pinkpiglet
18-02-10, 14:28
We all know that scene from 'The shining' where Johnny is axing down the door to get in! I would describe my anxiety as been like this at the moment!! I am doing my best to defend it but sometimes the fight just makes things worse and I feel that soon I am going to have to start running!!!
Anxiety snook up on me this time and I didnt know it was coming so I wasnt prepared & blimey...dont you forget how it feels?? Little things that terrify you and play with your mind.
I remembered how my heart used to thud in my chest to the point that I could hear it but i forgot how terrifying this sounded. How derealization cuts you off from reality and how it halts you in your tracks but I forgot just how frightening this was. Then theres all the other stuff that comes with anxiety. We remember the symptom but we forget the feeling it gives us.
My anxiety is really paralysing me at the minute, I am worrying too much about what might happen and i just cant stop myself. My eye is twitching to distraction, I feel dizzy, I feel panicky, I feel sick!! Whenever I push myself to do things I get the derealization and the depersonalisation that I detest.
The other day, whist driving on the M60, derealization popped up in the inside lane!! Now thats a new one on me. I never had that before and it freaked me out like never before. I had two children in the back seat for god sake. Anxiety isnt just happy with with getting at me, it now wants to put my family at risk too. Is there no escaping this monster???
I must apologise, I am writing this to get it off my chest so I am sorry if I am rambling. I am hoping that putting all my current thoughts and feelings into words like this might help me. Afterall, NMP as helped me so much in the past. Sharing my fears and feelings with people in the same situation and trying to help others make sense of theres is what got me through this crazy shit last time (excuse my french)
xxx
Anxiety snook up on me this time and I didnt know it was coming so I wasnt prepared & blimey...dont you forget how it feels?? Little things that terrify you and play with your mind.
I remembered how my heart used to thud in my chest to the point that I could hear it but i forgot how terrifying this sounded. How derealization cuts you off from reality and how it halts you in your tracks but I forgot just how frightening this was. Then theres all the other stuff that comes with anxiety. We remember the symptom but we forget the feeling it gives us.
My anxiety is really paralysing me at the minute, I am worrying too much about what might happen and i just cant stop myself. My eye is twitching to distraction, I feel dizzy, I feel panicky, I feel sick!! Whenever I push myself to do things I get the derealization and the depersonalisation that I detest.
The other day, whist driving on the M60, derealization popped up in the inside lane!! Now thats a new one on me. I never had that before and it freaked me out like never before. I had two children in the back seat for god sake. Anxiety isnt just happy with with getting at me, it now wants to put my family at risk too. Is there no escaping this monster???
I must apologise, I am writing this to get it off my chest so I am sorry if I am rambling. I am hoping that putting all my current thoughts and feelings into words like this might help me. Afterall, NMP as helped me so much in the past. Sharing my fears and feelings with people in the same situation and trying to help others make sense of theres is what got me through this crazy shit last time (excuse my french)
xxx