Friends: hard to meet, harder to keep

[MissG]

I apologise in advance.
I don't even know what to say. My social anxiety keeps me from meeting friends. I know it does. But my insecurities keep me from keeping them. I'm so unsure of myself and so scared and vulnerable that I struggle to believe that people actually wanna talk to me. So I ended up pushing them away or breaking down and making a fool of myself. Then I'm scared to make more friends in case I do that again.*I find it hard to make conversation with people as I feel like they're judging me or that I'm annoying them. I avoid answering the phone as I can't even talk to people over that without feel ill and sick with nerves.
A wise lady (she knows who she is) told me that no one can like you until you like yourself. Easier said then done. I'm trying. I am. But it's a constant struggle.*
I'm not an easy person to know, I get that, but I am a nice person. I used to be fun and witty and good company. I used to be such a happy person. I'll get her back I know I will. I just hope it's not too late.*And I hope someones still around to meet her.

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to get it out.*
Thanks xxx
*

[Mr Parfect]

If anyone here knows what its like to suffer from self-imposed social isolation, its me.

Up until a few short weeks ago, I had the smallest circle of friends you could imagine, but now even that has gone, and a part of that, in turn, has been down to me pushing them away.

As you elude to, I recognise that I am a 'nice person', albeit with very dark thoughts at times. However, being nice doesnt necessarily mean others will take to you. Maybe somehow looking comfortable as you are will convince others whom you come into contact with that you are not fighting yourself from within.

I think my social skills are awful, and range of conversation highly limited, which means people do get bored of me very, very quickly. This is why I need more work done on developing some form of social skills.

[alihud]

Practice practice practice is my advice.Get all the help you can,cbt counselling etc.It does make such a difference.Was there something that happened that set this off?
I have been there myself and am still battling,always at the back of my mind that people dont like me but you can turn that around and say how many people do i actually really like?Are they good for me?I really understand about the liking yourself thing,so important.
I could say i've been let down by alot of people but now i realise they just werent good for me and i had to move on,cbt is a wonderful thing to learn and it really really helps to get your confidence back.:yesyes:
Ali xxxx

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Miss G

Just a thought but have you thought about chatting to people on here via Private Massages. That way you wont have to see them face to face and im sure it will build your confidence for those real life encounters.

But remember you can be friends with or even please everybody you meet but that is not a fault. Real friends are people who know all about you and love you anyway.

Marc x

[munkeyinblack]

I just thought id reply to u ,

Youve done so well over the past few weeks. youve came on leaps and bounds and you need to give urself credit for that. U have an illness that wont be cured over night but u are fighting so hard and i know youll get there !!

Keep up the smiling and hello saying thing , youl be surprised how many people answer you. You still are lovely and fun just a bit lost at the moment

Im always here ok ? dont try to run before u can walk - your doing sooooo well you should be proud of u ! cause im proud of u :)

Munkey xxx