Citalopram, Panic and university

[theeldertree]

I'm 22 and have had chronic anxiety for 2/3 years now. This year I have started university. It seems that going university and living in a whole new environment has tripled my anxiety and I got worse when I returned home for Christmas. Mainly because home was always something I longed for, yet it wasn't how I remembered it when I returned.
I thought it was about time I got professional help, so I visited the doctors and he prescribed me with 10mg of Citalopram. The first week on it was horrific, I developed really intense panic attacks and agrophobia. I couldn't go out of the house for a whole week and didn't go to lectures all that week as I couldn't bring myself to go outside for fear I was going to have a panic attack in public.
2nd week got better. I managed to get outside and travel to uni. I went to 4 lectures out of 8 in the week. Now I am in the 3rd week of citalopram and things have got worse again, I was okay a couple of days ago and now I'm not. I've missed so much of University, although I can view powerpoint lectures online, I still feel like i'm missing important information. I now am anxious that people will think I'm just being a lazy student and thinking that I just can't be bothered. It's literally like a wall against me and I can't go anywhere, trapped. This morning I freaked out and have had heart palpitations and cold sweats and I can't seem to calm myself down. I receive positive thinking therapy, it works for a while yet the negatives always outweigh the positives.
I am very surprised how supportive people at university have been, they have offered their help quite alot. Even though I know they haven't ever been through what I'm feeling now, it's nice to know that they care.
I am returning to the doctor Monday (3 days time) to discuss my medication and I don't know what will happen. Whether he will put me on something new or up my dose to 20mg.

The reason for me posting this is to just ask if anyone else out there is in a similar position to me, or have tried or is on citalopram and whether what I am experiencing is normal? Will things get better?

Thank you for reading.
Lucy

[BexieB]

Hi eldertree

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time at the moment...but be assured that your experience of Cit is pretty typical. The 10mg dose is really only to get your body used to the drug, it is to low to provide any real theraputic effects. I would be very suprised if your doc didn't up you to 20mg. This is when you'll start to feel the real benefits of the med. These meds can take many weeks until you start to stabilise and feel back to your old self. Everything you describe is so common.

Hang in there
Love and Hugs
Bexie

[Brunette]

Hi Lucy,

When you see your doctor please speak to him about what else can be done about your anxiety - counselling, self-help therapy etc.

Meds will help ease your symptoms in the short term, they will l not cure your anxiety. If you want long-term freedom from its horrible effects you will need to get the the root cause of it and deal with it.

Hope you feel better soon.

B

[pheetuz]

Hi Lucy.

I am in pretty much the same situation as you.
I am 20 years old and started university this year, the only difference being that i didnt move out of my home town.
I've been through all the motions in my head that you have, fear of having a panic attack in public, mainly worried about having one in a lecture and having to walk out in front of everybody, and worrying about what other students / lecturers would think.

As for the panic attacks, I suffered from one in a lecture and somehow managed to ride it out for 20mins or so just sitting there untill the lesson had finished, but I have not suffered from one since, i think managing to ride it out for 20mins without dying or going mad made me realise that they are harmless even though they dont feel it at the time.

Luckily i had two friends from a previous degree that I did in my class so they have helped me emmensly catching up on work and stuff that i have missed, much like your online lectures will do. What course are you studying?? Definately think its possible for you to keep up with the work even if you dont attend even half your lectures, not that im encouraging you to miss them.

I was prescribed citalopram, and like you, I started on 10MG and moved up to 20MG after two weeks, the first week was absolutely horrible, I hardly left the house either and was plagued by constant panic attacks, at the time I really didnt think i was going to make it through the week.

But over time the panic attacks dulled down and just turned into high anxiety, which is something that i have no history of. These anxiety levels remained high for me and I started to suspect that they were being exasterbated by the citalopram. I went back to my doctor and he said that he agreed that the citalopram was making me worse, and i slowly tapered myself off it, I feel soo much better now that im off it, although my anxiety is coming back atm, I just really dont want to go on any more anti depressants.

But, how your are feeling at the moment is perfectly normal for someone that is starting out on citalopram and it will get better, just gota give it time ( hated it when people told me that)... It can take up to two months before the citalopram starts to work fully although i knew a long time before that, that it wasnt for me. But i know people that it has helped in a big way so stick with it.

Know my post hasnt been completely positive but definately stick with the citalopram, it takes a while to kick in fully.

Hope it helps to know there are other people going through a similar kind of thing.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

/Pete