Panic about not going to sleep

[Louisey]

Hi all,
I've had a relapse of anxiety/panic for about the past three weeks, mainly 'anxiety about anxiety'. I'm seeing a psychologist and I'm on sertraline again, and I'm also working on meditation and mindfulness to try and view my thoughts and worries, intrusive thoughts (I have fears of losing control in a major way) and just those, thoughts and worries.
I have, however, an achilles heel - sleep. I had trouble sleeping in the first week or so, probably due to starting the medication and general feelings of lowness about what was happening to me. But recently I have had two nights where I have not slept at all - I have been awake the whole night. I am terrified of this becoming a problem and costing me my job as I worry so much about it the next day, am so tired, and find it hard to be mindful. I have sleeping pills from the doctor to use on intermittent nights but even on those I can wake up during the night or worry myself about not sleeping into a bad night's sleep.
As I feel myself drift off I find myself checking to see if I'm asleep, and then I panic. And then the chance of sleep is long gone. I've had this problem recurringly in the past and it has passed, but not since I developed panic disorder a few years ago, the panicy feeling makes it so much worse.
I know there are plenty of people out there who function on little to no sleep - new parents, long term insomniacs, but I just can't stop feeling like such a failure about it, especially when I catasrophise is to lasting for ever. I worry that I'm going to worry myself insane as my mind never gets a chance to rest.
I have good sleep hygiene practices too, a very set routine for going to bed each night. But this morning I am so tightly wound up after not being able to sleep for ages, not even after taking two oxazpam tablets to stop the panic attack feelings.
Any advice or positive stories would be much appreciated.
Yours in stress,
Louisey

[loulabell]

Hi Louisey,
I once had this problem so i know how horrible it is. Ive had anxiety for most of my life but this was a new symptom i had a few years ago during a very stressful time when my baby son was not sleeping through the night. After months and months of lack of sleep i suddenly developed abit of an obsession of "what if i cant fall asleep". I also was frightened it would last for ever but it wont it is just an anxious thought that is frightening you. Basically you get yourself into abit of a vicious circle, thinking the thought brings on panic and anxiety then you are not relaxed to fall asleep.
You wont stay awake forever, your body would naturally fall alseep eventually because you would be so exhausted it would be impossible to try and stay awake.
Your bodys own natural reactions would kick in eventually, why do you think its dangerous to drive for so many hours without sleep, no matter how hard you try to stay awake, if your going to drift off to sleep because you are exhausted then you will. When i had this problem it also helped me to think that if in the extreme case i did not fall asleep again i could go to the hospital or doctors and ask them to give me something really strong to knock me out, needless to say this never happened because as my anxiety levels dropped so did my obsession with not sleeping.
Also try some relaxation cds or similar. Hope ive been of some help.
Louise

[squeaky]

Hello there, lack of sleep is awful because it robs you of the energy to keep up the positive things so you end up in a vicious circle. Please dont feel like a failure, thats the last thing you are. If you had,say broken your leg, something that everyone could see, you would accept sympathy and rightly feel sorry for yourself! But you wouldnt feel like a failure, its an illness. Try and give yourself a break. I thought your description of worrying about worrying youll go insane was such a good description, but you will get better. A good nights sleep will come, and you will get your confidence back. Good luck

[robbieuno]

Hi there, iv had this problem, i went 3 full nights with no sleep at all, it really scared me and i was still working during the day,that was about a year ago.i sleep better now but it took a long time to get back to a proper sleep rota.i have been suffering from depression and anxietey the last 18 months.all i can tell you is to try and not worry about not sleeping and you should fall asleep it is hard but try it. Sex is a good thing and exercise to help. I am still not right sleeping but that is due to my mental state of mind. Do not sleep during the day.when i could not sleep i thpught i would end up in hospital serdated but that did not happen.i wish you well and good luck,reguards robert

[Louisey]

Thanks for the kind words and advice everyone, it makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone and that other people have had this problem and come through it. I have to remember too that I've suffered insomnia and had nights with little or no sleep before, and while it is annoying and exhausting, it hasn't been the end of the world! I have to remember that it's just my anxiety at the moment that's making it seem like the worse thing ever.
x

[pheetuz]

Hiya, i have much the same kind of thought as you with regards to sleep, start checking to see if i am asleep and start to panic if im not getting that way.

Nowadays i just try not to think about the concequences of not being able to sleep whilst trying to sleep, if theres no consequences then it doesnt matter and doesnt make me panicy, easier said than done i know but i find it helps a lot.

Also, if you manage to get into work, uni in my case without any sleep then there really are no majorly detremental effects of not being able to sleep - other than feeling like crap for the day and therefore no major consequences and therefore no need to panic whilst trying to get to sleep .... this is my thought pattern atm anyways, hope it helps :)

I really do know how horrible not being able to sleep is though and hope it goes away soon, have you tried putting some thing on tv in the background quietly to take your mind off of things ???

/Pete

[phil06]

It's good to read these posts as sleep is an issue my anxiety has got worse with the last few weeks.

