Really Scared

[shellie1]

Hi this is my first post here so apologies if it is a little long

By way of background - about 7 weeks ago - I found a couple of what I assumed were swollen lymph nodes in my neck - they appeared just after I had had a cold so I wasn't overly worried at first. After a couple of weeks I went to my gp who didn't seem too worried eithers. She said to keep an eye and to come back if they didn't go away in a few weeks and she would do a blood test. This was in early Jan. They are still there but haven't gotten any bigger so I made an appointment to go back to the doc later this week. They are about the size of a pea, movable and not rock hard.

Anyway, yesterday I was overjoyed to find out that I am pregnant and expecting my first baby. Really happy but still conscious of the lymph nodes not going away.

Then today to my horror I was scratching around my shoulder area when I found a small pea sized lump around my collarbone - it is very movable and feels quite rubbery.

I am now convinced and terrified that I have lymphoma - I have gone from the height of joy with my positive pregnancy test to the depths of despair. I feel sick with panic - please help

Thanks

[shellie1]

Please help - I am actually making myself physically sick with anxiety

[NatalieSmith]

Hello Shellie :3
First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm sure you will have a really happy family :D
The brain is a real powerful thing. If you keep thinking about these simptoms, eventually your brain will make you think you really have something. But you just have to know that this is all your anxiety! The more you worry about it, more anxiety you'll feel, and then you get these bad thoughs. Try to distract with something you really love, and focuse really hard on it! But if you still feel that anxiety, you could go to your doctor to get these things checked, today if you could. Once you see that nothing is wrong, you will feel a lot better :D

Don't worry, try to relax. Everything is going to be alright! :hugs:

[shellie1]

thanks for your reply Natalie - I know that you are right and I think a combination of your brain working overtime and the internet is a recipe for disaster. I was relatively unconcerned about the original swollen nodes until today when I found the one above my collarbone and that sent me into anxiety overdrive! It is pretty small and I would say definitely less than a cm so hopefully that is a good sign.

I guess I need to try focus on the positives and try to relax until I can see my doctor on Thursday.

Thanks again for your reply

[NatalieSmith]

Yes, the brain can really mess you up if you are stressed D: I know how hard it is to control that anxiety (Specially if you go to "Dr. Google" search things xD), but once you realize that it's nothing everything just feels better :D Try to watch a movie or read a book, and yes! the power of positive thoughs can make wonders on you. You don't have anything to worry about! And if there's anything I can do to help, I will be glad to do so :D

Go and get distracted! You will feel a lot better, I promise :D

[RJP]

Hi, reading your post reminds me of something I would have written.

I have been suffering with HA for over 2 years now and the Swollen Lymph Nodes in my neck was what started this whole thing off. I too had one on the back of my neck that swells up and can stay up for days and weeks at a time.

The first time I noticed it I too went to the docs and they too said nothing to worry about, however when I got home I decided to google it and my goodness that was the biggest mistake ever as I then managed to convince myself that I had cancer. That was when my HA started. I went back to the doc numerous times and it was what caused me to have my first panic attack. I just couldnt get into my head that it was nothing this went on for about 3 months on constant worry.

I now have moved on to other things, but my gland still swells up, and I do sometimes worry about it, but I have to rationalise that if it was something serious it wouldnt go back down. The doctor also told me that the more you touch it the more swollen it becomes.

I guess what I am trying to say is please please try to stop worrying about it and dont touch it as that make it swell more. I am sure that give it a few more weeks and it will go down, mine honestly can stay up for ages.

Sorry rambled on a bit.

Hope it helps.

Rachel x

[Corinne]

Hi, Shellie,
Best wishes on your pregnancy! What a blessing.

I noticed a small pea sized swollen gland under my chin. I had myself dead and gone. I can still feel it, and guess what? That was 30 years ago! Sometimes glands can just be felt with there being nothing wrong.

Relax and think beautiful thoughts about your baby!

[shellie1]

Thanks so much Rachel and Natalie - its great to get some reassurance. I have my husband plagued trying to feel my lymph nodes - most of the time he can't find them which I guess shows that they are probably not too swollen.

It is amazing how powerful a tool the mind is really - you can convince yourself that you have all the symptoms of anything really.

I was so excited last night when I found out that I was pregnant and then plunged into a total mess today when I found the newest lump above my collarbone. A friend of mine developed cancer while pregnant and although she gave birth to a healthy baby (albeit v premature) she is now pretty sick and I guess that is preying on my mind too.

sorry for rambling on and thanks again guys x

[Cell block H fan]

Ive mentioned it before on here when someone else said the exact same thing as you but my son has 3 of these pea size lumps, actually they are more what I call petit pois! He has one just in front of his ear, one just above his adams apple, & one just under his chin. The one by his ear appeared about 3 years ago now, the other 2 more recent.
He had blood tests done a little over a year ago, with no result to be found.
He is 14, 15 in march. He fiddles with the lumps which drives me mad. But we have been told to leave them be. Not sure if they ever go. But they are definately nothing to worry about. x

[shellie1]

Thanks all for your comforting replies - I will let you know how I get on with my doctor on Thursday xx

[NatalieSmith]

I hope you're felling better today :hugs:Keep us informed! :flowers:

[shellie1]

Natalie

Thanks for your concern - I really appreciate it. Well I went to see my doctor today - she is so lovely.
She confirmed that I am pregnant - yay!! and then we spoke about my lumps - she still feels that they are fairly small and she wouldn't be too worried. However, as they have been there for over 6 weeks, their protocol is to refer on to an ENT specialist which she did. So I guess I will wait til I get that appointment. I am also going to get a blood test early next week so hopefully that won't show up anything out of the ordinary.

