Hello, introducing myself

[watertheatre]

Hi

I have been on here before answered a few threads never properly introduced myself.My name is Claire I am 31 soon been suffering anxiety 4 a few years now.Things have been at a high before been on citralopran and come off it and stopped drinking 4 11 mnths 2008 started again april 2009 had things under control butrecently my job role changed been applying 4new jobs relationship problams mainly my fault as my partner loves me so much and put up with alot from me i cannot accept how much he loves me though i know i love himbut recently cannot say I do love him as feel so fragile at minute. Sorry to rant on I feel I need to go backon anti - depressants don't want to as rather fight this without drugs but just want to do nothing on days off work not get dressed ect and days at work I am fighting trying to stay positive understanding co=workers my new manager doing her best. Looking for a new job when i feel like this I push family love ones away they aware of that. Waiting for C.B.T theropy any sugestions on how i can cope most appriciated. sorry 4 rant

regards

Watertheatre

[diane07]

Hi watertheatre

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[onceagain]

Hi Watertheatre

Just wanted to say that I do understand and I wish you well, speak to your GP... only I was told that I should remain on AD's until I start my CBT so that I was in the right frame of mind to start it and that as I was working with CBT that they would reduce my ADs.

I am currently taking none because of a stupid move I made and cannot afford prescription until pay day..arghhhh...

Whatever you choose to do hun, be kind to yourself ((hugs))

[watertheatre]

Thanks sharon

I looked back over old emails the other day and realised i had been off Ads for a year didn't take them for first 6 mnths as advised managed 3 as I am a stubborn person and feel I am ok and can push and fight this why do I need a pill a day to make me happy.I was better on them but felt not me I don't knw if was because I was t-total while on them but on plus side started tounderstand myself and sort myself out and get stronger with support co-workersas well. Dads been through a hell lot with me and said be on ads whilegoing through cbt as it may make things worse but better in the end as a friend of his been through it that I have known since a young girland said did wonders 4 her. I am still on nhs waiting list though.It helped you what am I letting myself in for want to do this but scared.

[onceagain]

Oh its true the ADs do make you go through wobbly moments and they did raise my anxiety levels until they got into my system... I eventually felt the benefits but it did take determination to go through the first long haul of getting them into my system.

I'm currently having counselling incorporating a small amount of CBT and to be honest cannot wait for the CBT sessions to start... I've heard nothing but fantastic reviews but it was explained to me.. as when I'm without them all my anxiety grows so fierce that it controls my thoughts ...all being negative, I get a thought and I let it fester .... alot of it from my childhood... with normal psyco therapy they work back trying to find the cause of it but that is supposed to be dreadful as you have to relive the things that cause you to hurt... but CBT apparently take the here and now find the thought process to anxiety, low self esteem, phobia or whatever you have and work to find ways to deal with them in a positive light...which would suit me ...

At the moment I work on the basis that if a negative thought comes in I try to eradicate it and focus on something else ...anything but apparently the CBT we can stop the avoidance and actually work with our thoughts making our fears less.

Believe me though right now I have to work sooo hard, each and every day is a massive struggle and I've hit all time lows for sure... but I like you am stubborn but don't do the same as me and end up driving yourself to illness if you are not coping then get help through the AD's I have now not had any ADs for over a week and whilst I am feeling less tired I am certainly realising how much they did help me...

All I can say is that you have to decide for yourself what is best for you...but don't be afraid of help... let that stubborness do what is right for you and think about what the future may hold it doesn't mean you have to suffer whilst you wait... without the AD's I think my anxieties will make me fight a little against the therapy... but with them I will be able to work through the thoughts without negatives standing in the way...

The very best to you keep us updated x ((hugs))

[watertheatre]

Hi

Thanks 4 the info. My dad used to do the destraction technique when I was younger he trys it now but I know hes doing it. The past few days going alot better I am being more positive and motivated.People at work have said I have been alot calmer these few days maybe positive thinking is helping. I need to stay srong and keep focuse on what I want then hopefully can stay in control.