How long has everybody elses sleep issues gone on for? I had one night with zero hours sleep and it's no fun. I felt like crap and could hardly do anything the next day.

I am bad with waking up in the middle of the night at the moment and I burst into a panic attack thinking my heart is going too slow..takes me an hour to settle most times.

[loulabell]

Hi all
Just wanted to add for reassurance for anyone worrying about the effects of lack of sleep, i no longer have this problem so i know it is a problem that you can rid yourself of. My sleep problems were triggered when i had my baby, he never slept a full night from the day he was born then i got myself into a vicious circle. I would put him down to bed at night then spend the next few hours trying to get to sleep before he woke up, then he would wake in the early hours, keep us awake for a while then when he eventually fell asleep i would try frantically to get some sleep before i had to get up for work about 6am, needless to say i had lots of nights with no sleep at all but probably averaged about 3hrs a night for about 2 years. Hes now 3 and still gets up early but does sleep all night(usually)lol. The point im trying to get at though is our bodies can cope with alot more than we imagine, i used to walk about zombified, worrying that i would collapse with exhaustion, i remember feeling like my quality of life was so crap but you do get through it, me and my husband can actually laugh about it now but at the time it was horrendous. I agree with what Pheetaz said, when you stop worrying about the consequences of lack of sleep it lowers your anxiety which then enables you to sleep easier.
Louise

[charlotte83]

I totally sympathise, I'm having the same thing at the moment. In the last three weeks, I have had 6 nights of not sleeping at all, obviously spaced out with nights of sleeping inbetween. I've had about 7 nights of bad sleep, ie getting to sleep about 6am and then the rest of the time I've slept totally normally. I really don't get what is causing it, as my anxiety isnt too bad. I think its probably just the fear of not sleeping is so intense, it is keeping me awake. I was given zopiclone by the doc but I really only want to take them as a very last resort, like if I hadn't slept for more then two nights. I've tried herbal nytol which is rubbish and normal nytol which isn't much better to be honest.
The doctor suggested this book to me http://www.amazon.co.uk/Can-Make-You-Sleep-Book/dp/0593055381/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266419805&sr=8-1 which also comes with a hypnosis cd. It came thismorning and as I have had zilch sleep last night, I'm going to give the cd a go tonight, can't do any harm. I will post again and let you know if it helps. Best thing to do is probably to accept it which I find very hard to do. I think maybe having some sleep every night, even if it was rubbish would be easier to accept but having none scares me. I just have visions of staying awake for days until I lsoe the plot and start seeing things or get sectioned from sleep deprivation! :(

[unspoken]

I think the issue here is being conscious of trying to get to sleep. I've always struggled with getting to sleep. It is the process of letting yourself go. If you think "Why aren't I asleep yet?" you'll be wide awake and anxious.

First off, hide all the clocks. Don't look at the time. The worst possible thing is to think "Oh no I've only got 6 hours left till I have to get up" because it will become 5 hours, 4 hours, 3... then about 15 minutes before the alarm goes, you'll feel sleepy. Make sure you're comfy, the temperature is right. Change your bedding once a week, I find having clean fresh bedding helps.

I find I have to distract myself from the fact that I'm trying to sleep. Sometimes I'll nod off watching a DVD on the sofa, but if I get into bed and know it's bed time, I feel wide awake. I sometimes put talk radio on very quietly so I can barely hear it, but it distracts me from my thoughts and I feel like I'm not actually trying to fall asleep. If you don't find that helpful, another thing I used to do is rather than trying to clear my head, let it fill with random, unconnected words and phrases. Complete gibberish but it keeps worried thoughts out of my head and trying to come up with the nonsense thoughts keeps my brain busy and then I feel myself kind of spinning into sleep.

And, as said above, if you don't sleep, it's not the end of the world. Your body will sleep when it needs to. I used to panic about not sleeping the night before something important but I came to realise that I can still get through things on zero sleep.

[DarrenG]

Hypnosis cd's are brilliant especially for getting to sleep. I have about half a dozen or so and i have never heard the end of any of them lol:D

[charlotte83]

I tried the cd on wednesday night along with a nytol and then got to sleep at about 3am and slept for nine hours! Had to listen to it twice as the first time it didn't make me sleep and the second time I pulled the earplugs out and slept pretty much soon after. I listened to the cd again twice tonight and had 2 herbal nytols as I don't want to take the normal ones every night, and I'm still not asleep :(:(:(. I can't go on like this, only sleeping every other night :(.
I don't know if the cd works, it seemed to help last night and it has good reveiws on amazon but it hasn't helped at all tonight. I really don't know what is wrong with me.

[charlotte83]

Got to sleep at 8.30 am until 12 so at least I've had some sleep, still rubbish though. I'm sure I have some mental block as I just get surges of anxiety everytime I drift off that wake me up. Anyway sorry to hijack the post, I know it wasn't my post to start with.
I would reccomend Paul Mckenna's "I can make you sleep" book and cd though to anyone having trouble. Its not been miraculous on me but there is some slight improvement in the last two days, so I shall persist with using it.