View Full Version : Help please
I have two questions and it might sound really out there but its really important to me. I seem to be avoiding more things now then ever. Im perfectly content just sitting at home not talking to anyone - in front of the television. I notice that my DP/DR gets worse when im talking to others or with people. The panic attack I had on thursday actually started because of that reason. Now I dont want to talk or be around anyone. Im actually scared and fear being around people and talking to them. Ive got it stuck in my head that its going to make my anxiety and DP worse being around people. Caused me to have some anxiety today. Had a bit of a freak out but didnt let myself go to full panic. Im frightened im going down a bad path. How can I get better and recover if I cant stand being around people or talking to them. It is my latest obsessive thought. Wondering if I have social phobia now, or if im going to become housebound becuase I dont want to be around anyone or drive anywhere. It may be because I read about it happening to someone else. 7 weeks ago I was petrified to be alone and now its the only time im relaxed
1.) So after such a long rant my question is........have others gone through a phase such as this and is it OK if I just want to take sometime and be alone???
2.) I havent had many actual full blown feelings of DP/DR since the first time and in my therapist office. But, I am constantly fearing it happening. Could I be confusing the two? Could I just be in a constant fear of it and not actually be having it?
Thank you guys so much! Im sure I sound like a broken record, but im just scared and you guys are the only people I feel comfortable really saying these things to!!!! Happy New Year Chrissy[:I]
ItWillPass
02-01-06, 03:27
I certainly have gone through phases like this. I think that all the forms of anxiety sort of run together... so its not like you now have social anxiety... you have anxiety... and it seems to be affecting you socially now. I got through this phase by just forcing myself to talk to people. I would walk up to strangers and talk, just to prove to myself that I was okay. I know it is hard... trust me, i know. So, to answer your question it for sure is okay to spend some time alone, but you need to be careful. If you avoid people too much it will just get worse.
"I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, never settle for the path of least resistance... When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance"
"This too shall pass..."
I think when suffereing from anxiety you can have aspects from all the types of anxiety popping in and it's certainly not unusual to want to avoid the situations that you are scared of.
If I were you I would try and make myself go out becuase by letting the behaviour stop you you are making it worse and making it more of an issue.
Once you start seeing people and you get through it you will find that you can cope and be less secared of it.
I hope it passes soon.
Annie x
Thank you guys.....I will try very hard to at least see one person a day. Im still so scared!!! Woke up today obsessing about it again. I dont want to be afraid of people - what a terrible life that would be. How do I let it go??? Meg do you have any words on this???
Chrissy
By avoiding you are making things worse for yourself in the long term. Even if seeing people initially makes your anxiety worse challenging these and changing how you view your fears is the only way forward.
Do it slowly and gently and in stepped careful increments so its not too overwhelming for you.
You are getting into a fear of the fear cycle and that is where agoroaphobia and further isolation lie.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Thanks Meg,
I went and got my hair cut today. It was very hard and I had built up anxiety before I even walked in the door. I started to feel as if I was going to panic a couple of times while I was sitting in the waiting room. My mind was racing and I couldnt concentrate, so I started to read my book. Before I knew it I was in the shampoo bowl, then I was getting my hair cut and talking to the girls, then I was filling out an application to work there. I am a hairdresser by trade, so I think maybe getting into the salon for a day or two a week for a few hours would be a good idea. I applied for receptionist for the time being and then maybe I can work my way up to my own chair??? When I left there I went to my own apartment(been staying at my moms for 4 weeks) and stayed there for two hours with my cats. Watched TV and did some cleaning. I actually feel OK right now and not as detached as I had thought I would. It is my hopes that if I can do something like this each day I will start to feel better. Thank you guys soooo much if I could hug each of you I would! We may never meet but all of you are playing a very important role in my life right now. Even though I did something today I could still use alot of encouragement and any advice is always welcome!!!!
nomorepanic
02-01-06, 21:36
Wow well done.
