simms
06-01-06, 10:59
Hello everyone
I suffered from my first panic attack on the london underground in the early morning rush hour on the way to work in March 2004 initally I laughed off the first panic attack thinking it was a one off, however it was so scary I felt the urgency to get off the train early even though I had many more stops to go (I had to make the long tube ride from the east side of the central line all the way to the west, which is many stops). The panic attacks became more frequent and got worse until I could not function and had to give up work. I started having them at home also.
Basically I initally has an hyper thyroid which was not controlled well with medication but funnily enough I never felt ill or had any panic attacks which is normally expected when you have this condition to my doctors bewilderment however when I had radio active iodine in Nov 03 to completly destroy my thyroid gland I became wildly hypo thyroid (the complete opposite of what I was before). I was not aware that I was hypo until I had the panic attacks and had a blood test done. I felt so unwell, so rough all the time, depression you name it. I thought I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. Doctors said I would get better once I took thyroid repalcement medication but said it may take a few months before my thyroid levels where balanced out again. I did get better but felt anxiety/depression on and off. My doctor referred me to a occupation theorpist because he thought that I should have got better with the thyroid mediation and diagnosed me as having anxiety problems which were not related to my thyroid condition. The theorpy did me good as I found that my anxiety/panic could have been attributed to many things rather than just my thyroid condition in March 03 my father died (he was my last parent as my mother died when I was 14), I was made redundant in Aug 02 also the job I was in when I had my first panic attack was very stressful. These things were upsetting but I did not feel the stress at the time (except for the job) so the theorpist said basically sometimes you can have a delayed reaction to stressful events. I plucked up the courage to find a temping job in Nov 04 and battled through that for 6 months and had good and bad days. Some days I felt so bad but I just went into work anyway as it took my mind off things and I had a good laugh at work with a colleague who I had made good friends with (he was not aware my problems). After temping I was referred by my OT (occupation theorpoist) an organisation that helps people with finding training and employment who have mental health issues which was good for me as they held an assertiveness course and it boosted my confidence and bonded with others who also has panic attacks. I actually ended up working for the organisation to but found that it was not for me and gave that up. I'm now training to become an HGV driver [:O] which is a vast change for me as I've always worked in an office but I feel that it may suit me as I've always preferred my own company and like driving. However I had to have a medical yesterday for my provisional HGV licence and had a panic attack just before my medical. I thought I was going to blow my chances as my heart rate was sky high and he would think something is wrong with me which made me panic more (damn that visious panic cycle) but I managed to calm down and passed the medical. I still have my bad days but I would say in the last year or so I've had more good than bad days. So always look forward to the good days as the bad make them that much sweeter. :)
PS sorry if the story is a little confusing. I could have wrote much more and have missed out on many details so end up chopping and changing thins to the point they may not make sense.[:I]
I suffered from my first panic attack on the london underground in the early morning rush hour on the way to work in March 2004 initally I laughed off the first panic attack thinking it was a one off, however it was so scary I felt the urgency to get off the train early even though I had many more stops to go (I had to make the long tube ride from the east side of the central line all the way to the west, which is many stops). The panic attacks became more frequent and got worse until I could not function and had to give up work. I started having them at home also.
Basically I initally has an hyper thyroid which was not controlled well with medication but funnily enough I never felt ill or had any panic attacks which is normally expected when you have this condition to my doctors bewilderment however when I had radio active iodine in Nov 03 to completly destroy my thyroid gland I became wildly hypo thyroid (the complete opposite of what I was before). I was not aware that I was hypo until I had the panic attacks and had a blood test done. I felt so unwell, so rough all the time, depression you name it. I thought I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. Doctors said I would get better once I took thyroid repalcement medication but said it may take a few months before my thyroid levels where balanced out again. I did get better but felt anxiety/depression on and off. My doctor referred me to a occupation theorpist because he thought that I should have got better with the thyroid mediation and diagnosed me as having anxiety problems which were not related to my thyroid condition. The theorpy did me good as I found that my anxiety/panic could have been attributed to many things rather than just my thyroid condition in March 03 my father died (he was my last parent as my mother died when I was 14), I was made redundant in Aug 02 also the job I was in when I had my first panic attack was very stressful. These things were upsetting but I did not feel the stress at the time (except for the job) so the theorpist said basically sometimes you can have a delayed reaction to stressful events. I plucked up the courage to find a temping job in Nov 04 and battled through that for 6 months and had good and bad days. Some days I felt so bad but I just went into work anyway as it took my mind off things and I had a good laugh at work with a colleague who I had made good friends with (he was not aware my problems). After temping I was referred by my OT (occupation theorpoist) an organisation that helps people with finding training and employment who have mental health issues which was good for me as they held an assertiveness course and it boosted my confidence and bonded with others who also has panic attacks. I actually ended up working for the organisation to but found that it was not for me and gave that up. I'm now training to become an HGV driver [:O] which is a vast change for me as I've always worked in an office but I feel that it may suit me as I've always preferred my own company and like driving. However I had to have a medical yesterday for my provisional HGV licence and had a panic attack just before my medical. I thought I was going to blow my chances as my heart rate was sky high and he would think something is wrong with me which made me panic more (damn that visious panic cycle) but I managed to calm down and passed the medical. I still have my bad days but I would say in the last year or so I've had more good than bad days. So always look forward to the good days as the bad make them that much sweeter. :)
PS sorry if the story is a little confusing. I could have wrote much more and have missed out on many details so end up chopping and changing thins to the point they may not make sense.[:I]