Cant get lymphoma out of my mind

[Mackenzie Anne]

I am feeling very panicked, I know you all can't help me or diagnose me I need to see a doctor but Im really starting to become unglued over my current fears. The swollen nodes in my throat 2-1\2 months now. I keep having this ache in my armpit mainly the left one but sometimes the right one too! I think my spleen hurts, I keep getting sharp intermitten pain on my bottom left ribs into my back. I get occasional minor night sweats (back of neck) Last night I felt so sick to my stomach I couldn't sleep. Im confused about my armpit aching because I have felt this many times before on and off, this started when I was 23 or so, I am now 29 but this is more constent. The nodes in my throat, have not gotten any bigger but are still there. I have been developing these funny bruises on my upper legs that are blue in color and then fade like a normal bruise but these do not hurt. I am really fearing Lymphoma and or Luekemia. I am 100% sure I have this. Why else would nodes stay up so long? I do have what I think to be allergies, I wake up stuffy and sneezing especialy in the morning, some sinus pressure beside my nose and a achey head. I had a ER doctor check my throat nodes on November 3rd and she was not concerned but this is rediculous! I know I need to see my doctor but I don't have insurence right now and already owe a heavy sum in medical bills. I don't know what to do... I know Im going to die! I know I need to see a doctor this is the only way Ill know forsure. I am paralized with fear!

[nell1965]

anne
sorry you are feeling so bad, do you know someone who has lymphoma ? I just wondered if you did when you seemed so sure of the symptoms!!! You know that all the things you have listed can be explained away seperately, please do not symptom surf as you will always come up with a bad result.You certainly do need to see the doctor though to put an end to this turmoil that you are in,you are right when you said that we cannot diagnose you but we can offer you support and tell you that no matter what the doctor does say that we will be here to help you through it, im sorry about the insurance thing,its difficult for me to understand as our system different from yours, but your anxiety is worsening your physical symptoms tenfold , you need to find a way to see a medic to put your mind at rest, the more you convince yourself that you have something wrong with you the more symptoms you will have, im sorry i cant be more supportive but its amedical exam that you need
take care

I just want my life back
nell
x

[molly15]

hi nells right you do need to see doc to put your mind at rest as im sure this is wat he will do .a lot of it sounds like tension i hav always had pain under my arm or arms like u had it for years and its tension.the more you worry the worse it will get.i no i was at the doc again this morning because of my chest pain and had to go for reasurance .he probably is fed up seeing me but thats wat he is there for and doesnt seem to mind.it must be hard because you hav to pay over ther we hav free healthcare hear so that must be awfull for you .but is ther no way you can access any free services.anyway remember all these ilnesses u think u hav ar very very rare .i no its hard i am going through same thing just now.i hope this helps a bit let me no how u get on take care marcia xx

marcia lowe

[Meg]

* I know Im going to die! I am 100% sure I have this,*

No, you don't know that you are going to die from this, you don't even know that there is anything wrong at all so you need to stop catostrophising so much and keep rational. A visit to a doctor would be ideal but if you cannot go then you need to accept the randon sensations that you have and move on. Lymphoma doesn't take 5 years to develop.

In the unlikely event that it were either of the two very different illnesses you cite, then you will soon know as you will have other health problems that come and then you will need access to medical attention.

Meanwhile, you could try humidifying your bedroom a bit more and keeping it cool at night, drinking more water and see if that helps your nose issues.

Doing some extra exercise and ensuring you are well hydrated may help with your nodes.

I wish you well and hope you find some medical help.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Mackenzie Anne]

If I could just stop catostrophising everything and keep rational I wouldn't have a Health anxiety problem. I wouldn't even be on this forum, I would be just fine dealing with things the way I should be dealing with them.

It's not like Im just dealing with sensations, I have real lumps, this morning another one poped up right under my jaw and it HURTS! It just came over night.

