Horrible Incest Thoughts

[PrincessTia]

Today i woke up with my thoughts being alot stronger because of the nightmare i just had. I dreamt of my dad and me :unsure: this has been going on ever since i'd found out my friend's dads 'older men and younger girls' porn collection. Now i cant look at my dad and i have to avoid him. I'll go out when he comes over (mum and dad split) ive spoken to my doctor and i had counciling but it didnt help the thoughts go away. Ive tried everything but i feel dirty all the time now and im scared that im going to tell a friend or a family member for help. It makes me sick that i'd think of him in this way.. im ashamed and feel like a whore (probably not aloud to say that). But his birthday is coming up and im going to have to be around him and i dont want to look like im nothing to do with him in a corner somewhere.. :weep: Im just a horrible messed up girl. :weep:

[bottleblond]

Hi there

Did you say that you found your friends dads porn collection or your own dads porn collection?

Lisa

[BexieB]

Hi Tia

Remember that these thoughts are classic anxiety symptoms, our ill mind pushes us to think of the worst possible outcomes, resulting in what we see as depraved thoughts. I've had vile thoughts in heights of my anx, but they are only thoughts, they are in no way representitive of any type of reality. It's the classic 'what if' synareo and just the product of an anxious mind. You may get better advise on the OCD thread, as it does seem to be obsessive thinking.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

[Redrainbow]

Hi,
Don't feel guilty over your thoughts, it's not your fault these things pop into your head. I have nasty things pop into my head too. Try (as hard as it is) to think of other things when those thoughts go into your head. It's a fight, but don't let the thoughts control you. Nasty thoughts still get the better of me, (all the time) but i'm trying to fight them, Good luck Princesstia.

[PrincessTia]

Hi there

Did you say that you found your friends dads porn collection or your own dads porn collection?

Lisa




Its my friends dad's collection. :blush: At first i thought of me and him but then it elevated into worse stuff.

[PrincessTia]

Hi Tia

Remember that these thoughts are classic anxiety symptoms, our ill mind pushes us to think of the worst possible outcomes, resulting in what we see as depraved thoughts. I've had vile thoughts in heights of my anx, but they are only thoughts, they are in no way representitive of any type of reality. It's the classic 'what if' synareo and just the product of an anxious mind. You may get better advise on the OCD thread, as it does seem to be obsessive thinking.

Love and Hugs
Bexie


Good advice thankyou, im going to re post this on the OCD thread. Im new with Anxiety and things im not completley sure what it means.

[PrincessTia]

Hi,
Don't feel guilty over your thoughts, it's not your fault these things pop into your head. I have nasty things pop into my head too. Try (as hard as it is) to think of other things when those thoughts go into your head. It's a fight, but don't let the thoughts control you. Nasty thoughts still get the better of me, (all the time) but i'm trying to fight them, Good luck Princesstia.

My counciler said similar things as you but i cant get to grips with fighting them :(

[Redrainbow]

Yes people and my councillor have told me the same thing, but i just can't ever seem to get the better of the thoughts, but i'm trying, because as you know vicous thoughts can cause you hell.
My thoughts are not the same as yours but mine do also cause me pain (mentaly).

[Maj]

You must be feeling anxious and low, and it's when we feel like this that these thoughts can cling and our mind tries to see just how grotesque the thoughts can be!! It doesn't matter what you think as long as you do not do it fearfully. Never forget, they are only thoughts. They can't do anyone any harm. Whenever the thought comes into your mind dismiss it by repeating something calming to yourself and don't let it bother you. It can be something like "cancel" or "stupid thought". When you stop being frightened they'll happen less and less. There are many sufferers of this symptom so please don't worry, you are not alone.
Myra:hugs:

[bgates87]

OK, first thing's first. Don't call yourself a "whore" or a "horrible messed up girl" anymore. You are a good person. You might think that I don't know that and I'm just trying to make you feel better, but that's not true. If you were really a horrible person you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be looking for help. You're suffering (in my non-professional opinion) from a sexual obsession. The key word here is suffering. These thoughts you are experiencing are the opposite of what you find sexually appealing, that is why they cause you inner conflict, anxiety, and stress.

