kuddles
04-01-06, 18:36
Hi everyone
im a 26 year old female and have been living on the south coast for a few years but originally from the North. I used to smoke weed recreationally when I was 18 until I had one bad smoke and wham panic attack, I couldnt breathe, I couldnt move, my heart was literally jumping out of my chest, pins and needles etc- it makes me go funny now just thinking about it. Anyway I went to Uni and smoked ever so often and thankfully had no more panic attacks until I was about 22 and experienced another dramatic panic attack after smoking. I remember my heart starting to race then I started to panick that I'd have that extreme panic experience again that I did!
Therefore after that I decided never to smoke again and never told anyone why I stopped as i associated it with smoking and i thought if i dont smoke again i wont get an attack...
Then I lived on my own for a few months which I hated. I used to think when I got home from work that I now would not see a living soul until the next day and what happened if I died or choked or anything then no one would find me - it was such crazy thoughts like this that triggered panic attacks for me again. I was also seeing a bloke at the time that I realised now was mentally bullying me which made me worse. i tried talking to him about my panics i was having and he just laughed and he would say oh god you are not going to start panicking on me in front of people - it was awful.
Thankfully i came to my senses, well he dumped me but im sure i would of finished with him (eventually);o) and moved on.
I have the odd pains but now I know they are just either a: My very poor posture as i work in a office and sit so lazily b: indigestion c: heart burn and any pins and needles sensations are just muscles aches and trapped nerves.
If i started to experience any panic attacks which is not as often now I just call a mate and talk rubbish down the phone or if its late I play a game on my mobile if I dont want to get out of bed which always works.
My panic attacks have turned into anxiety thoughts for me. On the outside I would think people see me as very confident, work hard, always up for a laugh and out most weekends and i think they would be shocked if they read this. My fear is losing my parents as I am close to them and speak to them on the phone alot and my brothers. Im not sure why i worry about this, as i have many good friends around me and my parents are in great health but i think it could be i believe they are a lot older then other peoples parents hence die sooner which is totally mad but hey thats thoughts for you.
My boyfriend knows all about my panics and is probably the reason I do not have them anymore (touch wood) as i was able to talk to him about them. I believe talking about your fears with people really helps and hence im registering on this forum to help people that may not be as lucky as me to have someone they could talk to about their experiences. I went through a stage last year of worrying i was going to choke on my food and drink in front of people as my work is quite quiet and a large office. It god so bad at work that my tea would be cold before i could finish it, the crazy thing was I was fine anywhere else it was just in front of strangers. My fear was embaressing myself and actually a few months ago i did start to choke on my sarny but no one took no notice of me anyway just gave me a slap on the back and i realised the fear i had was no problem at all and I refused to let myself be beaten and just kept buying cups of tea and made myself drink them at work that I now dont even think about it anymore.
What I tend to do now if I do start to drift into anxiety thoughts about losing people im close to or feel any tingles is i will sing out loud, put music on (only advisable if your are in your car/home of course) Or ring someone, write an email anything as I refuse to think 'what i this happened, what if that happened' anymore (My new year resoultion) and Im now starting to feel happier deep inside for this, i knows its only the 4th but i
im a 26 year old female and have been living on the south coast for a few years but originally from the North. I used to smoke weed recreationally when I was 18 until I had one bad smoke and wham panic attack, I couldnt breathe, I couldnt move, my heart was literally jumping out of my chest, pins and needles etc- it makes me go funny now just thinking about it. Anyway I went to Uni and smoked ever so often and thankfully had no more panic attacks until I was about 22 and experienced another dramatic panic attack after smoking. I remember my heart starting to race then I started to panick that I'd have that extreme panic experience again that I did!
Therefore after that I decided never to smoke again and never told anyone why I stopped as i associated it with smoking and i thought if i dont smoke again i wont get an attack...
Then I lived on my own for a few months which I hated. I used to think when I got home from work that I now would not see a living soul until the next day and what happened if I died or choked or anything then no one would find me - it was such crazy thoughts like this that triggered panic attacks for me again. I was also seeing a bloke at the time that I realised now was mentally bullying me which made me worse. i tried talking to him about my panics i was having and he just laughed and he would say oh god you are not going to start panicking on me in front of people - it was awful.
Thankfully i came to my senses, well he dumped me but im sure i would of finished with him (eventually);o) and moved on.
I have the odd pains but now I know they are just either a: My very poor posture as i work in a office and sit so lazily b: indigestion c: heart burn and any pins and needles sensations are just muscles aches and trapped nerves.
If i started to experience any panic attacks which is not as often now I just call a mate and talk rubbish down the phone or if its late I play a game on my mobile if I dont want to get out of bed which always works.
My panic attacks have turned into anxiety thoughts for me. On the outside I would think people see me as very confident, work hard, always up for a laugh and out most weekends and i think they would be shocked if they read this. My fear is losing my parents as I am close to them and speak to them on the phone alot and my brothers. Im not sure why i worry about this, as i have many good friends around me and my parents are in great health but i think it could be i believe they are a lot older then other peoples parents hence die sooner which is totally mad but hey thats thoughts for you.
My boyfriend knows all about my panics and is probably the reason I do not have them anymore (touch wood) as i was able to talk to him about them. I believe talking about your fears with people really helps and hence im registering on this forum to help people that may not be as lucky as me to have someone they could talk to about their experiences. I went through a stage last year of worrying i was going to choke on my food and drink in front of people as my work is quite quiet and a large office. It god so bad at work that my tea would be cold before i could finish it, the crazy thing was I was fine anywhere else it was just in front of strangers. My fear was embaressing myself and actually a few months ago i did start to choke on my sarny but no one took no notice of me anyway just gave me a slap on the back and i realised the fear i had was no problem at all and I refused to let myself be beaten and just kept buying cups of tea and made myself drink them at work that I now dont even think about it anymore.
What I tend to do now if I do start to drift into anxiety thoughts about losing people im close to or feel any tingles is i will sing out loud, put music on (only advisable if your are in your car/home of course) Or ring someone, write an email anything as I refuse to think 'what i this happened, what if that happened' anymore (My new year resoultion) and Im now starting to feel happier deep inside for this, i knows its only the 4th but i