i feel so indiferent towards my husband is this part of the depression

[mummygarcia]

i seem to have slipped into some sort of depression (originally had health anxiety) dont know whats brought it on, im thinking perhaps my CBT dragging up a load of negative stuff, or perhaps hormones as im 1st trim preg
anyway, appart from feeling totally numb and with nothing to look forward to, i feel unbelievably indiferent towards my husband and i just dont feel as if we have a future together
this is confusing me as i dont know if this is a true feeling or part of the depression, yes he has let me down big time and i believe this has contributed to my anxiety problems - but he's not a bad man, he just doesnt think sometimes
he has just found out he has inherited a life changing sum of money and is walking around on cloud nine, our money worries should be well and truly over and we should have lots to look forward to - but and i feel awful for saying this, i feel nothing and cant share in his happiness .. he may as well have inherited £5, i just cant get excited about all the things he has planned, a cpl months ago i would have been exctatic (sp?) but i feel absolutely nothing - in fatc i think its brought its own problems, how are we going to invest it, will we spend it in the right way etc
i have a 10 yr old daughter, and although i cant say i feel the same towards her, i have little patience with her at the moment - in fact i feel as if i just want to be left alone, and sometimes its a relief when its bed time for her .. feel awful saying this, but its how i feel
i also feel indiferent about my pg which im wondering is a form of self preservation as i have been bleeding a little, and have also had several mc in the last cpl years
i totally hate feeling this way, i keep trying to tell myself to pull myself together and realise how lucky i am but just cant seem to change this awful black mood - you probably all think im selfish and dont know im born, so many people how far bigger problems but the truth is id give anything to just feel happy and content and to feel something for my husband again instead of this feeling of "nothingness"
the main problem is how i feel about my husband, when he comes home from work - my heart sinks, i just feel so low .. im sure i love him deep down, just feel so numb and indifferent about him on the surface - please someone tell me this is just part of my depression and that i havent fallen out of love with him

[den68]

:bighug1:it really sounds like depression to me. When i had it i just wanted to go somewhere on my own and not be bothered with anyone or anything. Husband children freinds everyone i just coulnt feel anything. You need to see your gp asap as they can help no end. Depression is horrible but you can come out the other end and when you do you appreciate things so much more like i did
I wish you luck and hope you feel better soon
Denise:bighug1:

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Mummygarcia sounds like the depression talking to me. I would avoid making any rash decisions at least at the moment whilst your pregancy is taking time to establish itself. Are you attending an early pregnacy unit or your obstretician who might perhaps give a reason why you are bleeding or reassure you? I dont know how many weeks pregnant you are but I would enlist some support from your midwife/GP at least until you are over this low patch. As far as the money is concerned I would suggest that you both get together with a financial advisor. It might be an idea to set up a trust fund for your daughter and the baby as well. I guess that you will both have bills /debt/ mortguage to pay off before investing some of the money. If you haven't already then it might be an idea to write your wills. I would suggest that you go away for a bit of pampering but it might be an idea to wait until you are beyond the three month mark. I am sure that you will begin to feel better as the pregnancy progresses but it is wise to feel cautious at the moment. I would evaluate your marriage when you are feeling a little better. Now probably isn't a very good time to do it. Best wishes.