taf
01-01-06, 01:06
Sounds small, except to you all whom I am sure will understand! Today, hubby asked me to go to eat out at a restaurant, which I have been avoiding since I had the nasty swallowing thing pop up in Sept of this year...and now know it is nothing more than a side of panic since researching this very helpful site. Well...I put my makeup on, and popped out to the restaurant, and the kiddies stayed with a sitter. I did it! I felt "swallowy" once, but simply put my fork down, and thought of something else, forcing myself to stay put and divert! Last week, I went to a very large family holiday party with steak dinner (interesting for someone with the swallowing fiasco), and found there was no where to sit and "hide out" in a corner...the only seat left was perched HIGH a top a counter bar stool in the midst of 7 little nieces, nephews, inlaws, etc. I forced myself again to sit there in the bright lights and socialize. Wow...seems small to most, but I feel like I climbed some mountains this week. AND all without valium, or alprazolam....My goodness. Now, I notice I still panic when I start to feel anything different with myself, and I have found I am what one would call a "catastrophizer", and I did not think I was such a person. This site has been such a colosal help! I can see things for what they are now after researching here, and I am gaining so much more self confidence!
Also noticed something interesting. I actually went through stages of what I might call "grief" when I faced the fact I had panic/anxiety...part of the healing process I suppose. [:O]Elizabeth Kubler Ross, an author, outlined the stages of grief experienced when one loses something, and is healing. Denial, anger, depression, acceptance. I had real anger and snappiness, and did not even realize. I also had complete denial at first ..."swallowing can't be part of panic...etc." I am getting towards acceptance! Thanks again for this site! It is indeed a journey, and we all need each other's good insights to help us along the bumps in the road to healing.
xxoo, and HAPPY new year!!!!1 Love, and Thanks, Taf:D
Also noticed something interesting. I actually went through stages of what I might call "grief" when I faced the fact I had panic/anxiety...part of the healing process I suppose. [:O]Elizabeth Kubler Ross, an author, outlined the stages of grief experienced when one loses something, and is healing. Denial, anger, depression, acceptance. I had real anger and snappiness, and did not even realize. I also had complete denial at first ..."swallowing can't be part of panic...etc." I am getting towards acceptance! Thanks again for this site! It is indeed a journey, and we all need each other's good insights to help us along the bumps in the road to healing.
xxoo, and HAPPY new year!!!!1 Love, and Thanks, Taf:D