really cant cope today

[rebeccad]

ok well here i go again, yesterday i had an appointment with the person i see at the mental health centre and i told her how wonderful i was doing and she was really pleased and said i didnt need to go back for another 6 weeks, well this morning i have woken up and i feel irriatable and feel as if i cant cope with the kids and just life in general, its not like i feel suicidal or anything like that just that i am so snappy and dont want anybody around me, when i speak to the nurse i just cant seem to get my feelings out and just tell her that im doing fine because at that moment when im there i really am. Now i have to go 6 weeks till i go back and it seems like a long long time i feel a bit nervous about not seeing her for so long. Does this sound really silly and childish? Every time the kids talk to me or cry it seriously goes right through me and i just want to lock myself in a room and be alone. Sorry to rant just had to get it out. :weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep:

[BKF1515]

I have days when I feel like this, and I feel so guilty when I can't give my kids my undivided attn. and snap at them when they are trying to get my attn. But I am so busy worrying over my own anxieties I think my feelings are more impotant at that moment. And the only way to get through it is to be alone when of course that is not always possible. the guilt always sinks in and makes me feel like I can't cope and why am I this way?

Maybe if you turn it around, you actually were doing better but your own head won't let you feel that way, so it is creating a mental problem for you to destroy any feeling of success that you don't need to see anyone for 6 weeks? Do you ever feel like your mind doesn't let you enjoy anything in your life and that the only way that you feel alive is to worry or be in pain? Sometimes I feel this way. I am sure things will look up for you soon. Hang in there. :)

[SamanthaAU]

Oh, big hugs! You don't sound childish to me at all.

I have 3 kids under 4.5 and I totally get what you mean about wanting to lock yourself away. I feel like I can't really concentrate on my feelings and anxiety when they are around me sometimes and even though I shouldn't be concentrating on it, I have the need to.

Can you call the clinic and ask to come back in? Maybe you could write down how you feel now, so that when you go back to see them you can tell them how you do feel when you aren't there.

I know that when I see my doc/pysch I feel better in their presence and as soon as I leave, or that afternoon or next day I feel worse again.

Thinking of you :)

[rebeccad]

thanks for taking the time to reply, i dont really feel any better today and still feel highly anxious it is also getting close to the time of the month so maybe that has something to do with it, 6 weeks just seems a lifetime away, not that it should make a difference because i cant keep going for the rest of my life one day i have to go it alone, and even when im there i cant get my feelings out as im not entirely sure myself my head is so mixed up, can anybody else relate to this? as soon as you are there your mind goes blank and you just say all the right things and forget about how you have felt previously.

[LisaLisa]

thanks for taking the time to reply, i dont really feel any better today and still feel highly anxious it is also getting close to the time of the month so maybe that has something to do with it, 6 weeks just seems a lifetime away, not that it should make a difference because i cant keep going for the rest of my life one day i have to go it alone, and even when im there i cant get my feelings out as im not entirely sure myself my head is so mixed up, can anybody else relate to this? as soon as you are there your mind goes blank and you just say all the right things and forget about how you have felt previously.

Hi rebecca I can relate to this totally. I think though that you are right to think about the fact that you dont want to be going there for ever and it might be easy to get kind of dependant on the therapist to offload all your anxiety on without actually pushing through it yourself using the CBT stuff. This is a six week opportunity for you see how well you can do everything they have told you to do and see how much better you can get yourself before you need to go back. Kind of like a challenge? Cos you know that if you do feel awfull byt the end of the six weeks....and i really dont thing that you will, but if you do , the therapist will help you with that.

I found that I was alsways saying the right things but kept thinking that i wasnt expressing to him how i felt when i wasnt actually in a session. But i know now that i was there to learn how to deal with my anxiety problem and all that mattered there and then was that i was saying the right things and remembering what he was telling me so that I could do it on my own after the therapy.

He told me that people are usually only 50% better when they stop therapy but very soon after being discharged they make up the other 50% themselves using the cbt and remebnering the sessions. Its true, I am 80% better. I have off days but GAD and HA never truely go, you just learn to deal; with them better.

Sounds like your on track hun.....just impatient to get better .... ,maybe its cos your come so far you can see normality again clearer?

Lisa
xxxxxxxxx