Need some advice why cant i break my worry cycle :(

[meg86]

Hello :)

I really hope someone will be able to offer me some advice, i am stuck in a worry circle and i just cant seem to find my way out. Its always something!! i have been obsessed about breast cancer the past 4 months before that it was something else, and now i am no longer worried about breast cancer my mind feels crazy.

I can see my mind looking for something else to replace the "worry gap" i have been trying not to let it, i am using my CBT tools and it doesnt matter how irratonal i know these thoughts are, they are still making me feel very distressed and upset.

I have a stupid irrational fear right now of getting tinnitus (contant ringing in ear) i know very well i dont have this, every now and again everyone gets the odd ring, but now i am actually trying to hear something, i can hear a faint ring but i think most people can if they try hard enough and i know for a fact if i was worrying over something else it wouldnt bother me at all!! Its just my mind trying to fixate itself on to something, i am aware of this and know how bizzare this is!! Tinnitus isnt even dangerous i am just scared of getting it and it driving me insane and making my anxiety worse.

I am kicking myself because i know i am smarter than this, i know that i just need to ignore it and eventually i wont notice it but i feel so sick to my stomach its making it near impossible.

I am not seeking reasurance as i know this is irrational, i just need a way to control my self better when these thoughts take hold.

At this rate i feel like i will never get better :weep:

Does anyone have any tips and good advice on how i can overcome this???

Thanks for taking the time to read this x

[Vanilla Sky]

You said it and thats it in a nutshell " its just my mind trying to fixate on something "
You do need to replace this with everything you learned at CBT, it's like anything as you have seen with the negetive thinking, the more you do it , the easier it becomes. The trick is giving yourself TIME to change. You know that you can easily get into this negetive way so now you have to start slowly changing this pattern to positive.
It CAN be done but it's not going to happen overnight , do little things each day and you should be able to turn it around
Good Luck
Paige x:)

[Bill]

DON'T try to control worries because when we try to control anxiety, we tense up because the worries frighten us. In other words, controlling them can mean trying to resist them or block them out by trying to control our thoughts and behaviour.

In the same way, if we try to control irrational thoughts, the thoughts will keep coming back because they know they can frighten us. Our fear of them makes us tense up because we're trying to control ourselves to stop thinking them.

Worries and irrational thoughts are best "ignored". Don't try to control them and don't try to resist them. Allow yourself to think them but DON'T dwell on them. Let them go like a gust of wind.

Also though, the best way to "ignore" them is by intruducing interests. Take up a variety of hobbies that you really enjoy so that you have various interests to keep your mind busy. As soon as you get a worry, immediately turn your mind to one of these interests and it'll break the cycle before it gets started. Whatever you do, DON'T sit or lay down and just "think" because the cycle will Always trap you.:hugs:

[lisa75]

Bill, you have hit the nail on the head with your reply.
I have finally just realised that the more we fight our anxiety, worries, horrid irrational thoughts that pop into our head, the stronger they all become. It is very difficult to accept them for what they are at first, but once we do we are on the right road. It isnt easy....i am still struggling at times, but your advice is spot on....thanks x

[Pixie_girl]

I know how you feel. I sadly don't know how to fix it but I find my worry kicks off when I am most happy, as if I am worried that because I am happy something will go wrong. I also find laying the bath sets my brain off on overdrive, I worry about some really stupid stuff which I know is silly but it only stops when I get distracted by something else.

[MathewAnxiety]

You're trying to control your worries, but you should focus on trying to let it go. I've had panic attacks for 2 years and my mom told me to not worry. I know it is hard to do but you can try to change your though pattern first, reflect on earlier situations that there was nothing wrong. Or when you are watching TV or something. You didn't panic and were allright, but this sitiuation is actually no different.

wish you all the best

[meg86]

Thank you for the tips guys! i do feel at constant battle with myself, and i guess i am fighting it away! i am just going to try and be for a while, i understand what you guys are saying and i know it makes sense. Theres a part of me that wants to fight and says " dont give up you can do this try harder" but i guess i just need to be anxious, let the thoughts flow in and flow out, use distraction and just wait patiently...

I have taken up some hobbies such as arts and crafts and photography, i need to probably get engrossed in that.

Thanks everyone xxx

[Bill]

Meg,

I think those ideas will really help you if you persevere and can push yourself to get engrossed in those hobbies etc. We all need something to occupy our minds without becoming over-stressed so that our minds then focus on things we want to do and look forward to rather than on worries.

Just another couple of thoughts based on the above and what Pixie has said....

I also find laying the bath sets my brain off on overdrive, I worry about some really stupid stuff which I know is silly but it only stops when I get distracted by something else.

I find extremes will cause anxiety. We need to try and maintain a happy medium. What I mean is that boredom will trigger anxious thoughts but so too will too much stress if we've Too much to do. That's why worries will often surface when we're in the bath because there's nothing to really occupy our minds. However, if we're in the bath but we're in a rush because we've got to go out, this excess stress could also then trigger anxious thoughts.

I've often found that when I'm sitting wating to just relax, I must have something going on to occupy my mind. I used to Hate sitting at tables havingg meals in total silence because I would become very self-conscious or start listening to everyone munching etc! I find that if I have music on in the background, I can then train my mind into that music. In the bath, maybe music would help there too but also listening to meditation and relaxation techniques would also help. I can remember listening to a tape that had the sound of the waves hitting the shore with a voice telling me to focus on different muscles to get them relaxed. I found I virtually fell asleep because it totally relaxed me. Also I've found that once you've learnt the techniques, you can then do them for yourself in bored or stressful situations.

I find my worry kicks off when I am most happy, as if I am worried that because I am happy something will go wrong.

The above is based on a "fear of losing". The more we have that we feel we stand to lose, the more we fear losing it because we're trying to "control" what we have. I've found the best way is to just accept what we do have by Enjoying it while it lasts and let what will be..be. That way the happy feeling continues longer because we stop worrying about when it will end.:hugs:

[mikewales]

Similar to what Bill suggests - I find when I am feeling anxious it is often when I am idle and my brain has too much time to think about things, and thats when the irrational thoughts come.

For me, doing something to occupy my brain helps - I often do crosswords or puzzles, something that I have to concentrate on to divert my brain in another direction, but also going out for a walk, doing some gardening etc... helps

Also I find silence can make it worse if I'm at home, so will often just put on the BBC News channel on the TV in the background or Classic FM on the radio - just something that is a fairly constant noise without too much dynamics.