Claire50
26-01-10, 14:52
Hi
My husband suffers from anxiety, and I am trying to learn how to handle this in a way acceptable to us both. We have been to Relate, and have been advised that when he is anxious he goes into victim mode and I try and rescue him. If I have any wants and needs that are different to his he gets immensly anxious because he does not understand them and in his words "I need someone to help me understand". As I am no longer allowed to rescue him I find it very difficult to see him so anxious and as he does not understand my wants and needs I get depressed. I totally understand that he cannot at the moment deal with the anxiousness but I was wondering how other people on this site deal with problems like this.
I am a bit confused at the moment as I dont want to make him anxious but feeling very depressed as I cannot get him to understand me.
Sorry but difficult to explain, hope someone can understand.
My husband suffers from anxiety, and I am trying to learn how to handle this in a way acceptable to us both. We have been to Relate, and have been advised that when he is anxious he goes into victim mode and I try and rescue him. If I have any wants and needs that are different to his he gets immensly anxious because he does not understand them and in his words "I need someone to help me understand". As I am no longer allowed to rescue him I find it very difficult to see him so anxious and as he does not understand my wants and needs I get depressed. I totally understand that he cannot at the moment deal with the anxiousness but I was wondering how other people on this site deal with problems like this.
I am a bit confused at the moment as I dont want to make him anxious but feeling very depressed as I cannot get him to understand me.
Sorry but difficult to explain, hope someone can understand.