If you want to recover and gain control of these irrational thoughts you first need to establish in your own mind that these thoughts are irrational. If you have any self-doubt and let yourself believe that these thoughts are true and represent how you really feel then you will be a slave to them. Sometimes it helps to think of these thoughts as something that comes from outside of you. Distance yourself from these thoughts. They aren't a part of you. They don't define you. They don't represent how you really feel.

Once you've established in your own mind that you are not a bad person and that these thoughts do not represent your true feelings you're on the road to recovery. There are many mental exercises you can use to dismiss these thoughts when they arise. Some have been mentioned in this thread, and you can find others online. Most of the time these exercises involve controlled, steady breathing combined with visualizing your thoughts floating away, dissolving, etc. Be careful though if you go looking for other forms of treatment for this problem that you don't try any kind of hypnosis or medical treatment without consulting a professional first.

Ok, wrapping up here. First, you're not a whore and you're not a horrible messed up girl. Second, in order to gain control over these thoughts you need to first establish in your own mind that they don't represent how you really feel. There's no room for self-doubt. Third, look into some mental exercises to help you dismiss these thoughts when they arise. Also keep in mind that this is all my non-professional opinion, if you feel like you need to seek professional advice don't let anything I say stop you. I have been suffering through a similar obsession recently and am just trying to share what has helped me regain control over my life.

[Redrainbow]

I think your very brave to tell people this thought, that took guts! But it's the only way to get rid of the demons i think. As i said before i have awful thoughts go through my head, but there only thoughts, but that does not mean they don't torment me so badly. I just wish bad thoughts could be taken out of the mind completely.

[PrincessTia]

OK, first thing's first. Don't call yourself a "whore" or a "horrible messed up girl" anymore. You are a good person. You might think that I don't know that and I'm just trying to make you feel better, but that's not true. If you were really a horrible person you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be looking for help. You're suffering (in my non-professional opinion) from a sexual obsession. The key word here is suffering. These thoughts you are experiencing are the opposite of what you find sexually appealing, that is why they cause you inner conflict, anxiety, and stress.

If you want to recover and gain control of these irrational thoughts you first need to establish in your own mind that these thoughts are irrational. If you have any self-doubt and let yourself believe that these thoughts are true and represent how you really feel then you will be a slave to them. Sometimes it helps to think of these thoughts as something that comes from outside of you. Distance yourself from these thoughts. They aren't a part of you. They don't define you. They don't represent how you really feel.

Once you've established in your own mind that you are not a bad person and that these thoughts do not represent your true feelings you're on the road to recovery. There are many mental exercises you can use to dismiss these thoughts when they arise. Some have been mentioned in this thread, and you can find others online. Most of the time these exercises involve controlled, steady breathing combined with visualizing your thoughts floating away, dissolving, etc. Be careful though if you go looking for other forms of treatment for this problem that you don't try any kind of hypnosis or medical treatment without consulting a professional first.

Ok, wrapping up here. First, you're not a whore and you're not a horrible messed up girl. Second, in order to gain control over these thoughts you need to first establish in your own mind that they don't represent how you really feel. There's no room for self-doubt. Third, look into some mental exercises to help you dismiss these thoughts when they arise. Also keep in mind that this is all my non-professional opinion, if you feel like you need to seek professional advice don't let anything I say stop you. I have been suffering through a similar obsession recently and am just trying to share what has helped me regain control over my life.





Thanks for you reply it really spoke to me and i think im going to save this information if i need it in the future, you really helped me today and changed my mind on alot of things. I never wanted these thoughts in the first place and its very awkward and uncomftable to get them. Espesurly around a family member. Oh thankyou so much! :hugs:

[PrincessTia]

Redrainbow, it was very hard to post it on here as this site is very new to me too. But i needed help and i definatly found it on this thread. :)

[riawads3]

Princess Tia thankyou so much for posting this thread! I have had simular extremely horrible thoughts as you have and there just so awful as I love my parents to bits and these thoughts take all the happiness away.
I know how much you are suffering but please know you are not the only one :)
riawads3xxx

[RLR]

If you don't mind, I'd like a little clarification please. Are you stating that you discovered pornographic material belonging to your friend's father and upon engaging in looking through the material, you now have unavoidable thoughts relating to you and your father being depicted in a sexual context which embarass and worry you?

