Obsessed with Speaking

[UFC_fan]

I don't know if this should be in the OCD or Social Anxiety forum rather than health Anxiety but I know that HA is my core problem. I have become obsessed with the way I speak to the point where I am scared to have conversations or speak on the phone, at first I was having to think everything through before I said it which was frustrating but now I'm terrified of messing up words, mispronouncing or moving my mouth too much when I speak, consequently my tongue and roof of mouth is extremely tense making it difficult to articulate. When I say words like "Changes" or "Structure" it sounds mumbled and sometimes I have to have a breath before I attempt certain words.

This is killing confidence and I work in a job where I have to chair important meetings and articulate complex issues, therefore it feels very debilitating. Of course I'm also worried I've MS or ALS which makes it even worse.

I saw a psychiatrist on Monday (Priory), he listened and nodded a lot (for £300) I might add and has suggested CBT which he can do himself or I can choose someone myself. I feel sceptical and am just in a bad place right now, I'm not happy with the citalapram I'm on so I'm switching to Seroxat which I used to take and it worked.

Can anyone relate to my symptoms?

Thanks

[Maj]

Hello,
Yes I would agree that this sounds like an obsession. You've put such a lot of analytical thought into it and built it up out of all proportion - something we all do when highly anxious. I think this can be treated like any other anxiety symptom though. It's a shame you spent £300. It's all about trying to lower your anxiety and saying to yourself that actually your speech is fine - it's your anxiety that's making you think that it's a problem. I know that you can be referred for cbt from your gp but you also have access to it on the internet. Also, have you read Dr. Claire Weeke's books about anxiety symptoms - dealing with panic, anxiety, obsessions, etc. It explains the cycle of anxiety and why we feel like we do and why we can overcome it with acceptance. She has helped so many people. If you take her advice you can't go wrong. Don't despair. You will get over this. And if seroxat helped you before then I don't see why you shouldn't take them for a while again until you feel stronger and can cope on your own.
Myra:hugs:

[UFC_fan]

Thanks for the quick reply, i should say that I'm insured so the £300 didn't come out of my own pocket. I did buy Dr Weekes book and read it a little before Christmas, I need to get back into it since I read this stuff, absorb and then the inner voice takes over again and I find myself back at square one.

I've been exercising like a mad man lately, which does give me a temporary lift but it doesn't seem to last - the irony is that physically I'm in the best shape of my life (at 33) and my diet is pretty good also are things not improving for me!!!:doh:

[Maj]

You are doing the right things taking exercise and looking after your diet because exercise definitely helps to lift the mood. There's no doubt about it. You are struggling with the anxiety thing though! You will never lose your fear of speaking until you lose your fear of anxiety. Honestly, if you read Claire's book and highlight any paragraphs that instantly mean something to you and make you feel better, and read it over and over again and practise what she says: acceptance without tensing yourself up - you will gradually relax and stop worrying about speaking. It can be done. There's no mystery, it's all about stopping being afraid of the symptoms.
Myra:hugs:

[KK77]

Couldn't agree more: till you deal with your anxiety you can't deal with the symptoms of it, which your case is a speaking phobia. I've never read Claire Weekes' books but I understand the general principle of them and have no doubt that it makes sense and can work.

I was on Seroxat for a long time till it stopped working and a few years later my GP tried me on it again. It never helped but we're all different and if citalopram isn't helping enough then I would definitely try other ADs till you find one that can help.

The important thing is not to give up. Once your anxiety levels are effectively controlled you'll realise that the way you speak is perfectly fine. The fact that you also have some HA issues will just fuel your fears about speaking further, so it's all connected - but can be overcome.