I am still anxious but am trying to relax so that I can try to enjoy my pregnancy.

Hope you are well

[NatalieSmith]

Hello again :3
I'm sure it won't be anything, so you don't have anything to be nervous about. :D And yes, try to enjoy your pregnancy! Maybe you could use it to try to relax. Like trying to pick a name for the baby or going out to see baby's clothes... Maybe it would help you relax a bit. :D And I hope that you're feeling better today! Anxiety can really put us down, but we can't let it take over our lives. So try to relax; everything is going to be alright! :hugs:

[JohnnyLamb]

This has happened to me several times over the years. Two questions for you ...

First, how hard are you searching for lumps and bumps? If you search long enough, dig hard enough, poke around enough, you WILL find lumps and bumps on every surface of your body.

Second, and be honest, how often do you touch those lymph nodes on your neck? Touching them, even lightly, can keep them painful and swollen in perpetuity. So, don't touch.

Finally, my doctor told me that I will know when to worry about a swollen lymph node. The node will be fixed, hard and rubbery, and likely big.

Please feel better. This has happened to me so many times...

[shellie1]

Hi Johnny

I found the first lymph node by accident - was rubbing cream into my neck. Then whilst I was prodding around at that one, I noticed the second one nearby a couple of days later. To be honest I try not to search for anymore as I am afraid that I might find some! The first time I visited my doctor about a month ago, she checked other common locations for nodes and didn't find anything.

The third one that I found just above my collarbone a few days ago - I found while scratching a skin rash that has developed around the area.

I do admit that I poke and prod them a lot. They are the first thing I check when I wake up every morning - a bit sad I know but I am just wishing for the morning when I wake up and can't find them. I know I should try to leave them without poking for a while. My fear is that if I do that I wont realise that they may be enlarging so its a bit of a catch 22.

Thanks for your reply and help

[pippt36]

I felt very scared too when I found a lump 9 months ago. I thought I had cancer and I googled every word I could think of and only came up negative results. Alot of people have left posts on lots of sites re neck lumps ( and I think I read them all) but seldom is a conclusion posted. Just wanted to say congratulations to you and let you know that I have had 9 months of tests etc and I finally had the lump removed 3 weeks ago. It was on my right collar bone and was about the size of a marble - squashy but with hard balls inside. It sometime swelled up and someitmes it did ache a bit but not really too truoublesome. After a few months of tests (Ultra sound/CT scan/FNAs) I thought it cant' be too serious or something would have shown up. The Ultra sound doctor said it was a lymph node and they could only get red blood from FNAs. I have just had the results - the lump was a swollen blood vessel with cysts. I had never read tht this was a possibilty and it is difficult for me to imagaine that top specialists at the hospital never suggested thsi possbility. I am sure it will be nothing to worry about but it will not stop you worrying. Main thinjg is that you are doing something about it and even if it is news you don't want to hear the problem can be sorted. It could be lots of things but probably nothing to worry about - we all fear the worst. All the best Pip

[shellie1]

Thanks Pip - am glad to hear that you got a good resolution to your issues. Hopefully I will be the same! Well I got my bloods done at the doctors this morning and doc said I should get the results in a couple of days - maybe even tomorrow. Even though I know that the blood tests may not provide a full explanation for the lumps, I feel that if they are normal it will give me some degree of comfort which might help me to stop prodding and obsessing about the lumps.
Thanks again for all your reassuring messages

[shellie1]

Hi just thought I would update on this - got my blood results today and doctor says that they are absolutely perfect - nothing is even borderline so she is happy with that! Still doesn't explain the lumps but at least there is nothing majorly abnormal in the blood. She seems most concerned about the lump around my collarbone - but its really small and I think I have a similar slightly bigger one on the other side in the same place.

She wants to do a quick breast check next time I can make it in and also for me to be checked over by the ENT specialist so waiting for that appointment. I would be happier too to see an ENT specialist and get his/her opinion.

I am happy that the blood tests came back normal - am going to try stop poking the lumps and hopefully they will recede so I am fully enjoy being pregnant.

Last year I had myself convinced that I had a brain tumour due to persistent headaches. Eventually had an MRI done which came back clear. After I got the all clear from that, the headaches seemed to go away. Am hoping it will be the same now (I know obviously that a good blood test result does not necessarily mean that there is nothing major going on) but it does comfort me a little and we all have to cling to those little crumbs of comfort sometimes.

Anyway sorry for rambling on and thanks to all who posted

shellie