It sounds like Cancer after all

[mothermac]

Just thought I would come on here and let everyone hear my news.Those of you that may have read my past threads regarding my toe and the possible melanoma it might be will know I have been waiting for the result of the biopsy that was taken last week.
I have been so worried and couldn't stand it anymore so I phoned the consultants secretary today and badgered her to tell me anything to put me out of the madness,I wish I hadn't as at first she said it wasn't back but when I burst into tears and pleaded with her to have a look on the system just in case she instantly went quiet and the tone of her voice changed.I said it's back isn't it?and she said yes it is.
I asked her if it was cancer and she said at first that they don't give out that type of information over the phone(understandable I know)and the doctor will have to tell me.I asked again if she could tell me anything that would give me something to cling onto so she just said what I can gather is that there is something wrong but I don't think it is malignant whatever it is.
I instantly knew she meant a melanoma and I shook from head to toe when I came off the phone.I am going back to the hospital clinic anyway tomorrow morning for them to check my wound on the toe that was already organised so she said that she would get a doctor to have a word with me when I go in if she can arrange it.
My husband had a meeting in the morning which he has now cancelled so he can come with me,what was a simple appointment in a dressing clinic has become a major life changing event.I have a 7 yr old daughter and trying to keep it together tonight has been so difficult,I have had some horrible thoughts and images in my mind and hardly ate anything at teatime only a bowl of rice krispies.I won't sleep tonight either and I know the silence and the dark will just terrify me so I will sit up and read or watch tv until morning.
I have phoned my colleagues at work and the duty manager has been brilliant,she has told the boss and they said that everyone was gunning for me, and my family who I told were very supportive as well.My mother cried and so did my husband at one point but surely it doesn't look like maliganancy sounds promising right?????
The specialist who I am under is off until the 10th of march so won't another doc tell me?.I am surprised that the result was in this morning and the lab didn't flag it up or get someone to ring me today,I had to ring myself.I just want someone to tell me it's going to be ok ,I am absolutely terrified and feel physically sick inside,please help me!!!!!!

[nomorepanic]

Hi there

If it isn't malignant then doesn't that mean it is benign - so not cancerous?

Sorry if I am mis-understanding this.

[bottleblond]

Hi Mother


I think this is what they mean when they say they can't give out this information over the phone. Only a doctor can understand what the results of this test mean so this lady has only gone on what the screen in front of her has told her and that is that it's not cancer!

Please try not to worry and jump to the wrong conclusion.


Lisa
x

[barbn]

I agree with Lisa here - the truth is you don't know anything as of yet! As hard as it is, try to stay calm and keep your mind busy! Please don't go by what the consaltants secretary said - I am sure she is wonderful at her job, but has she gone to medical school - does she know how to read test results (I know I wouldn't have a clue). Mothermac - you are going to be FINE!

[MOMINPANIC]

Maybe I'm missing something, but didn't you say that the lady told you there was something, but she didn't think it was malignant? I think that would be good news! I know how anxious you are, and I'm sure I'd be the same way if I was you. Please let us know how your appt goes tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

[Acidomoduso]

I understand you probably won't sleep tonight but try not to worry (easy for me to say, right?). The fact that she said it wasn't malignant is definitely a positive. Also, the fact that the receptionist told you and not the doctor is a positive. The doc will be the only one who can decipher the results.

I will most definitely be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow. From the bottom of my heart... good luck!

[Adelle]

Hi, Ive been waiting to hear how you have been, waiting with baited breath for your results. A few years back I had symptoms ( what I thought was cervical cancer ) I went for a pap test and was worried sick for the results. They took longer than usual for the results to come back. I rang everyday with no results and the lady on the phone said it doesnt sound good taking this long. Well i went into a severe panic on the phone and demanded for her to get results. Finally they came in and even though they knew of my HA and my major concerns and I also lived an hour away they refused to give them to me over the phone and said to come down the next day. Well I honestly thought the worst. I walked in the drs office and he just said "yep, all is fine with your results"....I was so relieved but to angry. What I am trying to tell you is yes there was something under your toe and shes not allowed to tell you what it is or probably doesnt even know the medical name for a bruise etc. If it was cancerous you would have been called immediatly and it would say on the results malignant melanoma in plain english and she would see this, so I think you are fine. My heart goes out to you as I know how you are feeling. Been there many times with my moles. Make sure you let us know the good news tomorrow.xxxxx

[smudger]

Thinking of you matey. Know you won't sleep tonight no matter what we say but sounds like everything will be fine.xx:hugs:

[randomworry]

hi mothermac i totally understand how you feel.......please try and distract yourself as best as you can.
From what the secatary said it is likely not to be something serious as they did not give you a call. For example when I had a blood test and found out I had very high thyroid levels the doctor called me in and this is not as serious as your fears.

Stay strong im sure that the news will not be as bad as you anticipate. Also sounds like you have a great supportive family to help you along.

take care

[randomworry]

reading back over from what you said mothermac you probably were scared because the secretary voiced changed- i think this was just because she was taken a back when you cried and did not know how to react and when she said 'something is wrong' that is definatley NOT to say it is anything serious.

all the best

[mothermac]

Thanks all of you for your wonderful replies,I am still up at this time and no doubt will read my book into the wee small hours.All of your support is greatly appreciated and many many times in my life I have had a testing time and coming on here and having great people talk to me and give me some commonsense(something I haven't got a lot of-lol)is invaluable.
I will post tomorrow whether the news is merry or not and let you all know what's going on.Thanks Adele for taking the time to wonder how I was getting on,it's lovely to know I am in someone's thoughts even if we haven't met.I will carry all your good wishes in my heart at 11.15 am tomorrow-fingers crossed.xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Good luck - but if they say melignant then all is ok

[Dying_Swan]

Hi MotherMac.