Going for a haircut and applying for a job - how great is that. Let us know how it goes ok?
So pleased you felt a bit better after doing all that.
Nicola
Thanks Nic,
Ok this may sound really weird but now that I did it and im back home im really restless! Its like I dont want to just sit and watch TV now in my PJ's.....I want to be doing stuff and I have nothing to do. Its almost as if im scared now that I wont have things to do and im afraid the restlessness will turn into more anxiety. Is that a normal feeling to have? Its like I had a taste of what I used to be like and now I dont know how to react to it and what to do with myself? Thanks everyone
superfran23
02-01-06, 23:57
what an amazing step!!! i am beaming with joy for you.
fingers crossed for the job - let us know what happens.
maybe getting your haircut was a relief in someway as being a hairdresser yourself your subconcious beat the anxiety as it felt comfortable. or i could be talking alot of waffle,
but hey well done, we are all behind you.
((big hug))
Thanks Fran! I will for sure let you all know what happens! Like I said Im feeling a bit strange now and I hope thats normal? Do alot of people who are starting to recover go up and down with emotion?
Yes totally.
Too early in am to dig out links lol but do have some - but Hey - well done
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Well I went to a friends house today for the first time to drop off some candles she bought from me. I was anxious to go - but I did it! While I was in her kitchen talking to her I started getting VERY anxious and detached. I stuck through it, but it just further makes my case that when im around people I get that feeling. Now, maybe it was just the anticipation of it that made me feel it......but how do I know the difference? Makes me not want to go out and that makes me VERY sad!!! What do I do?
rockweasel
03-01-06, 22:08
Dagogirl,
Its seems ironic but I get the opposite feelings to you. Its mainly when I am on my own that I feel anxious or panicky. I quite often stay at a freinds house when my partner works way but I going to try and make myself stay in alone and deal with this. Thats why I have found this site so great because I don't feel so alone. Hope you feel better soon.
I used to be that way rockweasel, I hated being alone always staying with someone. To be honest I guess I still am.....I have my own apartment but Ive been staying with my mom for about 4 weeks. I hate to say it but I believe the power of suggestion has gotten to me. I just keep thinking that my DP/DR will get worse in the face of others. Didnt used to be the case for me, but it is now. So, if anyone has any suggestions on the positive side to dispute how I feel that would be great!
hi chrissy,
yes do start disputing your thought process.
directly- when you catch yourself thinking that the dp/dr will get worst in the face of others, dismiss it, tell yourself its how your anxiety is making you feel, as you continue to recover, it wont be an issue.
emotionally - keep your thoughts positive, reassure yourself, comfort yourself.
intellectually (bare with the spelling) - if you do stay away from ppl, those feelings will deepen not disappear.
from the outside looking in - you are doing brilliantly, you know certain situations will make you anxious but you still get on and make yourself do them - there isnt another way to beat anxiety. now learn how to be as positive with your thought processes - it does take as long as it takes - be patient with yourself and keep trying.
you take care .. andrew
Thank you both sooo much - you both made alot of sense! I do have a question that bothered me all morning....why does it appear that over the last 7 weeks since this last episode started have I gotten "worse." Ive been on meds for two weeks, started therapy and yet Ive avoided more this last week then I did when it first started???
Meds can exacerbate the problem greatly while you're settling onto them.
Therapy makes you focus on the nitty gritty issues rather than push them out so makes it all appear in brighter techni colour. By focusing on it as a whole , it can appear even scarier so makes you want to avoid more.
BY challenging each situation and doing the exercises Nigel suggested , it will downgrade the worry and fear.
Power of suggestion is very strong.
