does anyone else get angry????

[babs26]

Hi,

I have suffered from panic for four years on and off but since my last reoccurence in November I have also started to suffer with really angry feelings. I lose my temper really easily, have become quite paranoid that people are talking about/laughing at me and get angry with my kids really quickly. I also have intense feelings of not being able to cope very well and being a rubbish mum and wife. I dread each day as I know I have to get through it, I get jealous of how easy a lot of people seem to find life and I find it an endless struggle and so hard...I was wondering if anyone else found this at all?

[mico]

Hi Babs,

You sound like you've got a hint of depression. Anxiety can be frustrating at the best of times, not being able to do what you want to do, feeling uncomfortable in the simplest situations. Every now and again it gets me down a little, you feel helpless like your never going to improve. You need to try and keep a focus on what you want to do, don't compare yourself to other people. Say if you make some small steps forward and then you look at the achievement you've just made then you can see it as a good thing. On the other hand, if you take small steps and then compare yourself to other people then your progress can seem insignificant compared to what other people are doing. You need to remember that these 'small steps' are actually big steps towards a more confident life.

Try not to get yourself down too much, think positively towards the future.

Hope this helps

mico

[Rennie1989]

bab26

i may not be a wife and mother but i now how ya feel

i h8 every school day as it is gonna be a struggle to cope people swearin at me and my ex-m8 starrin and followin me. i always have my p.a. there aswell, and very painful chest pains.

jade

[Meg]

HI Babs , Maybe there is also some frustration here that youºre translating into anger ..

Meditation, exercise and watch what youºre putting in your mouth sugar wise !


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[bananarbabe]

Hi Babs,

I have also had the same feelings. I've been talking to a psychologist and utilizing talk therapy when my frustrations come up.

Chris

[Lottie32]

I get angry too

I think its partly frustration at having to battle anxiety and partly feeling ratty cos being anxious is so physically and mentally draining.

I don't do lack of sleep and being tired very well (as my friends will vouch for)

Also, I am frustrated, as my life is not how I imagined it would be, and a lot of it I can't do anything about.

Do you have any issue that you are not happy about? Maybe you have to work, when you would rather be at home being a mother to your kids? Sometimes, even little things can cause a build up of anger.

Invest in one of those inflatable punch bags from Argos, of some stress balls, or go running. Letting off steam physically is a good way to release tension.


Charlie

[babs26]

Thanks everyone.

Yeah, I have depression too and post traumatic stress disorder caused bya violent relationship I was in. While my life was hard, now I have 4 beautiful kids and a hubby who adores me but sometimes I feel like packing my bags and leaving. I dont work as its not worth my while with the child care costs and I think sometimes I resent my hubby as he gets out of the house more than I do. I have made an effort to remedy that by going to a mum and toddler group but sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a parent. I had all my kids really close together so effectively since 1998 I have been pregnant virtually every year and feel as If all I am is a mum and nothing else. I wouldnt mind if I was good at it but Im not, I just yell and shout and cry all the time and I dont want my kids remembering their mum like that. I feel so down and fed up and really I ahve no right to as I have a lovely family a nice home and a pretty good life. I feel selfish for suffering from depression, slefish for having panic attacks and worry that people think I do it for attention. I really am starting to think my kids and hubby would be better off without me as all I do is shout or cry or moan at how bad I feel.

God, bet I have depressed everyone else now!! am sorry guys!!

[Lottie32]

Have you considered going to the docs and discussing medication?

Four children in such a short space of time would be enough to send most people over the edge! I know I couldn't handle that at all. Be proud of yourself. Do you think maybe you could have a touch of PND. After so many kids, it would be quite likely.

Have you discussed this with your husband? Could you make arrangements to get out more for a few hours and have some "me" time.Do you parents live nearby? Or would your husband have the kids one evening.

Then you could meet some friends for a drink or a coffee, go swimming, or for a massage, or join a class and learn something new. Anything really to get you out of the house and make you the number one priority for a few hours. If this isn't possible for the time being, then make some time for yourself at home. Pick one or two nights when your husband is responsible for the kids, get a nice bottle of wine, or some luxury hot chocolate, some expensive bubble bath, a good book or your favourite magazine. Lock yourself in the bathroom and indulge yourself for a few hours.

Are you doing anything about your past abusive relationship? I have a friend who really struggled to come to terms with her childhood. In her adult life it was causing her a lot of distress and leading to other problems. She spoke to the doctor, and saw a counsellor for a while. She felt a lot better for doing it. Sometimes terrible things happen to us, and we think we are dealing/coping with them, when really we aren't, and they still need addressing.

Do not feel bad about your suffering. It is very common to feel guilty. This is because you are NOT a selfish person really. If you think about it you can always see somebody worse off than yourself, BUT this does not help! You cannot help how you feel. Try to turn your guilt around by trying to find things that "lift" you. Anxiety, panic, depression, they come up behind you and before you know it, they've dragged you down. Nobody asks for it, and nobody wants it. You cannot stop if from happening, but you can stop it from worsening, and you can take action to recover your life. It is not logical to feel guilty because you are suffering, but we all do it! I wouldn't wish being me on my worst enemy, but I still get distressed that I feel like this so often.

I think there are times when we would all like out of our lives and would love to be somebody and somewhere else, and you shouldn't feel bad about feeling like that.

Try and take some pro-active action, and hopefully you will soon start to feel a bit better.

