View Full Version : I seriously need help
Danny_hardman
12-02-10, 12:51
My Name is Danny I am 25 and of generally good health.
I suffer from severe anxiety and its starting to make me very upset, as I just don’t know what to do, and feel I have nowhere to turn.
Every day I wake up, for the brief 5 minutes that I awake I feel ok, and then my brain starts to kick in, where are the pains in my chest? Where is the pain in my arm? I hate it; it’s these thoughts that I have every day, every minute, every hour. It’s not like I am imagining the pain because I am not, its physical pain that is there. I am constantly worried that I am going to die of a heart attack, and this really scares me. It’s been going on for ages now, since I was 18. Just recently in the evening I was just laying on my bed, and my heart started to race, I have not had this reaction for a few years, I tried to stay calm and deal with it, and got through it, but I keep thinking what if it happens again.
I don’t know what the route cause is, why I suffer this, and I really don’t know what to do, I feel so alone and my life is a mess, from simple things like the cleanliness of my car and my bedroom. Its really starting to scare me as slowly thoughts of suicide are starting to come into my head, and I hate it, I don’t want these feelings in my head, I just want them to go away. I really need help and I don’t know what to do.
Hi Danny,
A huge welcome to NMP
You will receive alot of help and advice here and make some lovely friends along the way, check out the forum on the left hand site, there is a great deal of information there and keep posting, we will help you out as best as we can.
best wishes
di xx
Veronica H
12-02-10, 13:07
:bighug1:Welocme to NMP Danny. This is a friendly site with great information and support. Your nerves are sensitised, and because these symptoms are powerful then they generate fear which in turn sensitises the nerves and the cycle continues. There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES published by Thorsens ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a physician and scientist. She was a fellow sufferer (nominated for the nobel prize for medicine) and really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better.
Here is a link to her site;
http://www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/
Veronicax
gypsywomen
12-02-10, 13:33
your not alone we all at sometime or another have the same feeling you have. may i reassure you ,,it does get better as veronica says there are helplines and also plenty people here who will help how they can maggie
Hi Danny you dont mention if you are taking any medication to help you or if you have spoken to your GP about how you feel. Its awful what you are going through. i can remember when I first started suffering from anxiety which was 12 years ago and I used to constantly think I had a brain tumour, I used to wake up in the morning and feel ok for a little while and then bang along came the thoughts. I was suffering from headaches at the time and was absolutely convinced I had a brain tumour. Nothing anyone said to me would change my mind. I wish I had known about this site then. It will really help you as there are people here who are and have experienced the same as you are now. This anxiety can be cured with the right help depending on which road you want to take. You have took the first step by posting on here so now going forward you will have alot of advise from the forum. Jo.x
Sorry you're feeling so bad Danny. I would strongly advise that you see your GP and ask about treatment options because you really don't want to let your anxiety spiral out of control. There are treatments available so don't allow this to take over your life.
Welcome to the forum and let us know how you get on. We're all here to support you.
Hi Danny, youre having a bad time. A sympathetic Doc should help to reassure you about your physical health which might help. And everyone here can testify that its nothing to be ashamed of (not that im saying you are!) just that as a bloke I let myself feel unmanly and weak about my problems, but now the more i know i realised it can affect anyone and i didnt feel quite so alone. I was about your age working in a pub, had a panic attack and ran like hell out of the pub like the proverbial headless chicken. It was good sport for the drinkers! I so sympathise with the racing heart out of the blue, it makes it so difficult to work out why its happening, and its so exhausting it can make life very hard. But trust me, youll get out of it, and it will leave you a wiser man. best of luck mate
Vanilla Sky
12-02-10, 18:27
Hi Danny , you have found the right place , we are all sufferers of anxiety , panic depression etc. Have you seen your doctor ? If you have and your not finding it much help , ask to be referred to a phycologist, you are entitled to do so. Thats what i did last week at the docs , i just told her i need a bit more help. The samaratins are always there to talk to if you feel really bad Danny. You don't have to go through this on your own. When you have been a member for 5 days , you can come into the chatroom, talk with us and we will support you , you are not alone :)
Love Paige x
Hi Danny, just to let you know that you are not alone, I also suffer with 24/7 anxiety and have done for the past 15 months. The only break I get is when I'm asleep and like you say the brief 5 minutes when you first wake up. It's a struggle for me to concentrate on keeping the house tidy and put my make up on and I really anticipate the day because I know that I have to try my best to cover up how I'm really feeling inside. For me it's the fear of a brain tumour or anurysm and I have constant non stop headaches, sometimes I think I'm going to go mad and be locked away because I just can't control my fears and symptoms. My life is absolutely fantastic which just fuels the anxiety even more because I have a lot to lose if I did die or officially go mad. I've started CBT and also with the help of this site I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I've decided not to take any mediciation although there have been many times I have been tempted to but I think it's good to get counselling and deal with the problem properly rather than just masking it with tablets but if it really doesn't work then of course mediciation would be a big help.