Avoidance or sensible? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5513)
media (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5609)
illogical fear driving me mad! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6027)
Its happening again ! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6094)
Its happening again ! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6094)
Feeling lonely (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6820)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Thanks Meg,
Yes I have heard that about the meds, it will be 3 whole weeks on Monday and im wondering how long before I settle in? Everyone keeps saying to hang in there and the meds will do their magic but everyday seems like a lifetime. This may sound silly but I have been doing alot of reading on the illness as my therpapist suggested and Ive read a ton on people who cant leave their houses and I wonder if that is making it worse for me to go out? Also, as I have read about other peoples experiences with depersonalization it has been ingrained in my head. Could that be contributing to my obsessions and its sticking around? For example I read about others having a hard time looking at people "because they looked like aliens" and that thought and image keeps going through my mind. Also I have my 2nd therapy session 2morrow and I want to know if you or anyone has suggestions as to what are some things I could share with her or ask her to help the process go faster? Ok had to edit this reply - just had a breakthrough while typing no the meds board. I remember reading an article about ssris causeing depersonalization and now everytime I take my meds that thoght and image go through my mind. Not sure if that means anything but might have some relevance???
hi chrissy,
good luck with your therapy tomorrow. ppl say the more you put in, the more you get out - just try and be open and honest, talk about whats on your mind. if there is something you want to talk about, write it down to use as a reminder for yourself, its hard to remember what to say if your anxious talking about yourself.
if you are finding yourself being distracted and adopting negative viewpoints, give yourself a break and stop reading for a while. we always seem to be attracted to the worst case senario and remember it with too much clarity.
you take care .. andrew
Thanks Andrew writing things down is a great idea! OK so I have to tell you guys something.....I went to a support group meeting 2nite for people with anxiety and I got through the WHOLE meeting without anxiety. I had the depersonalization a couple of times but I didnt let it bother me, I just stuck it out! I drove their and back with my Dad as passanger! Im feeling really OK right now, I hope it lasts!!!! I really think 2morrow morning is gonna be a better morning!!!!!
Good for you
Do recognise just how powerful ' suggestion' can be and you can turn reading about this stuff into an obsession and as with all things you will absorb both the good and the bad. So do take a break.
Avoidance or sensible? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5513)
media (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5609)
illogical fear driving me mad! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6027)
Its happening again ! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6094)
Its happening again ! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6094)
Feeling lonely (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6820)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
So, I had a pretty OK nite last nite and today was the first morning that I didnt wake up feeling terrible. I did Ok most of the day and then in my therapy session I started getting very depersonalized and anxious. We were talking about alot of stuff that makes me sad and anxious! Now im kinda feeling crappy again but not as bad as I was before. I think the meds are starting to work now but I just feel a bit defeated because I thought I was on my way! I want to wake up feeling OK again and im scared I wont. Im trying to think positive thoughts and picture waking up feeling OK again, I just hope it works!
hi chrissy,
well done going to that support group, pleased you managed it ok.
if your talking about stuff that carries strong feelings in therapy, it is gonna be hard at times and the feelings might hang about a while. hopefully you will lose some of the sadness and anxiety as you talk your way through it. ive never found it to be an instant relief, so just stick with it.
lets hope your smiling tomorrow morning .. take care .. andrew
Thanks Andrew
I am going to do some positive imagery 2nite as I fall asleep and I also start taking a "real dose" of my lustral 2nite. I will now be at 100 mil and the dr said and therapist said I should really start feeling even better. My mom said she has noticed a difference the last couple of days for the better.
Ok and I have a question for all of you.....my moms from Kent, town called Sidcup but moved here to the states before she had me. Anyway I grew up watching english tv shows with her but then we couldnt find a station here to watch any. Recently I found a station here in Detroit that plays Keeping up Appearances and The Family. Are those shows still playing there in the UK and were/are they popular there? Trying to figure out what years those shows are from? Kinda silly question - just wanted to know
hi again chrissy, hopefully the increase in meds will help your recovery, give it a while to show results tho.