Just wanted to send you my best wishes. I went through something similar at Christmas with a lump in my neck. I don't have HA, but I was totally convinced it was lymphoma, and even the scan report came back as 'suspicious'. It was fine in the end, but I totally understand your fear. It is terrifying, and waiting for results is a total nightmare. I also understand the confusion of trying to decipher medical secretaries!! Christmas Eve I did the floods of tears on the phone thing, and they still wouldn't tell me!

I think the fact that she said she didn't think it was malignant is a very positive sign and I hope that reassures you.

Anyway, thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for you. I am sure it is going to be ok :)

[Debdaw]

Hi - I think its quite likely that the secretary sounded strange because you put her on the spot and she didn't know what to do because she knew she wasn't allowed to give out any information on the phone. If you're anything like me you will have been 'analyzing' the sound of her voice and her words to confirm your fears of the worst, and almost anything she could have said (other than you're definitely in the clear, which she wasn't allowed to say) would have 'confirmed' it in your mind.
Good luck for tomorrow anyway, I'll be thinking of you.

[Acidomoduso]

Good luck today, MotherMac! :hugs:

[pollyanna]

good luck for today, will be thinking of you, and sending you lots of postive and calm thoughts.


Tc


P X :flowers:

[sb001f8994]

Good luck today.
Hugs x

[EmmaJane]

Hi mother,

I wish you all the best toy and hope ll is ok. I'm sure the lady wouldnt of said it wasn't cancer if she wasn't ure or her job could be on the line!. I know how your feeling about these results, but please not all outcomes are a we anticipae them to be.

Thinking of you

x

[sunflower7]

Good luck today. Am sura all will be fine.

Take care :winks:

[Rachel W]

My prayers are with you. I am sure that she would not have been able to say that she did not think it was malignant if it was. I am sure that she was confused by what her rules of conduct are (i.e. no test results over the phone). I always think this is scary in a way, because you expect them to blurt them out if everything is fine, but I think that they have the rules that no matter what, results are given in person so that people would not automatically panic if results were not given. It keeps everything on a level playing field.
As mentioned. They like the doctor to give results so that he can explain what is going on, even if it is just a hematoma.

I know that you will have already gone. Please let us know how you are. We are there for you.

God Bless.

[ladybird64]

It is so easy to misinterpret things over the telephone but I can understand how worried you must be.

I'm thinking of you today :hugs:

[mothermac]

I have just come back from the hospital and the news is brilliant. The doctor came in and said that they did indeed find something that should have not been there but there was no malignanat cells found which was good news.I have to go back next week for them to check it again just to be aware of any changes and that will be that I think.
Thanks and thanks and thanks to everybody's kind word and messages of hope and love,I came on here as soon I got in and was amazed at how many people had replied to my post.I did go to bed last night after all as I got a headache and luckily for me my poor troubled brain knocked me out and I didn't wake up until 6 ish.
I will keep posting and let you all know if it keeps ok, but for now it is a positive outcome.Lots of Love Mothermac xxx

[ladybird64]

Ooh, I didn't see you there...we posted at the same time!

So happy for you to have a good outcome, time now to relax and unwind.

:bighug1::bighug1:

[sb001f8994]

Really good news mothermac, this is brilliant and a weight off your mind.

Very best wishes x

[smudger]

So pleased for you matey. Thats brilliant.xx

[pb]

Great news x

[Acidomoduso]

Yay! Brilliant! :hugs: :yesyes:

Good for you.

[pollyanna]

thats great news, :)

You now deserve to relax an treat youreself over the weekend, you must be exhausted with the worry of it all, i would have been exactly the same.

tc

P x

[Maj]

I'm so happy for you. You can now relax and enjoy your weekend without this hanging over your shoulder. That's just brilliant news:yesyes:
Myra x

[ZoJo]

Really, really pleased for you....big hugs :hugs: x

[MOMINPANIC]

That is such great news!!

[Dying_Swan]

Fantastic news. I'm thrilled for you :yesyes:

[mandie]

Hi

great news :hugs:

mandie x

[Rachel W]

Yeah!!! I am really happy for you. Everything will be fine. Something benign caused it... end of story. I like happy endings!!! :yesyes:

[mothermac]

What marvellous people you all are for taking time out of your own lives to come on here and wish me well.I have had a very nice day today without the black cloud hanging over my mind,I went into town and had a look around the shops,I didn't buy much but I wasn't bothered really.It's easy for meto say now that I look at life differently,but it's a little bit true,I normally would get upset about trivial things like the house been untidy or the bathroom towels getting left on the floor but last night I tried to put into context,if I had a bad result none of that would have mattered anymore so I should apply it now.I don't suppose it will last but for now I feel fine and I appreciate all your love and support you all have given me over the past few weeks.XXXXXXXX

[Adelle]

Thats such great news. Im so happy you got that beautiful feeling of being told you are fine....... xx

[LeighD]

Fantastic news. I am so glad to hear it. I know exactly what you mean when you say you see the world differently after news like today - even the smallest thing can give you happiness.

I still get that feeling five years later when I come back from my "Mole Patrol" with the all clear. And I'm sure you are exhausted after releasing all the stress you have been carrying around with you for the last few weeks. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to a few of your favourite things, and celebrate the great news.

Have a brilliant, brilliant week.

Leigh

[djsandra]

thank God that you are fine, I felt really sad for you when you first posted the news that it might be cancer after all...but I am really happy that you are fine.:D