I hope you feel better soon and anxiety disorders are so more common than anyone would ever believe.
:) xxxx
Danny_hardman
15-02-10, 12:54
I would like to just say thank you for all your supporting messages; it’s so nice to feel welcomed.
I have spoken to my Doctor and nothing has come of it, I don’t want to tell him I am having suicidal thoughts, as it scares the life out of me that I think in this way. I don’t want people to think different of me, but I can’t help having these thoughts.
I do not take any medication, I don’t like to take medication not even pain killers, it’s so silly; I know they can’t hurt me. But I am still scared of them, I have been a vegetarian for nearly 16 years, and I should take vitamins everyday which I don’t, and I don’t eat healthily. I really believe this is what fuels my anxiety, but at such a low level of how I feel I can’t bring myself to eat healthily or even contemplate exercising. I think it’s because I am so depressed that I am just not motivated to do anything. I want good things but without that motivation I will never get them. It’s as if I need a massive push to help me out.
I am thinking about coming clean to my doctor, and telling him these thoughts I am having, but I will just break down into tears, and I am scared he will deem me unstable or a danger to myself. What do I do? I am terrible at doing self help; I really need help or someone to give me a push, so that I can then do it myself. I don’t even know if it is laziness, just such a lack of motivation to help myself.
I just don’t know what the problem is, why my body is reacting in this way? Is it something in my past that is just eating at me inside? Can somebody help me understand, ask the right questions to me, help me understand what I am doing to myself? As I am just so alone, scared and depressed.
Oh Danny I send you a big hug!!! Please tell your GP, he will totally understand, dont worry about breaking down in tears (often you feel better after you have had a good cry) I have broken down so many times in front of my GP its a wonder he doesnt have tissues at the ready when I walk in there. That is your first step to getting help and becoming well again, he will be able to offer advice to you. You say you have spoken to him already and nothing has become of it?? What did you say to him. Do you have any family or friends that you talk to? Perhaps one of them could go with you. My husband has come along with me on alot of occasions for support and also to add anything I may have forgotten. Look around this site there is lots of information that can help you. Please dont think you are alone, we are all here to help and support you. Take care and please keep posting. Love Jo.x
Dear Danny,
I am new on this forum, but know exactly where you are coming from. My anxiety has taken over my life to the point where I can not go far from my house as I have developed phobias, such as being in crowds, or even the simplest thing like getting on a bus, or getting stuk in traffic!
My life has now come to a halt, I lost my job, I have to move house, and i havent got a social life anymore. I too had the horrible thoughts of just wanting not to be here, but everytime i think this, I think to myself DONT LET ANXIETY ruin my life cos it can't kill you, we just have to learn to deal with it and slowly move forward.
Dealing with anxiety is horrible, I have had it for over ten years now, and although the panic attacks are not as bad, I now have an anxiety disorder, which means I just live in constant worry.
I do believe that although taking the tablets does not cure anxiety, it does help to relieve it, but to really cure it you have to do it yourself, cos fear is all in the mind.
Are you able to go out? I am trying to look for a support group near me to help me understand and meet other sufferers.
