I need to let it all out!

[CrazyC]

Hi, I just need someone to talk to. Well let it all out.

I am 23 years old, i dont work. I stay in as often as i can and i live with my parents who are basically (keeping me) and i can tell i am not really that welcome here anyway. My mum told me a few home truths just before Christmas and i dont see any understanding.

This constant fear is ruining my life. Half the time i dont even know why i am scares or what i am scared of i just feel like im alone!! Sometimes i feel like two totally different people, one day i can be alright feel fairly normal and relaxed then all of a sudden i feel RUBBISH. I constantly think..why am i like this why is my life nothing!! Im feeling depressed right now which was all brought on mainly by a few of my fears AND almost loosing well sort of lost my boyfriend!! Due to my constant "moaning" and voicing my fears.

I know it can be alot for someone to handle but i really cant do it alone. I need to go to the dentist this has brought on a huge spell of depression and anxiety because its "simple tasks" such as going to the dentist which make me feel actually insane!! Sometimes i feel like i have a crazy person trapped in me because in one thought i can think yes i need to go so just have to face it then the other thought is...what if...and the unknown.

You name it im scared of it!!! WHY?!...I DONT KNOW!

I dont see any future for me and that kills me. I know people just see me as a lazy sponger! I feel like a child at times i NEED someone to hold my hand or do things for me which at 23 i should be doing myself.

I have been in tears all day, can definatly class this as a BAD DAY! I just dont wanna be this person anymore. I have contimplated suicide but to be honest im even to much of a chicken to do that because again i think of...what ifs!!..:weep:

I just wanna feel like i am an actual person and can do things without constantly worrying and feeling sick. Im in so much pain with my tooth and im just so unsure what to do!!! I cant stand being like this and pushing people away and making those who are close to me HATE ME. Nobody understands. People just think im some kind of attention seeker.

I feel like im being drained and just not sure what to do and do you ever actually fully get over this and live to lead a normal life? :unsure:

Sorry i needed to just get it out like i say nobody understands or listens and its making me feel insane having to keep it in.

[Dafyddjohndavies]

Have you tried seeking therapy? All these problems can be fixed, as always it just takes time. I know how you feel where you are scared of everything. I was there not too long ago and got to a point where I couldn't leave the house. So have you always been this way or have you only just started feeling like your scared of everything.

It's a normal reaction to anxiety where you stop doing the things that worry you. This usually doesn't cause problems until you get to the point where your listening to what your anxiety is telling you rather than trying to listen to the other side of you that is telling you to fight through it.

I'm no therapist but I can only suggest what my therapist told me.
- List every single thing that you can think of that worries you on a piece of paper, (you can keep updating this list as you go along).
- When you've written as much as you can think of pick one point to focus on e.g. Going to the dentist (ignore the rest for now) and write down why your scared of it, break it down into points.
- Then note how you feel on the whole out of 10 about going to the dentist 1 being ok 10 being really bad

Now here is the hard part.

- Go to the dentist, no matter how scared you feel or how bad it is just go and do it. Keep thinking of it as a mission that you can beat the anxiety, and go through it.
- When you come back get another piece of paper an write down the in point format how it actually felt. Write down if some parts were worse than you thought or better than you thought and what your anxiety score was out of 10 when your were there and afterwards.

You will start to notice that the fears that are controlling your are mostly your anxiety and when you put yourself out there and compare the before during and afterwards 9 times out of 10 you will see that the fears were false. This then eases one more thought that your worried about.

I did this with going to a supermarket... i used to have a horrible anxiety about them.. So doing this exercise I went and stayed in the supermarket for about 2 hours walking around and forcing myself to stay there. Eventually my anxiety brain realised that there was no threat there and stopped me worrying.

You just need to take back your brain and battle each issue one at a time... Don't look at them as one huge problem, break them right down and tackle them one at a time.

This method takes time, and commitment, but if you want to start feeling happier then it will help.

Hope you feel better soon, and you can kick this anxiety into touch!! It's hard to begin with but the more you try the easier it gets.

[CrazyC]

I used to be a very fun outgoing person with no worries at all. Infact when i was younger i used to not even worry about things that would normally be worried about. Im unsure at what point everything changed and i became this way...

I have been fighting anxiety for years now and went threw a stage of not leaving the house but last year i thought i had over come the worst as i was going out and doing things and even began to plan in advance and NOT talk myself out of going.

But just recently...over deep dark winter i have gone back into a whole. Which has set me back into thinking i will never be ok!!!

What you say is very helpful and sounds some good advice.

Im just worried...will things ever become easier. People think i can be "sorted" like..one day everything will be fine and i will be ok but im not totally convinced the battle will ever be over..might just get a little easier.

Since everyone is ill this time of year, alot of sickness bugs and such i worry myself into feeling sick again daily! I am going to give the list thing a good go!! Thank you! x

[Dafyddjohndavies]

No one on this earth is ever 100% ok. Some days you feel great sometimes you feel shit, sometimes you feel crazy... it's just being human. What I can tell you is one day these problems you have now will seem trivial If you work your arse off and focus on doing everything in your power to ease your anxieties.

The thing is if you'r thinking that one day you will magically wake up one day and feel good but unfortunatley this will not happen. This is something you have to work at everyday, constantly. You should think of your brain as a muscle, and learn to master your emotions, and take your own anxieties away. You can do this by trying therapy out, I did CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it's taken me about a year to consider myself back to normality... I still struggle with anxiety but I have fought it everyday and now feel in control again. It's been very difficult but it is do-able

It's so easy to avoid everything, and keep away from the things that your scared of but the more you do that the more fears will creep in, until you become like a friend of mine who never leaves the house and keeps explaining to people that they don't understand him etc etc.. He's given up trying, which is horrible to see.

Stop thinking of this as one massive problem, you need to start taking each problem one at a time, the more you conquer the more power you will get over your mind, you will start to feel the benefits soon enough....

by the way I suggest you don't do the dentist problem first as it is a scary situation for anyone.

[CrazyC]

This was my first ever post on here! How so much has changed.

I wanted to update and show people how things can change - I am now 28 (still living at home) but saving for a house :ohmy: I am engaged to the love of my life and we have been together over 3 years now. I learnt to drive and passed my driving test - I went to the Dentist had fillings and even teeth taken out. I run a successful Business from Home.

I have been on Holidays and Nights away. I now see a Future - a "Normal" life. I actually plan and plan for the future rather than existing day by day. This post is not to gloat and make people feel worse it is to show things can change and you can get your head in check with some help. The best thing I have found with anxiety is as soon as you understand it... it becomes a little easier.

I still have Anxiety! I still worry but only slightly more than "a normal" amount. You must remember you are you and will deal with things in a different way but it is possible to learn to cope with Anxiety. I got this far with CBT - Mood Management courses and Online Support from Friends I then met my Fiance who is so very understanding and a total god send! Do not beat yourself up for having a day at home, cancelling plans or an off day (I still have these sometimes).

If I can do it you can do it!

[Retsgard]

Congratulations! That's a heartwarming story, I'm genuinely very pleased for you :)

I don't think anybody who's not suffered could appreciate just how well you've done.