If people in your family are anxious...

[desperate]

Then if you can recognise it, how do you stop yourself getting caught up in it?

I ask because I'm going out in an hour was feeling ok about it, wanted to go as didn't want to miss out. My parents are having a few people over tonight for a curry, no more, no less!

But my mum, jeez, you can see her getting more worked up about things and then a bit more and then more, snapping about where a chair is, napkins, stupid little things.

Now i can identify it but I find it hard not to pick up on it and for it to crank up my anxiety, so now i'm sitting upstairs, I had to take myself away as much as i wanted to help, feeling very anxious and a bit horrible tbh.

I just don't know how to not pick up on it though?

Anyone else have that problem?

Sarah

[Piglet]

It depends on how I am feeling at the time.

Sometimes it would be able to wind me up and other times it makes me stop focusing on me and want to help that person.

Tricky.

Anyway mate do have a lovely evening.

love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Tomimo]

That' a toughie :)

People don't usually get funny around me, I'm not sure whether it's becuase they think I might cry or something.

I guess if my mum were getting antsy about getting ready then I would help her to distract myself.

Hope it went ok.

Anniex

[LisaS]

hi Sarah,

hope curry night went ok! My mum is also more a highly strung person and since i've been suffering I really notice it now. I think this is great though as now i know to distance myself from it and I can see it for what it is.
It also has made me realise why I am like I am! now you can see it, you can concentrate on working through it yourself.

Lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[Dusty]

Hi!

I think you did the right thing. Remove yourself from the situation.

My mum gets wound up easily but she doesn't seem to realise it. She starts getting "snappy" and makes pretty nasty remarks at the rest of my family, especially my poor dad.

Can I just say this doesn't happen often and my parents do have a very loving relationship. (Hope my marriage is as good when I've been married nearly 40 years).

However I found events spoilt for me when she starts behaving this way. We went out for a chinese meal on my birthday in Decemeber and she had a go at us because she felt she was not being included in chosing the food. I can't remember what she said but the reult was me hurrying out to the Ladies and having to breathe very deeply to stop myself crying. If I do cry it would only have been worse all round.

Anyway, by removing myself from the situation, I was able to control myself and by the time I returned my hubby (who is a wonderful people manager) had smoothed the whole thing over and my mum didn't suspect a thing about my near-tear experience.

You are not alone Sarah. And because it is family I think it can make it even worse.

Dusty. xx

[desperate]

Thanks for all your replies.

I need to find an understanding partner i think, he'd have to be brave to take me on though!

I do try and not get stressed out by my family but sometimes it's so difficult. I actually find myself sometimes slumping when they get home from work...

It's hard knowing what to do though, atm i feel too 'ill' to work so then feel i am kinda 'stuck' really. :S

Sarah

[Dusty]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I need to find an understanding partner i think, he'd have to be brave to take me on though!</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Having someone to talk to is a great plus side of having an understanding partner, but right now I'm suffering the minus side: Both of us have been sleeping poorly, but he's the one who can lie down and fall asleep easily. I on the other hand, have to sit, watch and neither panic, nor have someone to talk to!!

Hurrah for No More Panic!! We always have someone who will listen!

Dusty xx