You are never alone trust me, alot of people suffer from anxiety, some are just to embarrassed to say anything. If you ever need to talk we are all here to listen
skye x
Jannie2948
15-02-10, 13:45
Danny, do you not have anyone that you can talk to about any of this, if not you must talk to your doctor. I too was scared of talking to my doctor but it turned out that he was so helpful. I am now on Citalopram for my HA and panic attacks and I am gradually getting better. I still have the odd moment here and there where I panic but generally they have helped. I went to the doctors and cried because I felt so awful. Had been put on Propranolol but they made me feel worse so now on Citalopram. Please go back to your doctor and get some help, don't be afraid of taking medication, it definitely should help you. There are lots of people on here that you can talk to, I've only been a member for a short while but have found it very useful. I think I have suffered with this for years but it only came to a head late last year. Didn't have a good start to the year and it just seemed to peak around October last year but am feeling a lot better now, still not 100% and anxious but getting there and I'm determined to feel better. Hope you go to see your doctor and get the help that you need.
Jannie x x
oh bless u, i can feel how desperate u are in your post and ijust want to cry for u that u r feeling so down.
i really dont think tht a gp will think u are unsafe, its not like the old days when they lock u away and throw away the key. its likely he/she will put u on a list for councilling and put u on the right meds.
i do think tht its possibly an imbalance of the brain (dont quote me on tht, im no doc) or something lacking in your diet.
i find tht if i excercise and eat a well balanced diet then i feel fantastic but i feel tht yours is prob alot deeper then tht.
it does sound like u are having severe panic attacks that can be confused for a heart attack, i had one a few yrs ago and seriously thought it was the end!
please dont suffer in silence anymore :weep:
i know what its like to have thoughts constantly going round in your head, i have it daily about my eldest child, i panic tht something bad is going to happen to her and even have visions of her funeral and put different senarios to how she will die.
It makes me feel like im going mad but nothing i do will stop these daily thoughts and i find myself never leaving her side and having bouts of o.c.d where i think if i dont breath a certain way then something will happen to her (crazy i know, haha).
it does seriously sound like your depressed, your the same age as me and it seems like its on the rise in ppl our age.
if u can afford it then try private councilling so your seen quicker.
i really hope tht these r just thoughts and you wld never take your own life, im a very spiritual person and try to follow buddism and i feel tht we are sent here to learn different lessons and experience different emotions for our soul to progress in the next life (im not preaching, honest :winks:). you will overcome this with help frm professionals and i hope tht one day we all hav clear, happy minds.
sorry for the long post, just felt compelled to write to u xxx
Danny_hardman
15-02-10, 14:37
Thank you so much for your replies, reading them are making me quite emotional, I want to just write whats happened in my life, and why I feel this way. I have spoken to my doctor, he just examines me, gives me that bit of reassurance and sends me on my way. Admittedly thats what I want is reassurance, just for him/her to tell me I am okay. But with my GP, I never see the same Doctor, I always see a different GP.
I am able to go out, I have some friends, but none enough where I could talk about everything in my life, as so much has happened to me, and at my age no person should go through what I have been through.
I think I will see my doctor and just tell him everything, but anti depressants I dont think will help me, as soon as I take them, the first thing I will look at is the side effects. I never used to be like this, my first panic attack was when I was 18, it was so scary, I have never talked properly too anyone ever about them, this is the first time I am opening up. I have so much to say, I just want to blurr out everything but now my eyes are becoming hard to see, because I am so upset, and I dont know why. Its just my overcoming anxiety because I just want it to go, and with everything else, it all just leads back to, ending my life. Thats what upsets the most, really, the fact that I am even considering that, I want these thoughts to go I try so so so so hard and they just dont go. Nobody has ever asked me whats wrong danny? But I am always there for my friends, and will do everything in my power to make everyone happy, but its becoming so much harder to do this, and I am just begining to hide away.
You all seem so lovely you all really do, and its just becoming a bit emotional for me.
there is no structure to what I am writing I am just writing as it comes, i am sorry if it doesnt make sense.
