Nidawi
13-02-10, 00:06
Hiya :)
I stumbled accross this website the other day whilst having a health anxiety related panic attack and reading through some of the articles helped me to calm down. Since then I've come back a couple of times and decided it might be good for me to sign up to the forum and talk to some people who are going through similar things.
Um, I guess a little about me should follow, my names Ben, i'm just about to turn 20 and have suffered from OCD, depression and social/health anxiety that also seems to cause insomnia most nights my whole life to varying degrees. When I was about 14 I turned to drink which after a while only made matters worse but instead of going in the right direction I ended up getting involved in drugs when I was 16. (I hope it's not against the rules to mention things like this on this forum, thought I would keep it non-specific to be safe and it's not something I'm proud of or want to encourage but if I am contravening something please edit my post/tell me and I will edit) For a while my use of various things allowed me to live a lifestyle that had previously been impossible to me and I had many 'friends' and was going out every night but whilst I rarely felt anxious or suffered the insomnia, the depression and OCD slowly worsened along with a feeling of dissasociation and that I was not really myself anymore. Over the last two years I've slowly phased everything out including caffeine, alcohol and two weeks ago I quit smoking and even eating chocolate! (apart from the occassional square of low sugar dark)
I now hope to try and reclaim the life that I've never really had, I have also decided on the non-medication route as it were, refused anti-depressants and zopiclone as I feel i've learnt that putting chemicals into my body is NOT the answer. I realised most of the friends I had made from 16-18 were not the sort of people I wanted in my life and now only have about 5 close people I feel comfortable with, one of which, the one person I have always been able to trust no matter what has now moved several hours away :( I have started drinking herbal tea whenever I feel anxious, cooking healthy meals twice a day, excercising daily and taking vitamins/5htp daily. I have also finally accepted that I am NOT dying from some horrible disease and that various physical symptoms I have been suffering from for years are caused by my own mind! I have quite a long way to go still but I hope that I have taken the first steps towards being able to lead the life that I want to, I am currently unemployed and rarely have the courage to leave the house (infact just having a friend round causes me to feel disorientated, anxious and sweat profusely :s) but I have a burning desire to fight this now, the proper way, rather than just wallowing in self pity and trying to cover up my mental illness with intoxicants. Since i've waffled on for so long I suppose it might also be worth mentioning im currently awaiting a diagnosis on whether or not I have aspergers syndrome and am on the waiting list for CBT.
Phew, sorry about the essay there! Didn't really mean for this post to turn into my life story but once I started typing...
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to actually read through all that and I hope to meet lots of friendly people here so we can get better together
:)
, Nidawi
I stumbled accross this website the other day whilst having a health anxiety related panic attack and reading through some of the articles helped me to calm down. Since then I've come back a couple of times and decided it might be good for me to sign up to the forum and talk to some people who are going through similar things.
Um, I guess a little about me should follow, my names Ben, i'm just about to turn 20 and have suffered from OCD, depression and social/health anxiety that also seems to cause insomnia most nights my whole life to varying degrees. When I was about 14 I turned to drink which after a while only made matters worse but instead of going in the right direction I ended up getting involved in drugs when I was 16. (I hope it's not against the rules to mention things like this on this forum, thought I would keep it non-specific to be safe and it's not something I'm proud of or want to encourage but if I am contravening something please edit my post/tell me and I will edit) For a while my use of various things allowed me to live a lifestyle that had previously been impossible to me and I had many 'friends' and was going out every night but whilst I rarely felt anxious or suffered the insomnia, the depression and OCD slowly worsened along with a feeling of dissasociation and that I was not really myself anymore. Over the last two years I've slowly phased everything out including caffeine, alcohol and two weeks ago I quit smoking and even eating chocolate! (apart from the occassional square of low sugar dark)
I now hope to try and reclaim the life that I've never really had, I have also decided on the non-medication route as it were, refused anti-depressants and zopiclone as I feel i've learnt that putting chemicals into my body is NOT the answer. I realised most of the friends I had made from 16-18 were not the sort of people I wanted in my life and now only have about 5 close people I feel comfortable with, one of which, the one person I have always been able to trust no matter what has now moved several hours away :( I have started drinking herbal tea whenever I feel anxious, cooking healthy meals twice a day, excercising daily and taking vitamins/5htp daily. I have also finally accepted that I am NOT dying from some horrible disease and that various physical symptoms I have been suffering from for years are caused by my own mind! I have quite a long way to go still but I hope that I have taken the first steps towards being able to lead the life that I want to, I am currently unemployed and rarely have the courage to leave the house (infact just having a friend round causes me to feel disorientated, anxious and sweat profusely :s) but I have a burning desire to fight this now, the proper way, rather than just wallowing in self pity and trying to cover up my mental illness with intoxicants. Since i've waffled on for so long I suppose it might also be worth mentioning im currently awaiting a diagnosis on whether or not I have aspergers syndrome and am on the waiting list for CBT.
Phew, sorry about the essay there! Didn't really mean for this post to turn into my life story but once I started typing...
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to actually read through all that and I hope to meet lots of friendly people here so we can get better together
:)
, Nidawi