Children

[nikk_dolittle]

Hi All.

please may i have some examples of this.....

How can adults develop confidence in children?

for years:
0-2
4-5
10-11

:)

Its for my essay i need to have peoples opinions.

Thanks

Spiderlady xxx:hugs:

[marie1974]

hi there, well i have 3 children, 2 boys 13 and 10 and a daughter 5, with my 10 yr old, i try and praise him as much as possible, even for small things like, being thoughtful etc, i encourage him to talk lots and always give his opinion on things and most of all i think caring parents, routine and lots of hugs do the trick with all children all ages.

[Carys]

Here are my thoughts....

* Positive discipline; based on praise and encouragement for a desired behaviour.
* Unconditional love; tell them how much you love them, often, touch, cuddle and don't with hold your love for any reason !
* Have time when you talk - from even an early age, time for them to share their feelings, discuss worries and just time to laugh.
* Play together, read together, do things together often, find some time daily to really 'connect' no matter how busy you are. Show them they are the most important thing in your life.
* Celebrate achievements,no matter how small.
* Show interest in things that are important to them.
* I am totally against physical approaches to discipline, so no smacking !
* Give the child a chance to explain themselves if they do something you don't approve of, then discuss, as often they have innocent reasons for doing something wrong.
*Respect their feelings, but also expect them to respect other people around them.....
* Clear boundaries and expectations, good routine.
* Try not to shout, or lose your temper to the point of being uncontrolled.
* Consistency in all things - unpredictablity is worrying for children and can cause anxiety.
* If you need to use sanctions for disciplinary reasons, make those immediate and in proportion to the trangression.
* Never be afraid to apologise if you make an error.
* Keep them 'in the loop' (to the level they are able to understand according to their age) with regard to family matters, possible changes to their environment etc.
* Teach them moral values - caring, charity, empathy, altrusim etc.
* Teach them to be true to themselves and not to feel they have to always conform.
* Help them to understand their rights as an individual with respect to their safety, privacy, bullying etc.

Ekkkk, I'll stop there......otherwise I'll keep going....

[sb001f8994]

Hi Nikk,
The younger the child is I think its easier to rasie confidence, for example when potty training we priase the tiniest effort and its a real boost. As the child becomes older and at nursery or school it is far more difficult as they seem to become aware of their peers and listen to them more than their family. The more friends they have is often not a good thing as they compare themselves and often see themselves as not as good. The bullying factor also plays a big part in confidence, I know from personel experience and of my children. Once it starts you just go downhill. To get back on track takes a lot of doing but with praise, time and lots of help from school etc really is the only way. The last age group you mention, 10-11 year olds I think is the hardest of all. They are going to a new school and the confidence that had grown in primary school has been chucked out of the window and they face a whole new world. As long as you are there for them, give lots of encouragement and remind them they are as good as anyone else and that all the other kids are feeling just the same seems to help. Some kids are very lucky and seem to radiate confidence, perehaps it comes from their enviroment. I was not the most confident of people when I had my boys and they lacked a bit as children but my daughter on the other hand has always been full of confidence and she has excelled in everything she has done. My boys were born when I was young and perhaps immature where I was a lot older and had more confidence as a mum when I had her. Perhaps its all down to what confidence we have in ourselves that rubs off on our children?
Ive gone into far too much detail for you I guess, sorry!
Hope it helps a little any way.
Carol x

[bottleblond]

I think all children need lots of interaction, praise and most importantly, Love!

xx

[belle]

I have raised my child with contant praising...even if he blows his nose...lol. Every little thing counts!!!! However, i do discipline...i am very strict too, so he knows right from wrong, but i NEVER smack. I punish by hitting him where it hurts - TV and computer games!!! :)

[eeyorelover]

Don't know how in depth the essay needs to be but you could also examine the difference in gender.
I think it's important to instill self worth to all children, male or female but the fact is that girls have to be able to deal with the female ideal that society dictates, ex. being lady-like, more docile and the like. So I do think that teaching girls to value themselves and give them the strength to stand up for themselves is very important!

Open lines of communication are so important. My children know they can come to me and ask me anything and I will give them an honest answer.
Also instilling a value system is very important. Respect, honesty, and manners are important.

Encouraging creativity and imagination when they are young. The possibilities of what could be later in life are so intriguing to young children. My daughter has gone from wanting to be a ballerina to a rock star and now that she is older she is going into college to be a pediatrician :)
I think that the hardest job for any parent is to let their children try things for themselves and not get it right the first time!
Failure is a part of growing up. It can be a great teacher. I'm not saying to completely abandon the child to their own devices but take tying their shoes for example. I showed them how and helped them now and then but allowed them to put in the work to get it right. Gives a sense of real accomplishment when they finally get it right themselves :)
xxx
Sandy

[nikk_dolittle]

Thank you all. I will add this to my essay. I wasnt sure where to start. Will let you now what happens.

Means alot
Nikk xxxxxxx