Hello again Danny, you have taken the first steps by opening up on here a bit. Make an appointment to see your GP (ask for one that you have spoken to before and you feel comfortable with) and then open up to him/her. They will understand and will not have you taken away or anything like that. It is different now, there is so much help out there for you and your GP can eplain what choices you have. What I would say to you is do not be afraid of taking the medication as this can be very beneficial, especially whilst you may have to wait to speak to someone about this. Yes there can be side effects as with all medication but once you get through that stage and its usually around a couple of weeks (even though we are all different) it will help to make you feel better. Please do not be afraid to put how you feel on here as we will all listen and support you. You are heading in the right direction trust me. Take care. Jo.xx
Hi and welcome, i suffer from anxiety but not depression - I have been put on medication which is an antidepressant but helps anxiety. I am sure it is not perfect but it has helped the racing heart has eased as have the panic attacks. May i suggest that you tell your doc how panicked you feel because as a colleague,who had suffered with anxiety, said - some people are on medication for diabetes, for heart probs, for epilepsy, why not for anxiety? This kicked me into taking the pills! Like you I didn't even take paracetamol. The other thing my doc prescribed was beta blockers - I only take them when the panic takes over - they are harmless but control the panic, taking them less and less now but nice to know they are in my handbag. Hope this helps - if you wanted to die you wouldnt be worried about dying - honest!:hugs:
hi danny,
first u should tell your doc about your thoughts i have told my doc all the things going on in my head and no-ones tried to lock me up!! i have the suicide thoughts most days i know i dont want to do it but the thought is there anyway i look at it as one of those intrusive thoughts, i know it cant hurt me and although unpleasent it is just a thought after all!! the racing heart is nothing to worry about my doc told me that i am stressing without me being aware and i only become aware when i hearts racing and im wondering why please see your doc hun the right one will give you all the help you need :hugs:
I think it's really important that you talk to your doctor about how depressed you are feeling and about the suicidal thoughts you've been having don't leave anything out. My anxiety was triggered when I was 4 weeks pregnant with my son and by the time I was in my third trimester it was out of control I had to see a doctor. I was so ashamed and embarrassed because I thought I would be judged as a terrible mam and the doctors would consider getting my baby taken away from me when he was born but this was not the case at all. They are so understanding and believe it or not they have heard these problems a million times over, they won't be shocked, angry, make any judgements on you what so ever but instead discuss your options with you. Some doctors I hear are quick to make prescriptions but I have never taken pills (sometimes I think about it though at desperate times) but no I'm currently going through CBT and I really think it's about getting to the core of the problem and overcoming your difficulties rather than just masking it with pills (although in some cases pills are really needed I suppose). I've never had suicidal thoughts as my anxiety is mainly about not wanting to die but sometimes the anxiety symptoms are so awful and I feel so depressed that sometimes it's hard to function and get out of this dark whole but I have a beautiful baby boy and want so many more children and this keeps me going and fighting to get over this crap!! I'm very similar to you though and never take paracetemol or anything like that.
Please see a doctor it's the best thing you can do, anxiety and depression is such a lonely thing and it's awful to think of anyone having to go through this. Don't expect to get better straight away after seeking help, these things take a long time but it can be beaten and you will beat it :) :) :)
it does sound like councelling is the best route for u, if u hav alot of issues from the past and hav no one u can talk to about it then atleast u can talk to a pro and get good advise. they will make things clearer for u and help u to understand why u feel like this.
my mum is on anti deppresents at the mo cause my dad died suddenly on boxing day, she hassaid tht they r defo helping her deal with things better and she is sleeping really well, she also said tht they are easing her into the idea tht after 30 yrs marriage she will be on her own. if they can work for her then im sure they will work for u.
of course there r side effects on most prescribed drugs but these hav been tested so much and so many ppl take them tht if they were tht bad then no way wld u be allowed to take them, they wdnt risk bein sued!! i think its worth risking a few minor side effects if it will make your mind a happier place to be.
you sound like a lovely person and dont deserve to feel this way.
first thing tomorrow pick up the phone and make an app to see your gp, tell them u r having thoughts of takin your life...if they dont sit up and listen to tht then theres no hope for any of us.
pls keep us updated
xxxx:flowers:xxxx
Danny, it sounds horrid. It has become a vicious cycle and I can tell you feel very alone with this. Once anxiety has you in its grip, it is hard to break fee but really, not impossible.
Please do read the book Veronica suggested...this book has helped me so, so much.
