panic at work please help

[jackie26]

hi everyone, i have not been on the site for a while cos i thought i was coping with things ok. how wrong i was, had a few good weeks at the begining of december but my old friend mr panic soon reared his ugly head again. i keep having panic attacks over things at work, i think i have made a mistake but really i know i haven;t but then mr panic creeps in and convinces me i have made major mistakes. the amount of times just recently i have gone back into the office when i have been on my way home is crazy. tonight is no exception, panicking over something and nothing again but it has really got hold. i have managed to stay at home though and not go back in but i am still terrified i have made a mistake, even though i know i have checked over and over and over. i have been stressed recently, money and family stuff which i won't bore you with. but i really hate feeling like this. i would change job but as we all know there is not much out there and would it make any difference anyway. would i still have the same problems. cant afford to take time off work really as i have had quite a lot off last year and am getting close to being put on a warning adn half pay. sorry for going on but just wanted to get this off my chest and hopefully get some kind words of adviced back cos i know what a great site this is and people are helpful. :)

[BexieB]

Hi Jackie

Have you given CBT a go....it seems to be really good for this type of 'stinking thinking'.

Hope you feel better soon
Love and Hugs
Bexie

[Dying_Swan]

Hi Jackie.

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I know exactly where you're coming from and it's really difficult.

Firstly - well done for not going back to check. That's probably the worst thing you can do! The key to overcoming it is to learn to live with the anxious feelings you have - and the desire to go and check. So, you did really well to stay at home and should be proud of yourself for that :)

Secondly - you said that you have a lot of stress right now in your life which is sure to be contributing. I find I check things a lot more when I'm generally anxious....maybe it's our way of trying to stay in control? Don't put too much pressure on yourself. It should ease up when things are calmer for you.

I read a book that said people do this ritual checking because of low self esteem - you don't have enough confidence in your memory to believe you've done it. The more you check, the less you focus and the more you feel the need to check - vicious circle.

Take small steps - check things that you feel you need to, but check them once and then leave it. You know you did it, you know you checked you did it, and there's no need to keep on looking.

About your job - would you be leaving to leave the anxiety behind? If so, ask yourself what's really causing it and whether a new job would be beneficial or whether it would just put even more pressure on you.

Good luck

[jackie26]

dying swan- thanks for your kind words. i think you are right i would be leaving work to leave the anxiety behind, i did that about 10 years ago adn it worked for a while but it has a habit of coming back and biting us on the bum when least expected. you are also right about the fact that the more you check the less you are able to focus and figure what is right adn what is wrong that is what is happening tonight, i have lost all rationality. it is such a horrible feeling and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but on the other hand it is reassuring to know that someone else has gone through or is going through the same thing. people at work say they understand cos i don't hide what is happening but unles it has happened to them they cant really know. the stress inmy life is an ongoign thing that is not goign to be easily solved so i just need to try adn deal with it. i am having counselling at work through occy health dept and it helps a bit. i have had cbt but only an 8 week course that was through occy health as well adn it helped for a while but things have just spiraled out of control again. thanks again for your kind words of wisdom.:)