Take care

Charlie

[babs26]

Thanks Charlie, I am having a really bad day today and am full of cold which I think is magnifying things a lot. I do suffer from PND and have done after each of my kids, at the moment I am taking sertraline 150mg a day and Diazepam 5mg as and when I need it. I just totally feel as if I cant cope with every day life. I have made one positive step, I phoned my health visitor today and told her how bad I am feeling so she is coming to see me tommorow to try and sort out some help for me.

As for the past abusive relationship, I have been backwards and forwards to my docs, telling her how bad I feel, so I get referred to what they call the first access mental health team , which see you for 6 weeks and then decide as to whether they think you need to see anyone else. Each time they have decided I am fine and dont need to see anyone after them when I so obviously do. My mum lives with us as she had a heart attack about 6 years ago and cant do that much for herself so I guess thats added pressure for me too, she does what she can with the kids but tires very easily (shes 69) and was in and out of hospital last year.

I said to my mum today, I feel like packing my stuff and dissapearing and it upsets me so much that I feel that way as I love my kids and my hubby but just dont seem to be able to cope with looking after anyone other than myself, and that sounds so selfish.

[Lottie32]

OMG Babs

You are so strong. I looked after my gran, and without being unkind, it's just like having another kid, but bigger, heavier and more argumentative.

Really am convinced now you are being too hard on yourself, 4 kids and a nearly dependant mother is an awful lot to deal with!

You really do sound like you need a regular break/relaxation slot, some time out for yourself. I'm tired just thinking about your routine.

Is there a responsible adult who you could perhaps pay to look after the kids one afternoon a week, who could come to the house?

Are you unhappy with your doctors? I've been refered on from the community mental health team and am having treatment, and I'm no where near as stressed or anxious as you.

I don't know enough about the meds to comment, but could it be they don't suit you, or the dosage isn't right for you? Meg will be able to advise, but she is on holiday this week. However, when I was suffering from my panic attacks, I was given beta blockers to use "as and when required". Maybe this might be an option for you. I also had diazepan prescribed, but was too anxious to take it!!!!!

Do you have any friends who could give you a hand? I'm not sure how your finances are, and what you can stretch to (hope I'm not being too personal) but could you perhaps afford a cleaner a few hours a week? That would give you more time, and might relieve the stress a bit?

I was involved in an abusive relationship (mental not physical) and it was horrible. I don't think anybody can truly understand how much it affects you unless you have lived through one yourself.

Needing to escape and spend time on your own to relax and recover does not in anyway mean that you do not want, love and need your family. Please do not feel guilty that you feel like this.

Do you have any relaxation tapes? I have a good one, and if you want a copy, you can e-mail me your address through the members section at the top of the page.

Even twenty minutes taken out from your day to listen to the tape might help.

Having a cold brings most people down, so please do not be too hard on yourself for having a worse day.

Look at some of the earlier posts from Stimpy (Liz). She couldn't do anything at all, and is now much better. It may help to give you the reasurrance that you WILL get there.

I hope you get some appropriate support and help from the health visitor tomorrow.

Let me know how you get on. Get an early night with a lemsip, and hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[stimpy]

Hi babs26

Welcome to the sertraline and valium club! (Snap! - same meds - same dose)

Sertaline are good, but they take anything upto 6 weeks before they begin to work, and they may not suit everyone.

I know those feelings well - Resentment, responsibility, selfishness, guilt and anger for feeling all those things and more.

Talk to your health vistor and tell her exactly how you feel and ask her to refer you to some agencies who may be of help to you.
There are services out there, but sometimes you have to pester them to death in order to get the help you need. But once the help comes through, it is worth it in the long run.

There is nothing wrong with having the feelings you have, it is your brain and body's way of saying - whoa! too much stress.
And there is definately nothing wrong with needing a break and some quiet time, and you shouldn't feel guilty or angry about it.
No one can run 24 hours a day.

Everyone feels the need to run away, and there is nothing wrong with that either. Running away is great in the short term, as it gives you the me time you need. But give it 48 hours and you will realise that you miss the hecticness of everything.

Charlie is right, having a cold, feeling tired and being tough on yourself isn't going to help.
The harder you are on yourself, the worse you are going to feel about things.
You are NOT rubbish. You have coped with so much, and all you need is a break.
You are NOT going mad. You are stressed out, tired and in need of a rest.

Asking for help does NOT make you a bad person. You don't need to cope with things alone.

Good luck with the health visitor.





Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[babs26]

thanks guys, was having a really bad day the day i wrote my last post.
Am doing a bit better now, have had my sertraline upped to 200mg and my gp has referred me to see a cpn, so hopefully that might help. i just want the anger to calm down, i hate feeling as if i have a huge knot inside me and am going to explode. it kind of scares me who or what i might explode at!!!

[alba]

Pls Its Me Now, Everyday I Am So Angry I Am So Irritated, I Get Angry The Whole Day, And So Angry Inside Of Me, I Cant Even Smile Or Be Calm I Just Feel Like Running Away, I Hv Been In Bad Stress Lately Becos I Am Buillied At Work And Hv Also Some Verbally Abusive Relationship , But Now Better, I Suffered Bad Stress All These Years. I Hv Been So Patient, And Calm But Lately Ihv So Many Panic Atack, Anxiety, Fall Sick, Mentally And Physically, Now I Am So Angry With Myself And Ppl Around Me, Ifeel It's Is So Unfair Abt World, Why Good Ppl Like Me Always Get Buillied And Bad Ppl All Get Best Thing In Their Life. They R Clever To Twist Up And Down And I Am Always A Victim. I Am Sad Depress Losing Of Hope. Nowadays I Get So Angry Fast.hlep.what 1st Thing I Should Do?