Constantly over-analysing everything and such low self-esteem

[anxiousd]

I have been in my current relationship for 4 months. I am a gay guy, 31, and have low self-esteem. I also suffer from generalised anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. On good days, I am fairly happy but on bad days (lack of sleep or hungover etc.) I start thinking inward about everything.

My partner is 28 and he has been in many long-term relationships - mine have never really lasted that long. I told him I can be insecure sometimes and the way he sometimes treats me I find unfair. This weekend he told me he was too ill to come over, which upset as we usually see each other at weekends only. I found out he went to work on the saturday and then to his ex-boyfriends to pick up an item of furniture.

I confronted him and he said he was sorry but that I was over-reacting. I asked if he was coming round as he felt better. He said he was too tired.
I told him how that made me feel and he couldn't see why.

I know I am over-analytical and dependent on this relationship working out. I love him lots and possibly im infatuated with the idea of loving him too.

I wonder if anyone else feels like I do? How do I stop these thoughts and feelings ruining my relationship? Is there anyone else who has limited experience?

I feel like Im going mad and am not sure I am connecting with him even though I do have strong feelings. HELP!

Thanks

[Anxious_gal]

Well as woman (bisexual if you want to know)
It seems to me that your man needs some space.
Personally and from ready too many books, if you get too clingy with a man, it can make him run away from you, not towards you.
No he shouldn't have lied, he could have wanted some space and didn't want to hurt your feelings or he was up to no good.
a lot of men say "your overreacting" when they get into trouble!

A lot of people will disagree with me here, But I will go through a boyfriends text messages. why? because thats when i feel something is not right, I have often found out the boyfriend was cheating or up to no good through his text messages.
The one time I didn't snoop, it turned out I could have saved my self from months of being lied to.
But it's totally up to you, just sharing my personal experience with you.

Back up a little, show him that you chose to be with him, that you do not need to be with him.
I mean do it in a nice way, don't call as much or wait for him to call or text first.
Maybe go out some weekend with out him.
keep doing the things you enjoyed before you met him.
A little non contact can make him come your way.