looking4answers
01-02-10, 23:35
I hope this doesn't turn out to be a long post of my apologies to start with just in case. For the last two weeks I have had a feeling of doom. Or a feeling of apprehension something I have been unable to shake.
I sometimes get this feeling for a few hours or a day but never for a few weeks. I just can't put my finger on it other than a feeling that something bad is about to happen. I sometimes feel better days and other days I get
a little breathless.
My wife said that it started with the snow that we didn't expect .We got over three feet in 12 hours. Then everyday with the exception of this one
its been foggy .. seriously weird scifi type fog. I have never seen it last this long .Nights ,days, evenings .moving in and out. But I can't totally agree with her on this because we have had a lot more weird weather here and it never affected me. Actually thought it was kind of cool.
Im not sure what happened. I was sitting watching something on television and realized I was no longer interested in that particular thing although its been a life long passion of mine. Then I started feeling a little detached from everything familiar to me, which this has happened before but nothing serious. This doesn't seem to be something I can't function with but then again I don't like the feeling.
Its a feeling that something is out of place and I am feeling trapped. We have been talking of selling our home and moving to the west coast and it was a thought in the back of m mind for awhile but its not been a driving force in my life. Then all of a sudden we decided we were going to sell our home and move to the west coast.We talked to the real estate person and they said that it would be better to wait until March or April to list . My heart sank as I realized this is about the only way we could move is to sell and sales are very good for real estate right now.. so I feel trapped.
My wife expressed to me how much she hated living here and all this time I thought it was me that hated it sometime and other times not so much..Now to find that she really loathes it.. shocks me and makes me feel bad.. We also had a fight a couple of weeks ago that made me feel that maybe she doesn't love me the way I thought she did and im pretty much on my own whether I live with her or not.
Somethings were said between us and now I feel bad inside because all this time I thought no matter what I have someone that will stick by me no matter what.. I maybe over reacting and she may not feel like that at all but I had never had any negative thoughts about her feelings for me the way they were expressed that day..Come to think about it..I think this was the time I started feeling very vulnerable..
Now that I write this Im wondering if that was what set off my feelings of being trapped here. Usually I only feel this way occasionally and then see the good things here and then I cheer up.. now I have a real foreboding feeling and not only that my heart seems to have a mind of its on lately ,
It beats hard when it shouldn't and doesn't seem to beat fast enough sometimes when it should. Even now I feel skipped beats which I have had many of them lately . At 55 I get really nervous and worried about them although I have been told I don't have a heart problem.. I guess Im just really venting here ...and it has turned into a long post and forgive me for that.. Im confused and hate this uncertain feeling. Like I said I have this sometimes but usually it goes away.
Its hasn't gone anywhere in two weeks .Its sticks to me like glue. I even wondered if it was a premonition to my death and then I was reminded of my words to someone else there is no such thing as premonitions so my logic kicked in and I feel just generally malaise and can't seem to relax..
I want so much to be back to myself but wonder if that will ever happen..Was it the brow beating of words from my wife that caused this or the feeling of being trapped in a place and not being able to do anything about it. Is it just a constant fear of the unknown or of death or is it just one of those feelings that you get and it goes away.. Have I slipped over the edge to a place of no return? What has happened. I hate this feeling..
Will it ever go away ? I have to answer my own question about does anyone else feel this way? I know they do. Can someone maybe read between the lines here and figure out how to get me back to the way I normally feel.. Anybody? I really would appreciate it .
I sometimes get this feeling for a few hours or a day but never for a few weeks. I just can't put my finger on it other than a feeling that something bad is about to happen. I sometimes feel better days and other days I get
a little breathless.
My wife said that it started with the snow that we didn't expect .We got over three feet in 12 hours. Then everyday with the exception of this one
its been foggy .. seriously weird scifi type fog. I have never seen it last this long .Nights ,days, evenings .moving in and out. But I can't totally agree with her on this because we have had a lot more weird weather here and it never affected me. Actually thought it was kind of cool.
Im not sure what happened. I was sitting watching something on television and realized I was no longer interested in that particular thing although its been a life long passion of mine. Then I started feeling a little detached from everything familiar to me, which this has happened before but nothing serious. This doesn't seem to be something I can't function with but then again I don't like the feeling.
Its a feeling that something is out of place and I am feeling trapped. We have been talking of selling our home and moving to the west coast and it was a thought in the back of m mind for awhile but its not been a driving force in my life. Then all of a sudden we decided we were going to sell our home and move to the west coast.We talked to the real estate person and they said that it would be better to wait until March or April to list . My heart sank as I realized this is about the only way we could move is to sell and sales are very good for real estate right now.. so I feel trapped.
My wife expressed to me how much she hated living here and all this time I thought it was me that hated it sometime and other times not so much..Now to find that she really loathes it.. shocks me and makes me feel bad.. We also had a fight a couple of weeks ago that made me feel that maybe she doesn't love me the way I thought she did and im pretty much on my own whether I live with her or not.
Somethings were said between us and now I feel bad inside because all this time I thought no matter what I have someone that will stick by me no matter what.. I maybe over reacting and she may not feel like that at all but I had never had any negative thoughts about her feelings for me the way they were expressed that day..Come to think about it..I think this was the time I started feeling very vulnerable..
Now that I write this Im wondering if that was what set off my feelings of being trapped here. Usually I only feel this way occasionally and then see the good things here and then I cheer up.. now I have a real foreboding feeling and not only that my heart seems to have a mind of its on lately ,
It beats hard when it shouldn't and doesn't seem to beat fast enough sometimes when it should. Even now I feel skipped beats which I have had many of them lately . At 55 I get really nervous and worried about them although I have been told I don't have a heart problem.. I guess Im just really venting here ...and it has turned into a long post and forgive me for that.. Im confused and hate this uncertain feeling. Like I said I have this sometimes but usually it goes away.
Its hasn't gone anywhere in two weeks .Its sticks to me like glue. I even wondered if it was a premonition to my death and then I was reminded of my words to someone else there is no such thing as premonitions so my logic kicked in and I feel just generally malaise and can't seem to relax..
I want so much to be back to myself but wonder if that will ever happen..Was it the brow beating of words from my wife that caused this or the feeling of being trapped in a place and not being able to do anything about it. Is it just a constant fear of the unknown or of death or is it just one of those feelings that you get and it goes away.. Have I slipped over the edge to a place of no return? What has happened. I hate this feeling..
Will it ever go away ? I have to answer my own question about does anyone else feel this way? I know they do. Can someone maybe read between the lines here and figure out how to get me back to the way I normally feel.. Anybody? I really would appreciate it .