i only live a couple of miles from sidcup, the whole area has most prob built up alot since your mum left, its more like another area on the outskirts of london than a separate town nowadays, or seems that way. if you go www.sitcom.co.uk its got info about uk sitcoms. if 'the family' is 'my family' its still on tv, if its 'the royle family' its from 90's. keeping up appearances was from the 90's and im sure i saw it in a favorite top 20 sitcom show this week on ch4. i still watch re-runs of old sitcoms on satellite quite often, its theraputic to laugh .. tc andrew
Thanks alot ill look into that website! I had a terrible morning! I thought for sure Id wake up like I did yesterday. but unfortunatly I woke up all sweaty, anxious, depersonalized and generally feeling awful. I want to be better and I just dont know how much longer I can take this. Why was yesterday so much easier then today? I felt ok yesterday until I went into therapy and as I said the session was very tough. I just havent felt good since. Im worried about everything - work, money, when im gonna want to leave my moms house and go back to my own apartment with my cats, if im ever gonna feel better, if the meds are a good idea, will I ever want to hang out and see my friends again, will I ever be able to drive again, if im going to be able to get a job and maintain it, where im going to move when my lease is up in a two months.......EVERYTHING is bothering me. I dont know where to start. Its takes everything I have just to get through my day, how the hell am I going to tackle any of those things?
I havent had my period this month - im a week or so late! Im not pregnant, but I dont know why Im not having a cycle? Could that be having an impact on how I feel? Can anxiety or the lustral have something to do with it? Sorry to just rant but I just feel terrible today and all I want to do is cry on someones shoulder till it all goes away!!!!
nomorepanic
06-01-06, 20:12
Chrissy
The best way of tackling all these issues is one at at time. I was exhausted reading what you need/want to do so I bet you are overwhelmed by it all.
Try to tackle one issue at a time and even make a list if you want to and list each one in turn ....
1) How can I sort out work
2) What problems do I have with money
3) Will I see my cats soon
4) Will I ever drive again
etc
etc
Start with one issue and then try to resolve that and you may find that others fall into place.
Start with one that is easiest to achieve so that you don't feel too overwhelmed by it all. Concentrate on that one thing until you can move on feeling happy that you achieved it.
With regard to periods then someone else has posted about this as well tonight and yes it is normal to miss a period or have one late. Things will settle back down in their own time.
Nicola
hi chrissy,
you do sound very stressed and anxious. if you wake tomorrow feeling the same way try giving yourself a hug, telling yourself that you are ok and its gonna be ok. see if that helps
also try taking it one day at a time, you dont know how your are gonna wake up feeling, dont put any expectations on it and try and deal with whats going on. you can cope, good or bad.
like nic said, take them one at a time. going back to your apartment - do you want to? whats stopping you? can you get somebody to stay with you there until you feel comfortable? just try and work your way through whatever issues you've got with the situations you mentioned - i know its easier to write than it is to do, but thats life, try and go with it.
hug for you .. tc andrew
Yes I think a list is a good idea Nic - thank you very much!
Thank you for the hug andrew - boy if I ever needed it, today was the day!
Its a bummer that I live here in the states - you all seem so close. You get to phone eachothers mobiles and meet up with eachother! Very lucky you all are! But I do feel all of your love so thank you all for that! This site has been a saving grace for me. The computer took a crap today for about an hour and the only thing I thought of was "how will I talk to all my friends from the forum." LOL
I have started my list and ive also written down to myself the kinds of questions andrew asked. Perhaps when I can answer some of those questions, I can start knocking these worries out one by one. As for 2morrow morning - its hard not to have expectations. But, I pray for a good start to my day!!! [:I]
hi chrissy, make your expectations that you will cope irregards of how you feel. dont forget to give yourself a big hug and some encouragement as well, i know it sounds silly but it does work lol .. tc andrew
Chrissy,
It is very normal to feel better one day and then rubbish again the next especially as you're still settling in on meds.
Take hope and joy from the better day and hold that with you in the knowledge that it is progress and slowly you'll start to have more better days and less bad ones.
Watch your sugar,caffiene and aspartane intake very carefully these next few weeks.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
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