I do feel I have this because of my negitive thinking, I really feel unable to think happy thoughts. I guess this is why I have a dissorder, or at least it's part of my OCD and GAD.

Anyway, thank you all for you words

[molly15]

hi i no how scared you feel but the lump under your jaw sounds like a spot under the skin ive had many of them and they ar really big.i no how hard it is .i feel the same about every pain or symptom.i hope thers an answer one day but try and focus on something else.i wish i could be so logical with myself .take care marci axx

marcia lowe

[Forrest]

I have been down that road back in 1996 with lymphnodes swelling!!!Thinking the worse as you mine would swell all you need is just a few simple blood tests cbc and a liver blood test just to see why your nodes are swelling they can swell from a simple cut are scratch are from a few bad teeth and as well all know axiety rakes havick on are immune systom!!!and as well just a little bug you can get can make them swell as well even though you dont fill sick!!If they stay hard and dont hurt they have them checked out your left side nodes are always bigger then your left keep that in mind!!!But please dont go googling about swelling lymph nodes because it say all kinds of crazy things because i did it a long time ago and it made thing very bad!!!having health axiety its not good to go looking on your symtoms trust me!!!But by what your saying its not lyphoma that in most cases hits fast!!!you probley have a little bug and with you worring alot threw your immune systom out of wack..

[EmmaJane]

Hi Anne,

I cant help with diagnosis, but I can tell you, I had EXACTLY the same symptoms over xmas. I thought Leukimia (cant spell it). This did all come out after a few months of being very highly stressed. After I tried to calm down and think rationally, which was very very hard to do. These symptoms started to dissappear. I must admit my mind, did then wonder onto other symptoms, which I am keeping at bay now.

I advise you to definately see a doctor, purely for piece of mind. If (which im sure theres not) anything wrong, then it can all be treated now days.

I do understand how you are feeling. If you want to msn, email orPM me then you are more than welcome.

Although, you are probably asleep, or worrying as I write this.[8D]

Take care of yourself and deep breathing/meditation may help calm the mind.

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

[Meg]

I appreciate Annie that if you didn't catastrophise that would wouldn't be here. You and lots more of us. You're in good company.

Our role is not to collude with these catastrophising thoughts or to simply sympathize- there are plenty of sites out there who do just that - but to put the rational view to you so you can make desicions and start to see things from a balanced perspective instead of such a one sided definite one so maybe you can start to keep an open mind rather than self diagnosing without any formal clinical evidence.

You are totally right, it is indeed part of your bigger picture and your intrusive negative thoughts

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Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[lainey]

Hi there

I am sure many of your symptoms are associated with anxiety as others have said.
As Meg has said symptoms of lymphoma do not take 5 years to develop, I should know as my husband had it 2 years ago and he is now in total remission.
You must try and see a doctor if you can just to reassure you.

Take care

Elaine x

[Mackenzie Anne]

Okay I am a little cofused, I am trying to figure out where in my posts that I stated that you could have Lymphoma For 5 years? Because I keep hearing this in the replies and I never stated nore do I think one could have lymphoma for 5 years without knowing it. What I said was that I have felt this pain in my armpit for 5 years.

Lainey, I am so happy to hear that your husband is in remission, this is fabulous.

I am not to sure where I got this lymphoma scare from. I new one person who had it at birth of all times and he survived. I met a man a few moths ago who had Lymphoma that mastisized to his brian and he died, I didn't know him I just met him once and a week later he was dead.

My grandfather died of lung and throat cancer when he was 58, my Grandmother just passed away last summer, my aunt had Cervical cancer at 28 she was cured. 3 months ago she was diagnosed with Bladder cancer and her daughter my 25 year old cousin has Ovarian Cancer. My fathers 32 year old freind just passed this year from Ovarian Cnacer and he told me all about it. So this past year has been just full of Cancer diagnosis and it runs on my fathers side of the family. I guess Im stuck on lymphoma because of the lumps and the occational night sweats, I had one this morning and the night before.