What If thoughts

[madamgg]

Hi all
I'm currently going through an anxious phase and having awful 'what if' thoughts they scare me to death and i worry so much that i will act on them. i have a 5 month old daughter and i think all sorts of what if's about her and now about suicide...what if i did it. i have no desire to end my life at all i am very happy with a wonderful family. i feel like i'm being tortured. I'm trying to get through this particular episode without medication but i'm just wondering if i should start some, i've had 2 periods like this in the past and meds have been great.
i'm really scared off side effects of medication for the first couple of weeks but i guess then they work and i'm feeling better where as at the moment i feel so up and down. i just wish someone would tell me what to do!!!
if anyone has any experiences to share i'd be grateful...i just want to enjoy the life i have and be a good mum i really don't have anything to be anxious about and but that doesn't stop me feeling it.
Thank you x

[gypsywomen]

you musent even think of suicide ,yes i think you need to go to the docters as soon as poss ,,as for effects of tablets surley its better than feeling s you do becides some people ave very few ,, please plese go to docters for your and your family sake your baby needs you .love maggie

[Maj]

Hello,

Always remember the what if's are only thoughts, and thoughts can do no harm. They depend on your dislike of them to keep happening. There's no way you would carry them out and when we are anxious we think of the most grotesque thoughts possible!! If you try not to let the thoughts scare you then they will lose their power and calm down, but if I were you and had been greatly helped by meds in the past, then I'd maybe think about taking them again, just for a while, until you feel less anxious again. Sometimes we just need a crutch to keep us going and it's hard going looking after a wee one when you are feeling like this. You will get through this again. You are not alone, lots of us have been there.
Myra:hugs:

[cat2]

Hey madamg,
I've had these thoughts too. I was reading a few books about it and realised that there are just thoughts. We don't act on them. Usually these thoughts are there to distract you from something you don't want to deal with (like it was with me). It's also a bad habit that's all. Your brain has got used to thinking this way but you can change it!

Try the "what if" thoughts only in a positive way. What if I'll do my best and feel good about myself, what if I don't have to worry about these negative thoughts and get on with my life.. What if I could enjoy my life again :)

Every time I get "what if" thoughts, I don't fight them. I let them in until they lose their power and go. You can try using some humour as well. I know they aren't funny but it's just to make them seem less scary.

If you're interested I'll have a look for that book I was reading about obsessive thoughts.
You're not the only one!

All the best,
Cat

[darrenc]

These thoughts are terrible, I sometimes get them for no reason at all.

When I think about doing something bad, I can feel the adrenaline building up inside. We all need an andrenaline rush every now and again, and I wonder if this is my way of getting this. For example, I never used to have these thoughts when I was fit and active.

[madamgg]

hello
thanks so much everyone for responding, what you all say makes sense.

I really think trying to see the humour in them is a good idea, some of the thoughts i have are so ridiculous and i do know on some level i would never act on them.

Cat - i would be very interested in the book you read if you could pass that on?

Thanks
Jane xx

[Horse]

You have my deepest sympathy. My life has been ruled (and ruined) by the 'what if' syndrome. I'm sick of not doing what I want because I always think 'what if this happens or what if that happens.' Needless to say.......nothing has ever bloody happened! This has affected my choice of career, my marriage and my everyday life. Basically with me it's linked to health anxiety in as much as I don't go very far incase I'm ill whilst out. Therefor, I am in a sense a prisoner of my own doing. Just as luck would have it, I'm a hyperchondriac as well (aren't we all) so I'm usually ill even before I think 'what if'! I think the 'what if' thought probably comes under the obssessional or compulsive thought heading and is quite normal for an anx sufferer.

[cat2]

Hey,
Sure :) The book is called: Overcoming obsessive thoughts- Christine Purdon, ph.D, David A. clarck.

You learn to Identify and manage your ritualistic and intrusive thoughts and overcome your fear of unwanted thoughts.
You have 10 exercises in the book I think, and it gives you so much information about this problem.

I think with me, humour has helped a lot. I used to think, what if I try to kill my husband? I would never do it but it was just a thought. It made me so bad until I decided to challenge it so the next time I had that thought I imagined myself hugging him to death and stuff like that :) I know it sounds silly, but it helped me to accept these thoughts and know I would never act on them. I hardly have these thoughts now..
Hope that helps!
Cat

[beckssss]

Hiya madamgg,

I posted a message almost identical to yours earlier in the week. I have had many of this nasty nasty thoughts. the thought bothering me at the moment is the ...what if all these thoughts drive me to suicide. it scares the living hell out of me, but im guessing that if I really wanted to do that then I wouldnt be fearing suicide I would be taking comfort in it??? But yep I have overcome other thoughts. Maybe a little period of time on meds could be helpful, just till you gain a little more strength. This has been a terrible week for me also so I know how exhausting it can be...arghhh damn anxiety x

[madamgg]

Hi Cat
THanks so much have ordered this book from Amazon.
I'm trying to use humour...in fact i woke up this morning thinking just because i have all these thoughts doesn't mean i'll act on them as i think about loosing weight all the time but i never act on that!!!! it made me chuckle and god knows i think you need a sense of humour when you have anxiety...
Thanks
Janex

[madamgg]

Thanks Beckss
it's so strange as i think why the hell am i thinking of suicide and exactly the same as you will i somehow be driven to it, but i know i never would as i don't even remotely want to i guess having thoughts about suicide and feeling suicidal are two different things
and yes it is so very very exhausting having these constant internal arguments with yourself!

[cat2]

lol nice one :) As the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine!
It's just as strong as fear only in a positive way! Also when you laugh you break the tension in your body and feel better.
I know it's not easy to do it, but I find myself in horrible scary situations (in my head), thinking about something funny and it helps. :)
Thoughts.. just thoughts..
:)

[Maj]

Cat that sounds really good advice about keeping the humour. I think it definitely helps with the thoughts. That's why people let them stress them so much because they take the thoughts so seriously and are terrified of them. Yes, laugh at just how ridiculous the thoughts can be because that's what the are, stupid silly thoughts.
Myra:hugs:

[cat2]

That's right, we must be so creative to let our imagination scare ourselves to death! So if we can do that surely we can use our imagination to make ourselves laugh and succeed!
It all depends on what we chose to focus on.
Cat :)