what is wrong with me........

[lilplus1]

im a 23yr old girl,i have a son who is2 and a partner, lots of family and friends and am generally a happy go lucky type. however i cant stop worrying.......and its driving me crazy.
i have always been a worrier, as a little girl i cried alot worrying terrible things would happen to those i love, and in my teens i always worried what others thought of me- however these worries were never a real issue.
in the past year though, my anxiety problems are spiralling out of control.
i find something to worry about, like paying bills etc and obseess about it. and wen there is not a real problem i create one in my head. for example i imagine that my partner and i will argue, he will leave me, i will have to leave our home as i wont afford it,that my son will be taken off me etc etc, i just keep adding more and more to the worrying story i have imagined....... wen i worry i feel so physicall ill, i dont have a panic attack but i feel flushed, hot, have chest pains, shake and feel generally terrified.
i have looked up lots of solutions to my problems but not managed to find anything useful that works. i also wonder what is wrong with me........
not only do i worry, but im quite obsessive. mess makes me feel physically ill. i also have many things that frighten me, the dark and medical procedures...... so im not sure if i have ocd or phobia issues....or if its all just general anxietys!!!!
i suffer from terrible guilt too, even wen i have nothing to feel guilty for.
sometimes the feelings of panic are so strong the only thing i can think is, is that it will be ok in the end because i can die if i want. I WOULD NEVER DO THIS but i use the thought to comfort me wen the feelings are so extreme.....(which has been three times).
i love my life and appreciate all the things in, i just want to get this under control, im scared it will spiral out of my hands. so if any one could help, i would be so grateful. regards, lil

[suzy-sue]

Hi Lil :welcome:,you sound like your Anxiety is really getting bad :hugs:.Its common with anxiety sufferers to get obssesive thoughts .Have you told your Dr how you are feeling hun as I really think he will be able to help you .Ive felt like you have so I do understand .You can discuss your options to what is avaible with regard to Meds and therapy .CBT will .help you with how you deal with the anxiety ,But he may offer you some medication to help you feel better so you can deal with things easier .You could also ask for some councelling as talking is an excellent way of getting to the root of the problem and help you understand why you feel like you do about certain things .There are lots of other things you can do to assist with all these things ,Im sure you will get lots of help & support here too .I m sure you will feel better soon ,and well done for asking for help ,its the first step to feeling well again ..Take care :hugs:luv Sue

[lior]

lots of people on this website suffer from a similar thing. you've come to the right place for friendly support :) but if you really want to grab the bull by its horns, it's a good idea to see a councellor and work out why it's such a problem for you. good luck :) xx

[lilplus1]

thankyou for the replies.......i saw a lot of my doctor at one point, as i was becoming obsessive about my weight and v.depressed (i had gone from a size 8 to a 14 after having my beautiful son) my doctor realised that i was actually just using my weight as something to worry about and suggested i was a perfectionist and set me with up a counsillor. i went to see her and was bitterly disappointed. my brother was attacked 4years ago, and had major head injuries, he lived against all the odds but his life has changed majorly. my counsillor just wanted to focus on this and to be honest although it was a major trauma.....im ok about it now, i really am. although i accept it prob has caused the phobias i feel- the dark, hospitals etc. do i have an anxiety problem???? is it ocd???? what is it??? im so confused.
i posted on here today because i felt so worried a si think i have a hole in my tooth, then i thought i need a filling but built it uo to the point where i thought i need all my teeth removed because they are all rotten, i know its not true, its silly but i wouldnt stop thinking about it. im sorry if im rambling here but i feel really anxious right now and i need to keep writing. im scared to cry because if i do i may not stop. i have the most beautiful little boy, and i know im a good mummy but i feel bad that im letting this worry and these silly silly thoughts do this to me. sometimes im stronger than this, but lately i just go with it. for hours sometimes and then i just lie down feeling drainned but relieved its over. ok im feeling better now. rambling over.
thankyou once again for the replies i really appreciate them xxx

[lilplus1]

i must apologise for my spelling on that last reply...... my mind was racing so sorry, lol x

[lilplus1]

after reading about ocd i defo think i may be slightly obsessive as i worry about shameful behaviour alot and about my bodily image

[suzy-sue]

I would say from what you have told me you are just suffering from Anxiety .You also suffer with health anxiety so you probably have General anxiety disorder ,But I really am not in a posistion to diagnose you .The majority of Anxiety sufferers are perfectionists ,so we make things worse for ourselves .Our minds worry about everything to the point that if there isnt anything there to worry about we will find something .Every pain is a major illness and the tooth scenario is a good example .Im sorry you didnt have much luck with your councelling ,but it can be hit and miss ,unfortunately .If you havnt been back about this to your Dr for a while I would honestly advise you to make a double appointment and go tell him everything you have wriiten on here ,write it down and dont leave until you have said it all .CBT would be worth asking for if nothing else .You could also benefit from reading Dr Claire Weekes book Self Help for your nerves ,I did and it really made me feel so much better ,once you understand why you react like you do ,and what you can do to help your self your half way there .It can be bought from the NMP SHOP ..There is also a wealth of information on the left of this page about certain issues etc ,have you looked at this yet .?Just click onto TheAnxiety Page to start with ,and take it from there .You have been through a bad experience with your Brother and its obviously left its mark on you ,But Im pleased he came through it .Your nerves are shot to pieces and need time to heal ,but they dont when we are anxious .Learning relaxation techniques and deep breathing will also help with the Anxiety levels . Thers always someone on here to give you help and advice so keep posting and let us know how you get on ..Luv Sue x:hugs:

[lilplus1]

sue, i really do appreciate ur replying me. thankyou so much!!!!!
from reading ur post i have decided i will go the doctor, taking with me everything i have written on here.i have looked over the anxiety section and found it really helpful, its funny because as im reading things i find myself thinking, thats me.... and thats me too!!!!! lol.
im feeling much positive than i have all day, just knowing there is some where to vent all these feelings!!!! my partners mother is a great help, as she suffers too, she suggested this site, but i thought no one else would understand because friends describe me as a worrier, but dont understand/cant undrestand the actual extent of this. however knowing i can post on here is going to be a great help!!!!!
so im off to bed now, and hoping tomorrow i will have a good day without these feelings xxxxx