The Broken Heart

[Horse]

I wonder how many of us are suffering anxiety because of what someone once did to us?

I believe the reason most of us are the way we are is because of the past.
When I look back over my own life, especially the past 10 years, I realise that everything or everyone I have ever loved has either left me or died. Consequently, my anxiety has got worse during those years. So much so that I cannot remember a time during my 45 years of suffering since I was 10 years old, that I have ever been so bad with nerves!

Yes, I know it's all to do with 'letting go' but what happens when we don't know how to let go? Most people with broken hearts normally go on to 'let go' and 'accept' and live their life and love again. But what happens when we become just a shell of our former self and our hearts are broken beyond repair?

I know they say that time heals but when it continues to be painful for years and years, then to me there is something wrong!

What I'm trying to say I suppose is, how do you really let go of the past? I don't mean things like go for walks or watch a happy DVD or something. I mean something longterm!

As anxiety sufferers, we do not usually lead normal lives. Some cannot go on holidays, some cannot even go outside. Some cannot look forward to meeting someone new because we have lost all our confidence and self esteem, and beside, who would want someone like us anyway? I know I wouldn't want to go out with me!!! It's as much as some of us can do to drag ourselves out of bed in the morning because we feel like crap!

So, if someone has any ideas on 'Broken Heart Surgery' and a cure for such, I feel sure they will become extremely wealthy one day.

Horse.

[RosieXXX]

Hello Horse,

Each one of us will have a different story to tell, but I am sure many, including me, have suffered as a result of negative influences. It is really hard to rebuild confidence once it has been taken away, but the key is to find a way to believe in ourselves and to take a chance to reach out to others without fearing rejection. I know this is easier said than done, especially when self esteem is low, but once we learn to give of ourselves again it is surprising how much we can receive. It is difficult for anxiety sufferers to move on in the same way others do, but I think being able to communicate our thoughts and fears - as you have done - is a step forward. There is no easy answer is there - but just knowing there are other people who can relate does offer some comfort, even if there is no easy solution.

[marley]

What a great post! I think it touches a nerve in a lot of us - there's so much about anxiety that creates and breeds our insecurities. It's so hard to find an end in that, because it's internal.

Have you ever seen the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? They play on the idea of being able to erase the memory of a broken heart. It's quite interesting, the psychology involved in that.

I think my health anxiety is definitely related to a particular relation I'm involved in. I've been emotionally WRECKED over the last 3 or so years... fed to the sharks, and I think my brain and my body have just carked it. Maybe this is a breakdown I have to have so I know who I am?

It's odd - feeling this poorly and insular really makes you concentrate on yourself, and you start to see things trivially that may have bugged you in the past. I'm starting to give a sh!t about myself, rather than concentrating on one particular relationship.

Thoughts, thoughts.

[Lauz]

That post was perfect, it compeltely described how I feel about my anxiety, a broken heart!
Always been the what if child, but I was always able to control it, it never took over my thoughts etc.
Since the death of 2 family members and a close friend in a span of 4 months and all so suddenly and medically related my life had a huge wake up call. Not being around death in my life till then I realised that this does all really end one day. I always knew this and it never bothered me but to feel the heart ache I did and didn't I guess is for better words my anxiety showed up.

I really don't know what the answer is to mend a 'broken heart' but all I know is that I need to be greatful for what I have and enjoy every single moment and not let the little worry me so much anymore.
I need to stop worrying every single time I feel something in my body and automatically think 'what is wrong', I would never used to have done that prior to my losses.

The one thing I have noticed with my anxiety is that I don't smile as much anymore ... BUT that is changing and each day the smiles come back for longer and I feel happier!

I wish everyone the best at this!!! It is tough but we can all get through it!

[onceagain]

Hi Horse

You said it a broken heart... I witnessed alot as a small child, watched mum hurt dad drunk and abusive... and then broken family unit ... with weekend visits from dad...

My friend Darren died electrocuted whilst on caravaning holiday, my friend Monique died from lukemia... I was shy and scared... people seemed to come into my world just to hurt me and this continued into my adult life... My marriage aggressive, unfaithful and controlling, my children became the broken home kids... my best friend Mark died he had diabetes and had a heart attack... I met someone and he lied and was unfaithful... bullied at work and then met the guy I'm with now after dating a few bad eggs... fell completely in love and was crushed with more lies and deceit...

I not only don't love me but can't see why anyone else would... I feel ruined and ugly and I feel I've never had anyone who would love me above everyone else.... I know I can love...I do..but my fears stem from giving love only to be hurt over and over... trust always an issue self esteem always an issue, I feel I'm the ugliest person ever after childbirth..and my ex told me quite clearly others would be repulsed by me...

I hit the depths of despair through others actions...but sometimes I escape ... I go into a world where it is me and only me... no hurts no worries I enjoy animals nature, dancing and being daft... it doesn't last forever but it gives me a glimpse of the real me lost to a broken heart... who would think that a heart broken over and over repairs and can have the ability to love and hurt again...but hope you are hearing that Horse we love! we care... we are good so that must stand for something right?...

You probably like myself and others know we can love and care and feel, the problem is that we have to find people not just in close relationships but in our lives who can find that same capacity for US ((hugs))