Back to work on thurs after 4 months scared er just a bit...need cheering up

[carter]

hi all,

its been a horrible 4 months but in finally im not too bad and im trying my best to get out and about...but some days i get really down felling like crap all the dam time....

im pleased to say after trying various meds....which made me worse... im now drug free..

tryed group cbt to be honest it was not for me badly organised and felt like school....didnt see the point...to stick with it to be fair...and i was pretty disapointed with the whole thing....

im currently having counciling which to be honest ive found really good to vent......my frustratons cause for me doing things has never been a problem to do things and i used big socialite so this is killing me at the min the things i love to do i can't......i feel like my world has ended...

sorry for the rant well im going to try going back to work on a fased basis doing 4 hours a week and im scared...why i have no bloody idea...my boss came to visit to discuss and i was really nervous why i have no idea... did it anyway .....

i seem to think that people can notice im on edge but they cant i know this but it does not stop me feeling nervous.....i dont drink any more no caffine even chocolate, ive even stopped looking for a cure cause lets be honest the best cure is to crack on and get on with it little by little...not too much but test yourself......and the more you do it the easier it is......

so i know all the theroy...but this does not stop me feeling like im about to be shot or somthing............i have the added strain on the fact that ive gotta go back as im not getting paid sick anymore...

im so scared....its unreal......help.....so frustrated

hopefully one day ill feel better .....ummmmmmhhhhhhhhhh

[Veronica H]

:bighug1:I feel for you Carter. It is not helping that you are being forced back to work before you feel ready but you seem to understand this illness now which helps. Sorry to hear that the CBT did not work out for you. Please try to think of your return to work not as a test, but as practice for you in accepting these feelings and realising that they cannot harm you. (I'm not saying this is easy). It is the fear of the way we are feeling which keeps the nerves sensitised.
If you have not yet read it,there is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a physician and scientist. She was a fellow sufferer (nominated for the nobel prize for medicine) and really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better.

Here is a link to her site;

http://www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/

Veronicax

[carter]

hi all,

been at work for almost two weeks now....

now this is going to sound wired right but im fine when i mean fine after my first day........my anxiety or horrible feelings or whatever you wanna call it, just stopped.....

dont get me wrong i get a few funny turns from time to time but 90% of the time im ok.

im taking it easy however getting back in the rat race you realise that rushing around, can lead to anxiety again.

the horrible thing now i now im worried that it going to come back....so when i get a funny turn its like the worst thing in the world.....

[AJS]

Hi Carter
I feel just like you - i'm on week 9 of citalopram, and on just about to start week 4 of a phased return to work, my first 2 weeks back at work were great - every day i was coming home thinking - wow i didn't even panic or want to run home - i even had a night out with my team mates (although no alcohol).

Now the panics seem to be creeping back on - i would say 80% of the time I am ok - than i get the churning/knot in my stomach (sense of dread) and the panic feelings start rising up again - i start to worry "is it all coming back and I will end up as bad as when it began?" - "i am going to be like this for the rest of my life?" - then i am able to remember that nothing bad will happen to me and tell myself what's the worst that can happen and it starts to calm down (and i usually take a beta blocker to ensure that my heart won't go on overdrive) - but you're right when those feelings start again - it is very scary.

I have stopped smoking, stopped caffine, alcohol, cut down on foods with msg - basically like you tried cutting out as many stimulants as possible.

I'm not sure whether i am slipping back into the rat race and the anxiety is creeping up or is it that the medication is no longer having as much affect - it's really hard to put a finger on it.
:)

[hopefulgyrl]

i still havent found the way to cope with work yet which is some of the reason why i'm jobless!