WembleyBear
26-01-10, 10:48
Hi, I'm Martyn. I'm 39 and have so many anxiety problems I hardly know where to start! I work in a very stressful IT job, and over the last year my symptoms have worsened.
I suffer from chronic neck pain due to loose ligaments (it's a hypermobility thing apparently as I'm 6'8" tall) and have also recently been diagnosed with prostatitis. I take Dosulepin at night for depression/anxiety but cannot take it in the morning as it makes me too sleepy.
I like my job (used to love it, but ownership of the company changed two years ago and my new director is a real bully), but it is very stressful - I am the only IT support worker in the group and people often vent their frustration verbally at me. My director is totally unsupportive and often speaks to me and indeed my colleagues in a very rude and agressive manner (at least it isn't just me - I try not to take it personally, but I do anyway!). I have no-one in the company I can talk to about this, as the three directors back each other up and just challenge me abusively if I try to raise the issues or say how I feel.
In the last year I have moved house 4 times (finally buying my own place!) but I am increasingly exhausted, at my pain, at the stress of work, at the fear of losing my job and my own health anxiety. My performance at work has gone down considerably because of this, perhaps unsurprisingly, and this doesn't help either.
My one supporter is my partner of 9 years, but he has no concept of depression or anxiety and is almost never ill, so he struggles to understand sometimes. He is a great guy and I love him to bits but am terrified that I push him away with all my problems sometimes. My parents don't accept that I am gay and will not talk to me about it, so I feel like I am hiding that from them as well.
What a nightmare I am! :) Sometimes I find myself wondering how quickly I can get the day over with so I can go back to bed. I am thinking of having either counselling or CBT, but as usual spend so long deliberating over the decision I don't know what to do - I spoke to my GP but there is a waiting list on the NHS of 6-8 months, so I have to think about finding one privately and that has put me in a quandry!
Well, there you have it, or at least most of it. I would probably say that I am generally anxious/health anxious and would welcome any advice on CBT or counselling that anyone has....
Martyn :)
I suffer from chronic neck pain due to loose ligaments (it's a hypermobility thing apparently as I'm 6'8" tall) and have also recently been diagnosed with prostatitis. I take Dosulepin at night for depression/anxiety but cannot take it in the morning as it makes me too sleepy.
I like my job (used to love it, but ownership of the company changed two years ago and my new director is a real bully), but it is very stressful - I am the only IT support worker in the group and people often vent their frustration verbally at me. My director is totally unsupportive and often speaks to me and indeed my colleagues in a very rude and agressive manner (at least it isn't just me - I try not to take it personally, but I do anyway!). I have no-one in the company I can talk to about this, as the three directors back each other up and just challenge me abusively if I try to raise the issues or say how I feel.
In the last year I have moved house 4 times (finally buying my own place!) but I am increasingly exhausted, at my pain, at the stress of work, at the fear of losing my job and my own health anxiety. My performance at work has gone down considerably because of this, perhaps unsurprisingly, and this doesn't help either.
My one supporter is my partner of 9 years, but he has no concept of depression or anxiety and is almost never ill, so he struggles to understand sometimes. He is a great guy and I love him to bits but am terrified that I push him away with all my problems sometimes. My parents don't accept that I am gay and will not talk to me about it, so I feel like I am hiding that from them as well.
What a nightmare I am! :) Sometimes I find myself wondering how quickly I can get the day over with so I can go back to bed. I am thinking of having either counselling or CBT, but as usual spend so long deliberating over the decision I don't know what to do - I spoke to my GP but there is a waiting list on the NHS of 6-8 months, so I have to think about finding one privately and that has put me in a quandry!
Well, there you have it, or at least most of it. I would probably say that I am generally anxious/health anxious and would welcome any advice on CBT or counselling that anyone has....
Martyn :)