View Full Version : Can't Believe It-Back to Square 1.I am so sick of this
I am sick of this. I just don't want to wake up tomorrow.
Hi Smudger, sorry you are feeling so low. Why don't you have a word with your doctor and tell them how bad you are feeling. It's rotten when you feel up one day and down the next. I've felt like this the past two mornings when I've wakened, but I'm putting it down to my age and hormones!! When you say you don't want to waken up then I think you need a bit more help through this. Please see your doctor. A change in meds could be what you need to see you through this.
Myra:hugs:
:bighug1:Sorry your feeling really low hun.Myras right tho .You probably just need to have a fine tuning with your meds to lift you up a bit ..Dont suffer anymore than you have to ,ring and make an urgent appointment with your Dr tommorow .Im sure things will change for you ,but its hard to see that when you feel so bad ...Take care Luv Sue xx:bighug1:
Thank you both of you but I really don't want to be on medication anymore. I genuinely feel I have been forced into it at a time when I am weak. Why do doctors so readily push tablets down my throat. For years I have suffered depression on and off and when I haven't it has been when I have been eating healthy (to the extreme) and my doctor knows this. The trouble is nobody seems to listen and this sort of extreme lifestyle is unsustainable. Nobody tries to find out why this is and I am sick of popping pills. This IS NOT the answer for me. If I could live on fresh fruit, veg, fish and meat I would. But life would be so boring and I LOVE food! I sometimes think I am better off starving myself because I am starting to feel food is my enemy. I just want a doctor to support me on this. My husband said if we have to pay we will (we are not wealthy though) to get tested. I gave blood last week which was a BIG mistake as I started my period 2 days later and I had a massive looney 'episode' at home. The cycle then began of me craving fat and sugar (which many women do on their period) and the mood worsened. All the things that are bad for me. The time before that I couldn't give blood because my iron levels were too low, obviously they must have been okay this time. My husband read last night that even though your iron levels are okay doesn't necessarily mean the iron travels to the brain to help mood because copper carries the iron around the body and if you are low on copper then this can cause depression. NOBODY has investigated this. My family had dietry issues, Mom has IBS, Dad has Coeliacs disease (gluten n wheat iontolerance), My Sister had hyperthyroidism and Coeliacs disease, my other Sister and I have IBS and we are intolerant to wheat, we all constantly suffer with constipation or diarrhoea and we have all had or do suffer with depression (dad, me, my 2 sisters, 1 of my brothers). None of my brothers n sisters (5 of us) have had children naturally either. One brother and one sister had to adopt, 1 sister has never got pregnant either depsite her efforts, and I have had IVF numerous times. Hello, can anybody see a common link here? How load do I have to shout this out before anybody does anything about it?I am SICK TO THE BACK TEETH of being pumped with pills. Something isnt right! I have to go now. I am crying and angry......
Hello Smudger,
I'm really sorry you feel so bad - I feel for you. I don't really know what to say other than it seems pointless taking meds if they aren't doing one bit of good. There also seems to be an element of eating disorder and this is very common with anxiety and depression. It's as though it's either all or nothing for you - you have to go to the extreme with your food by having a strict diet, rather than eating different things, little and often. I know that if I manage to eat well for a while and exercise then I feel better about myself. When I don't I feel quite low. I can binge eat when I feel anxious and then feel really guilty about it afterwards. Trying to keep on an even keel would make such a difference. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say to you but it still seems like psychological symptoms and it's all about doing things healthily and not to extremes. I think that if you ditched the pills, tried self help, diet, exercise, etc. then you'd start feeling better.
Myra:hugs:
Myra, my husband would say you have me sussed! I have never thought of myself as having a sort of eating disorder, that really shocks me. I AM all or nothing, you are SO right. This describes everything about me, the same goes with exercise. My husband has said this SO many times. When I eat healthy I keep a diary and I won't allow even one piece of chocolate because I can't cope with it! If somebody offers me a crisp I refuse, not because I do not want one but because I can't handle only one. If I have one I would get the taste for it and it would play on my mind until I would end up going to the shop and buying a packet or two! If I ate 1 extra food to that planned for the day, the whole week would be ruined for me and I would end up binging!Gosh, IS this a disorder? My relationship with food isn't good I must admit, it is a source of constant worry. I do genuinely think I am missing a vitamin or mineral though and I am keen to investigate this (my hubby and I are seeing the doc on Wednesday). I do have a strange craving for mud (don't laugh). This started when I was pregnant 9 years ago and has never left me. Even as a child I used to sneak into the coal house to smell the coal. I would have eaten it if I didn't know better! Whether it is psychological or physical, certain foods give me raging diarrhoea and cause me tiredness, irritability and depression. I'm seeing my GP on Wednesdsay (I have lost faith in the GP who has prescribed me my medication recently). I don't believe medication is the answer for me!
