved with a charity? it might sound silly but that way u could maybe work one or 2 days a week and it will give u a focus? i dont really know. i was so down a few months ago, after having anxiety nearly ruin my 21st bday i thought enuf is enuf and i cant carry on living like that. some days are fine nd others are just awful. but take each day as it comes and try to concentrate on doing something that makes u happy. never feel u are a waste of space. never.xxx

[njay]

Thankyou Emily for taking the time to reply your post was very helpful

[Jimpy]

Hi njay,

when my anxiety and panic struck me bad I had to leave work on sick for two months, each day was a battle, terrified of symptoms, afraid of so much with hardly any smiling going on, spent most of November thinking I was going to collapse and most of December worrying about going back to work anf what I was going to do with myself. It really was a dark time. Work was the first and last thing on my mind. The last because I simply could not comprehend working when simply existing was a challenge, and it was the first thing on my mind because I have dependants and needed to get something in place.

What I realized I'm the midst of all this turmoil was a simple but profoundly important fact. My confidence in nearly everything but mostly in myself had gone. I knew that I could not make decisions or take control of anything because I was living in fear of anxiety and panic and also in fear of what would happen if I could not findy
way back to myself. I as at a low ebb and to be honest, part of me hated me. I was feeling useless and empty and I lacked direction in everything. Anytime I felt like I was taking control of anything a symptom if anxiety would strike and I would be reduced to laying in bed logging onto the Internet looking for a distraction, all the while terrified it was getting worse.

Day to day living was was about the hardest thing I ever done at that time. My only plan or idea I had was to somehow gain in confidence, find my a way to strenthen myself against my self doubt. To gain confidence I knew I had to take small
steps, lots of them. My first steps where literally just that. Steps, I walked to the shop, sweaty palmed, tight chested and dizzy, did not beat myself up when I could only walk around and not actually buy anything but instead just relaxed once I got back home. These small steps lasted a couple of days, managed to understand my symptoms a little more, always carried some sweets to eat to take my mind off things.

I got to the point where I could go places ok, this was with another small but important step, I found a safe place, infact I found two. What I mean by a safe place was somewhere that I knew I could relax in, even if it tool a while to come down from anxiety. One was my bathroom and the other my bedroom. I found I could go places and worry, get anxious even have a panic attack but they where not so bad because I knew I had a safe place I could go and things would be ok. I know that sounds a little daft but it really helped me.

At this point I had cut out caffine and was eating more healthy, this positive step helped me gain some self belief. Honestly I can shovel terrible food into my system all week and taking charge of that made me much happier. The next small step and one of the most effective in gaining my confidence was a little bit of excercise. No way could I afford to go to the gym so I found a bike track near my home and started to jog. So slight at first only 100 steps, I was out of breath and my heart was pounding and it increased my anxiety a little at first, in fact it brought on a real panic. I say this not to put you off but to show that already I was a little stronger. I knew it because the next day I was out and did it again, now I cam run over a mile and feel much more in contol of things. I think it must burn off the adrenaline or something. But crucially it again helped build my belief in myself which in turn raised my condfidence a notch.

Other steps have been less physical and more psycological. I have bought a top book called Self help for your nerves. It is by Claire Weeks and is available through this site. It really was excellent and calming my anxiety, changingy perspective and gave me good solid practical advice on dealing with this dam illness. I also did not let my negative thoughts about myself take root, I had really bad days where I really shot myself down over everything but I was careful not to take it too heart. I knew I was making progress on the whole and just needed more time.

Small steps, took enough of them and now I am in a new job and feeling much much better. I am still not 100 percent but I am more like my old self then I could have even dreamed only 2 months ago. Please believe me when I say you can get through this. Day to day and small, I have found that once I was feeling nearly up to it I pushed and got a simple job, it has given me a focus and even though it can be tough on the anxiety front overall the good outweighs the bad. It is down to self belief for me, I know I ain't a bad person and have the confidence now to know that if I am down I will at least do my best to sort it out. I never knew that about myself before and it has helped me to get this job.

Honestly, good luck with it all!! Don't let it keep you down, relish the good days and if you have a bad day come on here
and let people know!!

Jim

[Acidomoduso]

Wow Jimpy... what an inspiration :yesyes:! Hopefully we can all learn something from your anecdote! Congratulations!

As for the OP... i cannot imagine my symptoms stopping me from working (It's now 3.12 but i will still go in tomorrow, tired or not) but my thoughts are with you. There will always be someone "worse off than you" - this applies to me and probably applies to you too. I hope Jimpy's story can help you and give you some support. :)

[njay]

Yes thank you Jimpy, a terrific post which forgive the pun " i will take heart from" , thank you all for taking the time to repond to my post