On top of this I think you really must insist to your GP that he or she should refer you for some counselling at least. Really, talk this through with someone and if possible, some tranquillizers (short term) just to give you a break from it and help you find some help while feeling a little calmer. Also, if your GP will prescribe a short few days or a week on some diazepam (valium) will maybe help you see that if your symptoms go away, you will know for sure that anxiety and the long term stress is the cause of your physical symptoms
danny sweetheart, from reading the responses u can clearly see u r not alone in this condition.,., i am guessing that u have experienced some form of abuse as a child, which may have cause u great trauma,. in which case is not surprising that these things are causing u great anxiety and suiacidal thoughts. i am only guessing here and could be completly wrong, but whatever it is that u have experienced within your life, mabey it is time for you to start dealing wit it so as to not allow it to affect the rest of your life.,.get help hun, look on the web, directories, Gp's, etc...there is a wealth of help out there but YOU have to look for it.,. take the first step and the rest will be easier.,.there are support groups that can help, one to one councelling,. you may have to try a few options until you find whats right for you,.,seek and you shall find.....start the journey of helping yourself to getting control again of YOUR LIFE...starting to talk about things does help.if yourve got good friends, then mabey open up to them and ask them to support you through this journey of healing,., sometimes we do have to ask for help,.if you feel your Gp is unhelpful, then you could always change doctors,.there always is a solution even if we cant see it, someone else can,.,. good luck treacle.,.xxx
Danny - my thoughts are with you. Based on my own experience, I don't know if these thoughts might help...
1. It took me a long while, but I realised what I was experiencing psychologically wasn't the equivalent of having a mass grave under my patio of people I'd murdered. At worst, it was like owning up to quite liking Agadoo by Black Lace...
2. What I mean by this is that I sense some shame on your part about what your going through. Don't. You're not alone. Don't let your thoughts be your foe. They are part of you at present, and you need to acknowledge this, and find a way through, either via self-help, medication or talking therapy of some type. You do have options about what might best help you, as long as you don't close down things that might help on principle without trying them first.
3. There is absolutely no shame associated with how you are feeling. If you have a good GP - be honest. If you don't - find another!
(Reading this post back before submitting, I don't know if it sounds right. Danny, if it helps - I got the words and sentiment right. If it doesn't - I got it wrong...)
MB
Oh Danny - you poor thing, but firstly be very proud of urself coz u've admitted to your feelings on here-and be reassured you are not alone!!! As a sufferer for a very long time I understand completely and I am sure many other will tell you the same thing.
Go and have a chat with with Doctor, from years of experience GP's can be fab and I have had great support and you will feel relieved for sharing ur feelings.
I have recently had a bad spell with the anxiety coz of some family stuff - but had a long chat with a new doctor who reassured me that feelings of Panic/anxiety etc are very very common. That kind of gave me a lot of hope.
Hang on in there hun - u r so not alonex
Danny_hardman
23-02-10, 12:46
Thank you all so much for your responses - really...
I have worked out an action plan to try and deal with it.. and have written alot down about how I am feeling and why I am feeling like this. I would love it if everyone could help me work on it and help me understand and make links for myself, why I get all these bodily reactions, and maybe help me address them, so these reactions stop happening.. as I really cant carry on with this anymore, its just getting too much.
thank you
Danny
Hi Danny, thank goodness you have posted...been looking for your resonse every day and was worried about you. Did you manage to talk any more to your GP??? What is your action plan going forward, if you want to share with us then we can try and help you going forward. It is always good to write things down, in my own experience I always do this, even if its just how you are feeling etc, its a kind of release if that makes sense. I think that its great you have identified WHY you may be feeling like you do, then you can work towards stopping them happening. Please dont give up, it always feels too much but when you share and talk about it you will feel so much better. Hope that helps. Big hugs...Jo.xx remember there are alot of good people on here to help you.xxx
Hi Danny. Hope you don't mind my input! Ive just read your posts and I feel very emotional about your situation. Just wanted to say I am thinking about you and I hope you start to feel better real soon. Don't be embarrassed about being labelled in any way as a consequence of speaking about your problems (I've worried about this too). If you broke a leg you would ask a surgeon to fix it right? Same goes for the brain! Believe me, if you can arrange to see a counsellor they are the least judgemental people I have ever met. And most importantly, they want to help you get better, they have chosen to help you because they want to. We are all born equal and what happens to us from then on affects who we become and how we feel. Some people get all the 'crap' thrown at them, stuff nobody should ever have to go through. A counsellor may be able to help you with this.
