Anger

[MJDancer]

Just wondering if anyone out there has anger problems? Its been suggested to me to look into Anger Management not because im violent but because i have inposive anger which is why im stressed out alot. Can anyone relate and it this the best way to sort it out

[benoo5]

hi mj,

anger management,will improve your quality of life,and also that of people close to you.

in the meantime...talk a little slower,walk a little slower,make a point of eating your meals a little slower...these will,over a period of time,also slow the anger...when you feel snappy,go for a walk,count from 30 backwards,concentrate on your breathing to bring the rate down...buy a punchbag...you can pick up one cheap on EBAY...its good to let off steam,but it has to be done constructively.

best wishes..bryan.

[Samantha]

Hi MJ, i dont let anger out and end up bottling it away, i find just playing a cd (evanesance) really loudly helps as the songs go on i begin to calm down, it works for me but might not for everyone, by the time it gets 2 trak 4 i am calm again.
Are you going to go for this anger management, keep us posted

Sam

Positive thinking is the key to success!

[Meg]

MJ ,

Regular exercise is the best thing you can do for yourself.

If the anger is related or created by anything - then take a look at the cause.

Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Lottie32]

I have problems with anger. Mainly cos I'm not confruntational by nature, and too easy going. People walk all over me sometimes and i let them. Then I spend ages "arguing" with them in my head, and get all wound up.

Meg is right.

I feel much better for going to the gym. Quite often on the tread mill I run over the peoples heads who have hissed me off (figuratively of course).

Then I walk out of the gym all serene and thinking nice fluffy thoughts again.



Charlie

[babs26]

hi,
I too am having real probs with anger at the moment, I explode at everything and get so angry with my kids and my hubby and I dont know why..then Itend to collapse in floods of tears..its awful but guess it will get better in time?

[Meg]

But what's behind it Babas, is it fear in disguise, frustration, hormones- plain irritable.

Being anxious is very anger provoking especially if you're really cross about how you feel each day and we tend to either take it out on others or take it insiide - neither is great so exercise and really trying to grips with the cause of it is preferable.




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[stimpy]

Hi MJ Dancer,

I'm just the same, I bottle everything up and then bam! I spin like a tazmainian devil.

I find using my punchbag or a cushion helps.
At least they don't hit you back!

I can be doing something totally irrelevant and for some reason, something that happened years ago can pop right into my head and flashback at me.

It is always better to tackle the cause, but if you can't, then venting your spleen with heavy exercise is the next best thing.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[Lottie32]

Ooh Liz

I'm glad you said that! That quite often happens to me too. I'll be doing something, and then all of a sudden I'm really cross, remembering something that happened years ago, and sometimes even with somebody I haven't seen or heard from in years!

I end up having a head fight with that person!

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[MJDancer]

Thanks for the advice anyone.

I 2 sometimes have headfights about someone that p**sed me off when i go out at weekends. i also dont forget things that irritate me aswell. I tend to snap at the little-ist of things wether at my girl or at the kids. im always tense at work after talking to customers all day. (im thinking of a career change)but i think that buying a punch bag would help alot its also gives me an excuse to blast out my music (MJ)

[Lottie32]

Good idea

You could always get fit by punching in time to the music (played V loudly)

What a time saver - get fit and rid yourself of pent up anger at the same time!

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[jonny]

Hmmmmm,

This post has got me thinking...really thinking.

I get wound up very easily but i, like most of you it seems, never let it show. When i am driving i am swearing like mad over trivial motoring matters and at work i often think that everything goes wrong and that winds me up too. If i sit down and look at it logically then i suppose most of the time they are normal, everyday incidents that are part and parcel of everyday life but i do let them get to me.

I suppose i am trying to say i am NOT laid back at all, my life is governed by the clock and internally i am on constant overdrive!
Maybe it would be better for me to adopt a more relaxed approach....convince myself there is always tomorrow. But i never really thought of this as anger and i think it could well be. Everything angers me all the time. Grrrrrrrrr.

is anger management for me ? It is it just a case of stress management?

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

[Meg]

Jonny,
Maybe with you its a case of allowing yourself to vent whatever emotion it is that youºre feeling at the time be it frustration
, joy, sadness and then it wonºt blow up out of all proportions which emerges as an more extreme emotion such as anger or anxiety ...


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Samantha]

Hi everyone, i know this is going to sound strange but since so many have posted on here i know youll understand when i say, how do we let anger out? With me i feel as though i cant let any out as i dont want to upset ppl by asking them leave me alone, or moaning back or something. At the moment i feel it reaching a certain point and i know as soo as it crosses this point i will snap and do something i regret, but how do we stop this happening?
Sam

[sarah]

Hiya Sam

Its all self control. We restrain ourselves because we know that if we dont there could be consquences.
Having said that, you cant let people bug you if you dont want them to. Its all a matter of balance...asking people nicely to leave you alone, make polite excuses to leave etc
The only thing is though, that by keeping it in is can cause stress so we have to let it out somewhere. Here is where the great idea of a punchbag comes in. Doing exercise, dancing. I find really loud music and singing my head off relieves my stress a lot. Its all down to what works for you mate.
love Sarah
xx

[Meg]

A windswept beach in winter does it for me.

Meg

[uryjm]

Cycling clears all my negative emotions. An hour's worth of biking in the fresh air wipes away the worries, the negative thinking, the suppressed anger. I was once reliably informed that anger is a close neighbour of anxiety and could be a contributary cause. But it's potentially one of those circular arguments: I'm angry about being anxious, which makes me more anxious, which gets me more annoyed!

Jim