Ive heard about the craving for coal before Smudger .Coal and Mud cravings are the bodys way to get more Iron into the blood. .Sugary foods apart from natural sugars you get in fruit ,will make you tired .You will get a rise in blood sugar but afterwards it can cause drowsiness ..Wheat is another food you may be intolerant to .it can aggravate the bowel in a lot of people ,especially if there is a history of Bowel complaints including IBS .In IBS it can infact cause spasms which can become responsible for Diarrhoea,. Also Bran .Substitutes like Oats are gentler on the gut .It might be worth eliminating these foods to see how different you feel .I had to do this when I had a very bad bout of IBS .Dairy might be another source of intolerance .All the best Sue xx
Hi suzy-sue. Everything you have said I have done. I eat chocolate and it puts me to sleep and makes me depressed, natural sugars in fruit doesn't do that to me. Bread and anything with wheat in it gives me stomach bloating and pain and diarrhoea. If I eat porridge instead of toast for breakfast I do not get these symptoms either. Fresh cream, that is a real killer for me! It goes straight through me! Whippy ice cream OMG!I am so sensitive to these foods and sometimes I can cut them out for a while completely and I feel fab but I crave them eventually and end up ill again. If I go to an event where there is buffet food, sausage rolls, sandwiches,vol u vents, sausages, gateaux, trifle, etc etc I know that evening and the next day I am going to suffer but I eat it AND OVEREAT it anyway because I can't control myself. Sometimes I say to myself "tomorrow I am going to eat nothing and then I won't get ill" but I never do, I am just too hungry. I am a classic yo yo dieter but when I am dieting STRICTLY I never suffer with depression. I just can't sustain it though. It is such a vicious circle I am at a loss what to do!Pills r not the answer.
Not a good day 2day. So low n I could just cry all the time. Ill be glad when I have had this blood test on Wednesday so I can start cutting out the foods again that I'm convinced affect my depression, this being regardless of the results. Til then I have to eat them. I almost want to have coeliacs disease so that I can do something other than take medication to feel better. My Sister and Dad are praying I don't have it because they both miss so many foods they can no longer eat. I just want a reason for all this even if it means coeliac disease. I am sorry to all you coeliac sufferers out there but I am prepared to change my diet and feel happy than suffer this depression any longer.........I just can't bear this rollercoaster of emotions.:unsure:
Smudger just want to say firstly i'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I just wondered, from my own experience if you have had your thyroid checked? I have autoimmune thyroid disease and the fact that autoimmune conditions run in your family I hope they have tested you? You said at one point your iron was low - common with underactive thyroid, so is depression, so is constipation and diarrohea. People have no idea how bad thyroid conditions can make you feel and the fact you are craving food says to me that it could be hormone related. I just wanted to suggest this as I have struggled for a while with feeling awful and having no answers as to why..then last month found out I have hashimotos thyroiditis which leads to underactive thyroid.
In any case, best wishes and hope you feel better soon.xxxx
Thank you for that Kirst24. Thats interesting but I am sorry you have thyroid problems. My Dad has coeliacs, and one of my sisters has coeliacs AND an underactive thyroid strangely enough (poor thing has suffered so the last 2 years!) To answer your question my thyroid is being checked on Wednesday too as well as the usual iron etc. I wouldn't be surprised if I test positive in something bearing in mind my family history as you say. Trouble is, if everything is fine I will be distraught because I need a cause. Its just not good enough for me to have no explanation and to keep on taking an anti depressant. My two sisters and I all have unexplained infertility too. I know thyroid and coeliac can cause this as well as many other conditions. If my test is negative I don't know where I go from there! The doc did say she would probably still biopsy my stomach coz of family history. Ill do anything if I can get a reason, no matter how intrusive or painful it is. I want my life back.
bellabessnjet
16-02-10, 12:11
Hi smudger,
Sorry your so low, hope the doctors can help you tomorrow. Sounds like you've got a really good and understanding husband too.