I was just wandering if next time you see your doc, would it be worth having a health check up, you know the standard stuff, blood pressure, weight, thyroid, iron etc as you said you are a vegetarian and are concerned about not getting enough vitamins/minerals etc? Its just a thought. It wouldn't hurt would it? Tell the GP what you want by the way, don't let them fob you off! You are important, remember that!
Good luck matey. Stay proactive.
Danny go back to the doctors and tell him how you feel, I cry almost every time I go it's nothing to be ashamed of Doctors have a srict code of confidentiality and nothing will be said out of the surgeryI've taken my husband with me before now because I was in such a state and he has had to explain to the Doc what was wrong.Have you someone who will go with you?I don't like taking tablets but remember diabetics need insulin to live and sometimes its necessary Tablets just help to get over the initial difficult time it's not forever
Keep chatting on here there are lots of people to help you
Linda
Danny_hardman
24-02-10, 15:44
Just an update - I have spoken with my Doctor yesterday at 6pm, I tried to stay calm in the room with him, but I just broke down, and I couldnt say the words suicide, but he knew what I meant as he said you feel as if you could take your own life, I said yes.
He has put me on Citalopram 40mg and I must book an appointment to see him in two weeks, I am lonely person, and dont speak to many people generally and I very scare about taking this. I am so worried what it is going to do to me, and I dont want it to increase any fear and pain I have already, as I know it could really push me to something I dont want to do.
I really think I am going to need support during these two weeks, but have no where to turn.
Hi Danny, hopefully the medication will help you get back on more of an even keel, but talking to people can also be very helpful and give you a bit more perspective on things.
There are normally people you can talk to give you some support - even if you are quite a private person and dont have close friends and family, there are often free meeting groups for people with anxiety ( your local hospital may hold these, or be able to point you in the right direction ) - there is also the samaritans who are only a phone call away.
Also ( and this may seem a bit odd coming from an atheist ) - local churches often have counsellors attached to them who will be able to see you. Places like the Elim churches are very good like this, and quite modern thinking, so not like the old stuffy catholic ones.
Even if you dont have any particular faith or belief in god, they are normally willing to help anyone ( part of being a Christian I suppose ! ) and are very non judgemental and can help.
I notice you are in Colchester ? there is an elim church listed there www.elimcolchester.org (http://www.elimcolchester.org) - part of the pastors job, as well as preaching etc..., is offering advice and help to people who need it.
I was always wary of talking to people about my problems, but can honestly say every time I did, it made me feel a lot better, and even just knowing there is someone thinking of you and on your side can give your confidence a boost.
They also often run social things for people in the church, and anyone is welcome - stuff like bowling, mens groups etc... so you may find having some company from people who arent going to be judgemental, either about your problems or that you arent necessarily an active church goer may help as well.
Also remember theres always people one here and in the chat room who have been through the same or similar for support
Hey Danny, you do have somewhere to turn...HERE. Please please keep posting, there are people on here that can help. I have taken those meds before for a number of years so kind of know how they can effect you etc, so does alot of others on here. Well done for speaking to the doctor, you will master this. Please dont be frightened to ask for help if you need it. We will all help you. Take care. Joxx
Hi Danny,
Just wanted to say well done for going to the doctors, first step, Ive never tried the drug that you are on, but have heard alot of good things - its worth a shot.
You will get alot of support on here
I hope things get better for you.
x
Hi
i'm the same as you every morning i lie there waiting for the chest pains or the racing heart and sure enough as soon as i'm up wham they are there. I have suffered now for so long everyones fed up with me keep going on. My doc has put me on anti depressents which as i told him they are not helping he doesn't even examine me now, he says the pains etc are all anxiety and i truly think he thinks i'm making the pains up but i'm not they are real, .i get shooting pains and tight muscles.Sometimes i do have some good days but very few. I know just how you are feeling i have no intrest in anything. I'm told these symptoms are because of stress and anxiety you should try massage or yoga as this issaid to help also Claire weekes has a book and once you read that you will understand that it is all anxiety. I have had ecgs and seen top bupa cardiologist and he said i'm ok and so are you .
By the way you are not lazy its just that we feel so low we have no energy but you will get there and there are plenty of people on here the same.
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