relationship troubles

[debbsi]

Hi
I havent been on here for ages - thankfully my anxieties dont often rear their ugly head anymore. However every now and again something will happen could be really small and it will set it off again. I am determined not to become the mess I once was - I am now studying part time at uni and working part time and things are going well.
Anyway to get to the point, my worries are normally linked with health, money, holidays, the car etc I have never had the need to worry about my relationship with my husband, until the other week...
I was only the pc and i opened my email but DH was still signed into it and I saw several notifacations from facebook from a woman! I had to open them as I started to worry - by heart was thudding. I could only see the messages she had sent and not what he had written. Anyway to cut a long story short I had it out with him and I beleive his explanation - no harm has been done - but now I cant stop checking his emails and looking at his fb profile page - I keep checking up on him - we have been together for 20 years and I have never felt the need to do this - its not a nice feeling but i do feel we are closer as we have had to actually talk to him.
The question is - how can I stop myself checking up on him, its really addictive!!
Deb x

[dulcie]

You are obviously a very sensible woman who recognises that she is probably over reacting - and clearing the air has been a good thing. I let my hsb sign up for a dating agency - to enter a competition to win a car - needless to say we didn't win and i was v. jealous when he spoke of the emails he was getting. I, like you knew there was nothing in it - if you think he would be ok with it you could ask him to change his email address and not tell her - just to stop your anxiety. mine would if he thought it would help me.

[ZoJo]

Well you are bound to check, (I would too) but hopefully when the episode calms down and the time passes you will stop checking. Keep talking and staying close xx

[sb001f8994]

Hi,
The trust you had in your husband has lapsed some what. You thought you had cause to doubt and yes I would have done the same, there is always a nagging doubt so you have to check, even if its not good we still have to take a peek. Now you have talked it over and you are happy that things are ok then your trust will come back, it may take a little while but it will come back.
As long as you keep the communication doors open things will be ok, good luck.