Just been told can only wash up once a day!!

[bellabessnjet]

Hi,
I've recently been having CBT for depression, low self esteem and an ant phobia, at todays session I mentioned that I'd found it difficult not to look for the ants. We went on to explore other things, housework, how I like things in order etc. I've know been diagnosed with mild OCD. I normally HAVE to do the washing up in the morning before the school run, and like things in their place and clean. I'm not a mad cleaning lady, but he's advised for 'homework' only to wash up once a day at 7:45pm. I've managed to do it tonight, but my stress levels are through the roof! My shoulders a soooooo tense and sore. Has anyone been through anything like this? or can anyone offer me any advice or support this week, I really need someone whos knows what i'm on about. I know it may sound silly but I hope you understand. Many thanks.
Angela :weep::weep:

[shoegal]

It does not sound silly at all. A lot of people WITHOUT OCD like to keep their homes clean! It is only a problem when it takes over your life and causes you stress. I think your counsellor is just trying to prove to you that nothing bad will happen if you leave the washing up for a while. I assume he is trying to get you to challenge your habits/obsessions BEFORE they become a problem to you. There is nothing wrong with routine as long as breaking your routine doesn't cause you major stress.

Hope this helps a bit. :flowers:

[bellabessnjet]

thanks shoegal,
I guess your right, challenging it before it becomes more extreme. I didnt realise I was like this and I suppose a bit shocked. I always need to clean to try to stop the ants and its just 'feeding' my phobia. I feel so pathetic and stupid, my head hurts so much. I thought I was doing well!! lol. Oh well the road to recovery is a long widing uphill one I suppose. Weird thing is I'm so good at support and advising others, I could become a therapist. I just dont seem to believe in me I dont really think I'm worth anything.

[shoegal]

You are not pathetic. We all get funny ideas and worries in our heads sometimes and your therapist is just trying to make sure you don't get too fixated on one thing. Try not to worry because worrying makes it worse (I know, easier said than done). :wacko:

[bellabessnjet]

Thanks for your support. Really need and appreciate your replies. Going to try to get some sleep now. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning. Fingers crossed!:unsure:

[Anxious_gal]

I know with CBT they srart off with getting you to make small changes.

[shoegal]

Have a good sleep, and when you get up in the morning do something totally different from the norm. I mean I know you have to get your breakfast etc but perhaps you could watch something on TV in the lounge with a nice cup of tea, or do some ironing in another room to take your mind off the washing up. No harm will come from leaving it until later, but obviously if you like a tidy house you won't like the sight of it! Just try to distract yourself.

Hope this helps a bit. :)

[shoegal]

How are you getting on?

[bellabessnjet]

Well I managed 2 days washing up later but when I did it it took me nearly 45mins, My son got upset as this is his bedtime and my hubby couldnt cope with the mess!!! On weds ran out of pots so thought stuff this its causing me more stress. However got an ant in on Tues evening and managed to deal with it and use the techniques taught at cbt it worked but left me drained. I did leave the hoovering up though instead!!anyway just going to see my cbt man will let you know how I get on and thanks for asking.
Angela x

[shoegal]

How have they taught you to deal with the ants?

[bellabessnjet]

Anyone whos squemish PLEASE DO NOT READ most people without an ant problem cant listen to this I HAVE WARNED YOU.

I close my eyes and imagine:
Basically I have to imagine my worst case scenario, which was for me my hubby& son sat at the table, I'd just put dinner out, turn to go back into the dining room and there are ants everywhere. Swarming all over the floor, flying one dive bombing all over my son and hubby, all over the food etc, I then have to imagine I sit down and eat my meal. I cant spray anything, I just have to sit watch and eat. At first my heart was racing, I waas crying, panicking etc, but the more I just sat there and imagined carrying on with eating, the less stressful it got, eventually my stress came down from 10max to 3. I do this everyday twice a day know my stress starts at 7 and is down to 2.
When the ant came in I had to get as near to it as I could without feeling to stressed. I sat there and did the exercise, over and over to get the it took a good 40mins to get my stress down, but then I pushed myself by putting the ant on my hand 3 times. I then repeated the exercise. Then when I'd done all I could went and left the ant and played cards with my son.

