ConstantFear
10-02-10, 05:35
I know this may sound very weird to most, if not all, of you. I don't seem to suffer from a constant fear of getting certain diseases or illnesses. I am, however, always in constant fear and anxiety about certain physical pain that may be worse than it really is.
For instance, if I get a normal bump on the head, I'm convinced that I must be internally bleeding and that I'll die if I go to sleep. I also consistently fear sharp objects because I'm always convinced that one of them will somehow hit me right in the eye and damage my vision. This is why I don't like talking close up to people who hold pens in their hands. I get so tense and start moving away while having a conversation and the other party gets so confused about why I'm being so weird, and I know the last thing that's on their mind is that it is the pen that's causing it. It gets weirder...
I also have this irrational fear where if something or someone gets close to hitting me but doesn't actually hit me, my brain will still convince me that I've been hit. An example of this is when I was helping out a friend when he was building something and he asked me to get the hammer for him. I went to look for it on a shelf and when I tapped it, it came crashing down, missing the top of my head by a few inches. The rest of the day, I DON'T keep wondering what would have happened had I been standing there and gotten hit; I actually convince myself that I was hit, maybe barely, but hit nonetheless, and that I suffered a concussion, brain damage, internal bleeding, or something to that effect.
I know these are all irrational and I consider myself a pretty big skeptic to other things in life. But I just can't get my mind off of this. The reason I finally cracked in making this post is because I was lifting my laptop above my head just now and slipped and it hit me right on the top of the head. Now I'm getting worried that I've suffered a skull fracture or something that I don't know now, but it'll be too late to take care of when I can.
Wow, I know this is so ridiculous, but it's the truth. These thoughts have been haunting me for about a year now, but I always thought that I would eventually get over it and that it's just a phase. I'm not so sure, anymore.
Please help.
For instance, if I get a normal bump on the head, I'm convinced that I must be internally bleeding and that I'll die if I go to sleep. I also consistently fear sharp objects because I'm always convinced that one of them will somehow hit me right in the eye and damage my vision. This is why I don't like talking close up to people who hold pens in their hands. I get so tense and start moving away while having a conversation and the other party gets so confused about why I'm being so weird, and I know the last thing that's on their mind is that it is the pen that's causing it. It gets weirder...
I also have this irrational fear where if something or someone gets close to hitting me but doesn't actually hit me, my brain will still convince me that I've been hit. An example of this is when I was helping out a friend when he was building something and he asked me to get the hammer for him. I went to look for it on a shelf and when I tapped it, it came crashing down, missing the top of my head by a few inches. The rest of the day, I DON'T keep wondering what would have happened had I been standing there and gotten hit; I actually convince myself that I was hit, maybe barely, but hit nonetheless, and that I suffered a concussion, brain damage, internal bleeding, or something to that effect.
I know these are all irrational and I consider myself a pretty big skeptic to other things in life. But I just can't get my mind off of this. The reason I finally cracked in making this post is because I was lifting my laptop above my head just now and slipped and it hit me right on the top of the head. Now I'm getting worried that I've suffered a skull fracture or something that I don't know now, but it'll be too late to take care of when I can.
Wow, I know this is so ridiculous, but it's the truth. These thoughts have been haunting me for about a year now, but I always thought that I would eventually get over it and that it's just a phase. I'm not so sure, anymore.
Please help.