Do I have that correct?

If so, then you need to realize that the brain at its most basic level generates a more pure sexual drive in the entire absence of the moral and social restrictions normally encountered in any societal group. Therefore, you need to understand that sexual arousal does not necessarily suggest that you would contemplate this type of interaction with your father. It is purely sexual arousal at the basic level.

You need to take a breath and relax. This has absolutely nothing to do with being a bad person. It's an extremely common manifestation and you should not feel as though you have no locus of control over an issue that is incapable of producing actual immoral contemplations.

Best regards,

Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)

[PrincessTia]

Princess Tia thankyou so much for posting this thread! I have had simular extremely horrible thoughts as you have and there just so awful as I love my parents to bits and these thoughts take all the happiness away.
I know how much you are suffering but please know you are not the only one :)
riawads3xxx



Riawads3xxx

Thats ok, if you ever need to mail me on here about this subject or even anything else or similar. Then please do.

[PrincessTia]

If you don't mind, I'd like a little clarification please. Are you stating that you discovered pornographic material belonging to your friend's father and upon engaging in looking through the material, you now have unavoidable thoughts relating to you and your father being depicted in a sexual context which embarass and worry you?

Do I have that correct?

If so, then you need to realize that the brain at its most basic level generates a more pure sexual drive in the entire absence of the moral and social restrictions normally encountered in any societal group. Therefore, you need to understand that sexual arousal does not necessarily suggest that you would contemplate this type of interaction with your father. It is purely sexual arousal at the basic level.

You need to take a breath and relax. This has absolutely nothing to do with being a bad person. It's an extremely common manifestation and you should not feel as though you have no locus of control over an issue that is incapable of producing actual immoral contemplations.

Best regards,

Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)


Actually, i may not of got it straight. Basically, my friends dad has pornography of older men and younger girls, in all different scenarios.. after i seen this it snowballed into all types of stuff into my mind, i started making it into fantasies with my boyfriend (who i'd just started with) and he didnt like the thought of it so it became my own pleasure, and the thing is i didnt think of my dad i thought of older men being a father figure and now the thought of my own dad in my head and it scares the living daylights out of me and it wont go away. Im very ashamed of myself and i never wanted this in the first place.

[hoppipolla]

Actually, i may not of got it straight. Basically, my friends dad has pornography of older men and younger girls, in all different scenarios.. after i seen this it snowballed into all types of stuff into my mind, i started making it into fantasies with my boyfriend (who i'd just started with) and he didnt like the thought of it so it became my own pleasure, and the thing is i didnt think of my dad i thought of older men being a father figure and now the thought of my own dad in my head and it scares the living daylights out of me and it wont go away. Im very ashamed of myself and i never wanted this in the first place.

aww heh, it's all pretty like... logical and it makes sense, I mean it does seem to be true that, on the whole, guys tend to go for girls who are a bit younger and girls tend to go for guys that are a bit older. It's just that sometimes it hits larger extremes and that's when it can be worrying, and yeah definitely thoughts can sometimes just spring into your head that you'd really rather weren't there!

I have known a couple of rships that had like 20 year age gaps where the girl was about 18 and the guy more like late 30s, it seems to just happen sometimes.

The thought you are talking about however is just kinda unfortunate that it's found it's way into your mind so persistently and you wish it wasn't there :( Usually, the healer is time I find, eventually other things take your attention and you may find it starts to go. and it definitely doesn't make you the.. w word! lol it just makes you a human being with a normal, often unpredictable human brain! hehe :)

[looking4answers]

No princess ,it will pass. I have had three daughters and im not sure they ever felt that way maybe yes and maybe no,,I really couldn't say but I took a few years of Psychology and also from lifes teachings ,from things I have read and heard, at certain times young girls do develop feelings about their fathers but they pass. I think that you are transferring deep love and care into something sexual but it really isn't. I think you will be fine.. As for his porn collection.. most men look at younger women because younger women are pretty and cute and young lol.. its pretty natural ,its not like he has the hots for his daughter..Whatever the case here I hope you feel better and im pretty sure you don't have to worry about anything. It will pass but if it helps you feel better to talk to a therapist please do ..Take care. Michael