The theory behind it is confronting your fears, apparently we feel stress up to a level sso then reduce it somehow. ie I see an ant stress goes up, I kill it put powder down therefore bring my levels down. But by doing this I'm learning a cycle stress-ant-kill ant-stress down. However if I make my stress go through the roof by doing nothing, eventually my levels will come down without needing to control the ants. Therefore getting rid of my fear of ants.
I hope this makes sense and I've not freaked anyone out.
Angela

[shoegal]

It sounds like you did really well. It is never easy to face any phobia, so well done for what you have achieved so far. :yesyes:

I know this probably won't help, but most people get a few ants in the summer and it's not a sign of poor hygiene or anything. They can't spread disease or damage anything so you don't have to worry about anything apart from tackling your phobia. What exactly is it about ants that you hate so much? Are you ok with other insects?

Do you wash up in the morning because you are worried about attracting ants or was that a completely different thing?

[bellabessnjet]

You got it! I clean all the pots, hoover u all the time so that I dont leave any food that could attract them. I wipe down all the surfaces so theres no water for them, put peppermint oil round the skirting to deter them you name it I do it!!!!

I dont know why I hate them so much, we've had them for years 10+ at least, and each year it still happens. After talking it out it may be because I cant control them, and thats become obsessional with checking for them, also when I was pregnant we'd been out for a meal came home and (I'm not exaggerating cause I counted!lol) 112 dead flying ants and 30+ normal ants all over my dining florr. I then sprayed stuff, but 2 months later my son was born prem, he has now been diagnoses autistic/aspergers and has had other problems. I blame myself for his prem birth and think its because I sprayed the ant stuff. I know its not logical but I think its all connected in someway in my warped head! Thank you for keeping in touch I really apprecate it.
Angela :hugs:

[Bill]

Angela:hugs:

Have you tried blocking holes up with talc, used boiling water or tried Nippon in small covered containers that have holes at the sides? I've found all these things worked here and they haven't come back...until probably the summer.

I must admit I nearly always only wash up last thing at night because everything's alway left to me anyway and I find it easier just to get it all done in one go but then there's more of you using things so I can understand you running out of pots. I can also understand your fear of dirt pots attracting the ants.

i know the theory behind the CBT because the idea is to de-sensitise you when you see an ant so that you lose your fear of them. What I think is sad though is that you have to learn how to live with them because surely there must be some way of getting rid of the majority. I don't know if you've tried them but I found the Nippon containers very effective because the ants that visit them take it back to their nest.

I just hope somehow you find some peace from them.:hugs:

[bellabessnjet]

Thank you Bill,
I'm glad you seem to understand, I'm going to try the baiting this year, I've always been so scared to use them because you have to let the ants come in!! My therapist suggested an ant farm in the house, I cant do that I'm not strong enough, saw another on Weds totally freaked me out (again!!) but did the visulisation stuff. Then like a mad woman started shouting at it, swearing at it and then picked the little B****r up and dropped it in peppermint, (didnt come back!!!).
I take great comfort from your words I just hope somehow you find some peace from them.
I'd love to be able to deal with them instead of being a paranoid wreck when I see one, for me seeing one is lke seeing 1000000000000's I'm constantly looking for them so that they wont get anywhere else. God I HATE this!!
Angela
PS Having a bit of a rough time at moment, just feel very nervous and worried somethings going to happen

[Bill]

I'm Sure it's just your anxious state making you feel something is going to happen Angela. You must feel on constant tenderhooks looking out for them.:hugs:

I remember watching a programme not long ago about a woman who was terrified of worms. She just couldn't do any gardening even though she loved her garden. Imagine that! I'm Sure she would understand how you must be feeling. By the way, she DID overcome her fear through CBT because you saw her holding them by the end of the programme so it seems it Can be done!

When I used those traps, I looked to see where they were coming in through the wall and then I placed the trap right beside the entrance so that they immediately got drawn to it before they went anywhere else. I watched them go in, pick up the stuff and then go back through the entrance to their nest. It made me feel cruel to be honest but they never came back so I've no doubts it'd work for you too. The traps are covered and you only need a small amount but anyone with pets should of course be careful where they put them.

Afterwards I'd seal the entrance up or use talc because they can't walk through it. Also makes the house smell nice! lol

I meant what I said....I Sincerely hope you find some peace from these pests!:bighug1: