Help_Me
16-02-10, 18:55
Hi all,
I've posted on another form, but thought I'd show up here too. I write in hope of firstly, getting ressurance, and secondly, telling my story to reassure ohers.
Just before Christmas (19th December) I woke up with wierd pins and needles in my feet. Within hours it had spread to my hands. Dr. Google told me I had MS. I spent a lovely long weekend in Brighton trying to ignore it (unsuccessfully) and silently worrying, and when I got back home I mentally collapsed.
Since then it has turned to burning sensations, pins and needles (quite painful, like 100s of prickles), and weird tingling. It crept up one leg about three weeks later. Then moved to my face and scalp. I have burning on my face as we speak, and the tingling is still in my hands and feet. I randomly get it on other parts of my trunk now too.
Ocassionally something will buzz, like a finger, or part of my leg. And sometimes I get a weird chill down my spine.
These symptoms have not let up since December. They have been there EVERY DAY. I have been crying non stop for nearly 10 weeks. I am exhausted, and terrified.
I went to the GP (2 actually), they suggested that I have anxiety. I did not believe them and demanded to be reffered to a neurologist (thank God for Bupa) becuase I was so worked up. I literally sat in the GP's office trembling and shaking and crying.
So the neurologist tested me. I told him about how my symptoms get worse in the bath, about the cramps I get, the twitiching, how it's just CONSTANT.
He was certain that it was anxiety too, and sent me for an EMG, Blood test, and an MRI just to ease my mind. Guess what? Both came back absoloutley fine "there is no evidence of any white matter lesions". He said that I have to "ignore the symptoms" and they will go away.
"You are the healthiest person I have seen in a month, I see about 30 people a month just like you, normally there's a little something in the blood test that is nothing to worry about, but you are straight down the middle. Your MRI is fine, your EMG is fine, I am certain - 100% sure you don't have MS, you just have anxiety. Your senses are heightened, the mind and body are not two seperate entities. It's like you have your sensory amplifier on and we have to turn it down."
He said he didn't want to medicate me because normally the reassurance is enough, that I should see him again in 2 months. This was all around the 3rd week of January.
We now move on a month. Well guess what? The symptoms still persist. I can't ignore them, and I'm still TERRIFIED I have MS even though I've had all the tests. Partly, becuse i'm a 26 year old girl (just the right sex and age), and partly becuase I STUPIDLY spoke to someone who actually had MS (who happend to post on a forum I am a member of), who's first MRI happend to be clean.
I'm still crying every day. I'm STILL exhausted. And the symptoms STILL don't let up.
I know the likely hood of me having MS with a clean MRI, 3 health professionals telling me otherwise, AND an anxiety disorder is so rare (I've been suffering with panic attacks since I was 18), but I just cannot seem to shift these horrible thoughts.
I realise that the symptoms probably won't go until I first accept the diagnosis properly, then ignore the symptoms - wihtout asking myslef how and why, but it's sooo sooooo hard - especially when they are so persistant. Seriously - the tingling/pinpricks NEVER leave me. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, but it's always there to some extent in the same places.
I'm wearing my boyfirend out, my parents out (I've been knocking between houses for the past 2 months), and i just feel like an awful person.
1) Has anyone else had symptoms like this that are so persistant?
2) And if anyone has come through the other side - just HOW did you accept and get better?
Sorry for the long post. But I feel better writing.
I've posted on another form, but thought I'd show up here too. I write in hope of firstly, getting ressurance, and secondly, telling my story to reassure ohers.
Just before Christmas (19th December) I woke up with wierd pins and needles in my feet. Within hours it had spread to my hands. Dr. Google told me I had MS. I spent a lovely long weekend in Brighton trying to ignore it (unsuccessfully) and silently worrying, and when I got back home I mentally collapsed.
Since then it has turned to burning sensations, pins and needles (quite painful, like 100s of prickles), and weird tingling. It crept up one leg about three weeks later. Then moved to my face and scalp. I have burning on my face as we speak, and the tingling is still in my hands and feet. I randomly get it on other parts of my trunk now too.
Ocassionally something will buzz, like a finger, or part of my leg. And sometimes I get a weird chill down my spine.
These symptoms have not let up since December. They have been there EVERY DAY. I have been crying non stop for nearly 10 weeks. I am exhausted, and terrified.
I went to the GP (2 actually), they suggested that I have anxiety. I did not believe them and demanded to be reffered to a neurologist (thank God for Bupa) becuase I was so worked up. I literally sat in the GP's office trembling and shaking and crying.
So the neurologist tested me. I told him about how my symptoms get worse in the bath, about the cramps I get, the twitiching, how it's just CONSTANT.
He was certain that it was anxiety too, and sent me for an EMG, Blood test, and an MRI just to ease my mind. Guess what? Both came back absoloutley fine "there is no evidence of any white matter lesions". He said that I have to "ignore the symptoms" and they will go away.
"You are the healthiest person I have seen in a month, I see about 30 people a month just like you, normally there's a little something in the blood test that is nothing to worry about, but you are straight down the middle. Your MRI is fine, your EMG is fine, I am certain - 100% sure you don't have MS, you just have anxiety. Your senses are heightened, the mind and body are not two seperate entities. It's like you have your sensory amplifier on and we have to turn it down."
He said he didn't want to medicate me because normally the reassurance is enough, that I should see him again in 2 months. This was all around the 3rd week of January.
We now move on a month. Well guess what? The symptoms still persist. I can't ignore them, and I'm still TERRIFIED I have MS even though I've had all the tests. Partly, becuse i'm a 26 year old girl (just the right sex and age), and partly becuase I STUPIDLY spoke to someone who actually had MS (who happend to post on a forum I am a member of), who's first MRI happend to be clean.
I'm still crying every day. I'm STILL exhausted. And the symptoms STILL don't let up.
I know the likely hood of me having MS with a clean MRI, 3 health professionals telling me otherwise, AND an anxiety disorder is so rare (I've been suffering with panic attacks since I was 18), but I just cannot seem to shift these horrible thoughts.
I realise that the symptoms probably won't go until I first accept the diagnosis properly, then ignore the symptoms - wihtout asking myslef how and why, but it's sooo sooooo hard - especially when they are so persistant. Seriously - the tingling/pinpricks NEVER leave me. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, but it's always there to some extent in the same places.
I'm wearing my boyfirend out, my parents out (I've been knocking between houses for the past 2 months), and i just feel like an awful person.
1) Has anyone else had symptoms like this that are so persistant?
2) And if anyone has come through the other side - just HOW did you accept and get better?
Sorry for the long post. But I feel better writing.