I've always wondered if I have a hormone inbalance. Dont know if you watch loose women, but I saw an episode where Denise Walsh? talked about her depression and that in the end she saw (privately of course) a specialist and was diagnosed with a hormone problem. since then shes been a lot better. trouble is for some reason I feel embarressed about seeing a doctor about this. I would say that since my son (7) my entire body and cycle have totally changed.
anyway good luck and hope you feel better soon.
Angela x:hugs:
bellabessnjet yes I saw that on Loose Women too! Its worth investigating. I suppose gp is the first port of call?Let u know if you get anywhere! What was the remedy for Denise Walch, I can't remember?
bellabessnjet
16-02-10, 22:40
Sorry can't really remember, I think it was testostarone, I know that sounds strange being a mostly male hormone but I remember thinking how strange!
bellabessnjet
16-02-10, 22:52
Just looked it up on web ignore above post, I think its oestrogen. The Doctor she saw was professor John Studd he hs his own website, Only quickly googled Denise Walch and loads about PND, depression in middle aged women, and hormones cam up. (Dont think I like the 'middle aged bit !!! lol) Hope that helps and please let me know how you get on.
Good luck
Angela x
Thanks bellabessnjet. Ill see what happens after my blood test once I have the results. Hormones do interest me because I had IVF 4 times which really interfears with hormones. My depression noticably worsened since having my daughter 9 yrs ago but most women go through hormonal changes from pregnancy anyway. Maybe Im grasping at straws! One step at a time I guess. Ill google Denise Walch's experience anyway. Thanks.
Blood tests back today. Only had test yesterday! All okay except iron is low again so back on iron tablets, again. Constipation here I come! I suppose I should be glad I don't have a thyroid problem or coeliacs disease like Dad and Sister but I feel out on a limb. I want to know WHY I get so depressed and I AM NOT happy just popping pills and feeling shit! When will this end..............I can feel my mood dropping as I type.I am so unhappy. I am still going to start my healthy eating and exercise again on Monday and taper my tablets. Lets see what happens.Husbands having a new car in a few weeks time, we are going away on holiday abroad soon and he has an interview for another job near the south coast although hes quite happy in the job he has...how do I feel? I couldn't care less about any of it. Its all nothing to me. I just want to fade away without anybody noticing but I know they would. How terrible am I thinking like this? I know I am and I know why I do. Its because I am depressed. But why the hell am I?I just can't seem to shake this feeling off. What is the point in life . We all die anyway. Why do we strive for the most, the best when all thats gonna happen is that one day we are going to die and people we leave behind are going to be sad. What is the point in anything?I just can't get past this question. I often wish sometimes I had never been born because everything is so hard. Life just seems so pointless. Its just a vicious cycle. A program that replays over and over again. I am sorry everybody, I guess I was relying so much on my blood test giving me a definitive answer and it hasn't. I knew I would react like this.
bellabessnjet
18-02-10, 22:56
Hi Smudger,
I know exactly where your coming from, in fact you could me me, most people are going to be really peed of with this but, I started with back pain just over 15years ago after a slip in th snow, then a few months later a door fell on my back! I had so many tests, scans MRI's lumbar punctare, head scan and things stuck on there to check brain waves, spent the day before my 21st party stuck in hospital. I just wanted one of these tests to show something, at one stage I wished for a lump just to show me and others there was a reason for all the pain. NONE. Even now when having check ups, I just want something to show up, I know it sounds bad and selfish but when you feel so much pain you want a physical reason.
I wish you all the best, dont put to much pressure on yourself to feel anything, I was advised just to except your thoughts dont keep wondering (in my case) somethong going to happen, just except it as a thought. Easier said then done but hope it makes sense.
angela xx:hugs:
I hear what you are saying bellabessnjet but I am not ready to accept it just yet. I have started a new thread based in iron deficiency being a cause for clinical depression. My husband did some research and came up with some really interesting articles. I'm picking up my iron prescription today and I am hoping this will be an answer. Fingers crossed!........
bellabessnjet
19-02-10, 22:13
Hi,
Please can you let me know how you get on with the iron? I'll give anything a try! All the very best.
angela
bellabessnjet ofcourse Ill let you know. I am going to keep a diary starting tonight on a new thread of how Im feeling on iron combined with extra vitamins and weaning myself off my medication for depression. Fingers crossed!
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