ScaredCaz
30-01-10, 13:19
Hi Guys
Sorry for this long post but i need to talk if thats ok :blush:
Last night i really cracked under the pressure of things going through my head and i ended up having the biggest cry of my life my poor hubby had to endure it all whilst wondering where it come from
My problems started 14 months ago when my mam who was my whole world died very suddenly of a heart attack she was 62 :weep:
I remember the next day being in her house and having chest pains and telling my sister who said your heart is broken and she was right i can honestly say i have not felt well for any real length of time since that day
My first problem was acid, feeling like i had something in my throat and getting alot of indegestion i had a awful episode of heartburn on boxing day 08 when my sister came to my house and sat here till 3am waiting for the doctor to ring to see if i had to go hospital by the time he rang it had eased and he said to use gaviscon
i then started to have palpatations,panic attacks,missed heartbeats etc etc i had been seeing a doctor a male one who i thought was really nice and he prescibed me fluxotine they made me really ill and i ended up having the mother of all panic attacks on 22nd august 09 which was my daughters 16th birthday :weep:
After that the constipation started feeling sick etc etc i was never really diagnosed with ibs but the tabs seemed to help so they kept prescribing them to me i was still seeing the male doctor at this point it has always been hard for me to go docs it takes alot to get me there so my last appointment with the male doc i got the feeling he was bored because he yawned in my face needless to say i felt as though i was a burden and i have never been to see him since
I have now a lovely female doctor who remembers my mam which i think is lovely since it is a big surgery with many patients
Anyway my constipation lead to piles external ones which was amazingly painful but the cream the doc gave me worked and i won,t be straining to go toilet again thats for sure i now make sure i eat either beans,porridge or weetabix at least once a day to keep me regular and it seems to work
I am on colofac for ibs i take 15mg of lanzoprozole once a day and paracetamols 4 times a day because i have a back problem which probably worries me the most it is mainly on my left side kind of like around my ribs but at the back it sometimes affects my shoulder and my left arm my neck and shoulders are ALWAYS aching sometimes right up to the back of my head
I must admit i am a sod for not taking my meds properly like is says 20 mins before food and i have been taking it after food i sometimes miss a dose of paras which of course leads to more pain and i get more worried but sometimes even when i do take my tabs properly i am still in pain esp from my back and my ibs is this normal? would my anxiety cause this?
I know i sit at my laptop too long and at night from 7pm when my son goes to bed i sit in bed till i go sleep i know this can not be helping but i feel safe there in my room
I am seeing a coucellor who said 12/18 months is the normal grieving process well that gives me 4 months to sort myself out i know i can,t do it i can,t imagine feeling any different in 12 to 18 years how do i begin to get used to this life without my mam? where do i start trying to accept i will never ever see her again?
In all this the only test i have had is a full blood count which showed cholestorol of 5.2 and a abnormal thyroid level which they said they would retest in 3 months this was in sept i am scared that although i trust my doc and i know shes good at her job how can she know i have not got something serious? i have also had the h polyri test not got the results yet i don,t want to be referred to the hospital that is my biggest fear but how can i get myself to trust my doctors judgement?
I am so sorry to have gone on and on thanks guys :hugs:
Sorry for this long post but i need to talk if thats ok :blush:
Last night i really cracked under the pressure of things going through my head and i ended up having the biggest cry of my life my poor hubby had to endure it all whilst wondering where it come from
My problems started 14 months ago when my mam who was my whole world died very suddenly of a heart attack she was 62 :weep:
I remember the next day being in her house and having chest pains and telling my sister who said your heart is broken and she was right i can honestly say i have not felt well for any real length of time since that day
My first problem was acid, feeling like i had something in my throat and getting alot of indegestion i had a awful episode of heartburn on boxing day 08 when my sister came to my house and sat here till 3am waiting for the doctor to ring to see if i had to go hospital by the time he rang it had eased and he said to use gaviscon
i then started to have palpatations,panic attacks,missed heartbeats etc etc i had been seeing a doctor a male one who i thought was really nice and he prescibed me fluxotine they made me really ill and i ended up having the mother of all panic attacks on 22nd august 09 which was my daughters 16th birthday :weep:
After that the constipation started feeling sick etc etc i was never really diagnosed with ibs but the tabs seemed to help so they kept prescribing them to me i was still seeing the male doctor at this point it has always been hard for me to go docs it takes alot to get me there so my last appointment with the male doc i got the feeling he was bored because he yawned in my face needless to say i felt as though i was a burden and i have never been to see him since
I have now a lovely female doctor who remembers my mam which i think is lovely since it is a big surgery with many patients
Anyway my constipation lead to piles external ones which was amazingly painful but the cream the doc gave me worked and i won,t be straining to go toilet again thats for sure i now make sure i eat either beans,porridge or weetabix at least once a day to keep me regular and it seems to work
I am on colofac for ibs i take 15mg of lanzoprozole once a day and paracetamols 4 times a day because i have a back problem which probably worries me the most it is mainly on my left side kind of like around my ribs but at the back it sometimes affects my shoulder and my left arm my neck and shoulders are ALWAYS aching sometimes right up to the back of my head
I must admit i am a sod for not taking my meds properly like is says 20 mins before food and i have been taking it after food i sometimes miss a dose of paras which of course leads to more pain and i get more worried but sometimes even when i do take my tabs properly i am still in pain esp from my back and my ibs is this normal? would my anxiety cause this?
I know i sit at my laptop too long and at night from 7pm when my son goes to bed i sit in bed till i go sleep i know this can not be helping but i feel safe there in my room
I am seeing a coucellor who said 12/18 months is the normal grieving process well that gives me 4 months to sort myself out i know i can,t do it i can,t imagine feeling any different in 12 to 18 years how do i begin to get used to this life without my mam? where do i start trying to accept i will never ever see her again?
In all this the only test i have had is a full blood count which showed cholestorol of 5.2 and a abnormal thyroid level which they said they would retest in 3 months this was in sept i am scared that although i trust my doc and i know shes good at her job how can she know i have not got something serious? i have also had the h polyri test not got the results yet i don,t want to be referred to the hospital that is my biggest fear but how can i get myself to trust my doctors judgement?
I am so sorry to have gone on and on thanks guys :hugs: