finding it really hard

[c700]

Hi im back after nearly a year of been HA free it is back big style!
I have had HA since i was about 12 im 31 now and it comes and goes. I have been seeing a CBT theapist since last jan and he always makes me feel better but due to me paying private i cant go as much as i woul like. Since 5 th Jan i had a really bad panic attack on a plane coming back from a xmas break i thought i was having a stroke. Since then i have been really worried about having a brain tumour i have had headaches, felt sick, back pain and muscles pain, stomach ache and needing to go to the toilet bowels. I went to the docs last week first time in a year as well! She examined me and said i was fine it was sinus probelms.
I am back to the stage where i feel i cant cope with been on my own and everytime my husband goes out i am so scared that i might die. I am also worried that i am losing weight i weighed myself 5 times before i came to work this morning thinking i have unexplained weightloss. I am also going to new york next week and really worried i am going to ruin for my husband as he finds it really hard to deal with.
How can i get through this please help. :blush:

[Hazel1]

Hi there, I am new to this. I know how you feel you just become totally consumed with worry and one thing spirals into another and its hard to escape.

I know its hard but the doctor has examined you so I'm sure you are fine and are absolutely not going to die.

Maybe a break to NY is just what you need and you will be too busy enjoying yourself to worry. My huband cant deal with it either - he says I am going to die but it will be of stress and nothing else :)

[i love tea]

Hi c700, I just wanted to reply and give you a hug :hugs: because your post could easily have been written by me - I'm 31 now, too, and have had bouts of HA since I was little. I've been to the doctors recently scared to death, but have been reassured once again that I'm fine...

I am having a CBT interview (next week) which will be through the NHS and my employer has also offered me counselling, which I've accepted - I think the CBT will help my negative thought patterns but I hope the counselling will help me understand why I am so anxious about my health. Do you have any idea why your HA may have started? My mum has had bad health for many years - and has had so many different illnesses - that I think I'm just waiting for the same thing to happen to me in some ways. The doctor also said that going through long periods of stress - while you cope at the time - the stress has to 'show itself' in some form or another. In my case, anxiety.

Anyway, I'm rambling and probably not being all that helpful, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I hate HA because it seems to suck the joy out of life... I hope you can begin to trust the doctor that you're OK and that you can enjoy New York. I'm so jealous!! Have you tried any herbal remedies at all - I find the Bach Rescue remedies really helpful...

Take care hon :flowers:

[c700]

Thanks i love t! I have also had councilling in the past and found out why i feel like this - had alot of people related to me poorly and some pass away when i was young i also visted alot of people in hospital which was really scary. The CBT has doen good but i am just finding it hard to change my mind set at the minute. Hope i can manage to enjoy new york as i thought i was going to die walking into the town centre yesterday! When i went to the docs last week as well i was seen by my reg doc and a student examined me so i keep thinking maybe they dont know what they are looking for etc. We dont believe them do we!!!!
Also what is classed at unexplained weight loss i have lost a pound and im not sure why but is the crazy?????
Clare xx

[i love tea]

Hey Clare, I know what you mean about believing the docs, but if I was a student, I would want to make really really sure I hadn't missed anything, so maybe it should be even more reassuring that they didn't find anything?!

I'm not an expert but I'm sure that losing a pound isn't classed as unexplained weight loss. When we're really anxious and the adrenaline's pumping, I think we get through the calories we eat much faster, so I'm sure that you could lose a little weight without meaning to... When I'm feeling anxious, I sometimes find it hard to eat, too.

You will be OK - look after yourself x x

[jenza20]

Bless ya - I am exactly the same! On/off HA, fear of being alone when HA kicks in (just in case I die), check weight constantly for fear of unexplained weight loss (again, when my HA kicks in), and you would think after years of doing this I would accept that I suffer from Health Anxiety and all the symptoms are part of it! But I don't!! Losing the odd pound is completely ok and by the way, anxiety increases the metabolism anyway so could have something to do with it), and unexplained weight loss if dangerous is a LOT of weight, not just a small amount and if it was related to a severe illness you probably wouldn't even have the strength to write this post!! I just want you to know you are not the only one having these symptoms - it bloomin' horrible and frightening but it IS anxiety related and like me, coming on here for that reassurance occasionally does improve things!! Take care xx