On the verge of panic.

[pheetuz]

Ive stupidly just watched an episode of "skins" which is usually a light hearted tv show but this episode was rather dark, the character was suffering psychotic depression and losing the plot, the episode culminated in her trying to kill herself. This episode has pretty much summed up all my fears atm and punched me in the face with them and has really set me off big time, had to get out of bed and turn the light on and come on here to try to distract myself.

Have been feeling really bad all day though, just been having major mood swings, from feeling ok-ish to really really depressed in the pit of my stomach - could be anxiety, can hardly tell the difference between the two any more.

Just feeling really gutted, ive been feeling pretty good recently, been getting very stuck into uni and havent been feeling too anxious at all really until the other morning when i woke up feeling really really anxious and its been a bit wierd from there on out really.

Have started taking 5HTP within the past week and im wondering if that might be something to do with it as i was taking it 6months ago when i had my first panic attack, anyone taken this before and had any unusual reactions ??

Just feeling really down in the dumps now, i thought i was starting to put this all behind me :'(

On the verge of panic atm, really dont feel like i can cope with everything and feel like im losing the plot bigtime .... I know full well these are anxiety symptoms but they feel all to real.

So fed up with this, just want my life back!

Sorry to rant but just needed to say how im feeling...

[Anxious_gal]

well I watched too and it did remind me of a dark place I was in , my teenage years. But what made me sad is that she had someone who loved her and wanted to help her.
when I got depressed my family kicked me out for a month until I agreed to go back to school.....
but you were feeling depressed all day? what kind of thoughts were having?
sometimes watching a good comedy or movie can help or listening to happy music.
the worst thing I find is to let my thoughts get too negative!
I try to think of all the good in my life, like I had one really good day and next week am going shopping with a friend.
it can be hard but there is some light in all this darkness :-)

[pheetuz]

Phew, thank feck thats over, didnt break into full blown panic last night, managed to calm myself down and get some sleep, although it was close.

Sorry to hear about you teenage years mishel, doesnt sound pleasent.

I dont really know why i was feeling low yesterday, as i said its just mood swings i think, all started off at uni in the morning when i just got that sinking feeling in my stomach and started to feel really alone, I stuck it out untill lunch time and then went home, only to come back in later for my next lecture and completely zone out for two hours.

It was during this lecture that i was very much inside my head, having thoughts about how i'd screwed my life up, wondering if life would be different if i'd never taken drugs, wondering if i was ever going to recover, just horrible thoughts that i know i need to stay away from but couldnt - thats one of the worst things about all this, not being able to think whatever i want to think without some adverse emotion getting in the way.

And after that i had a training course which through no fault of my own i was late to which made me feel anxious walking into a room of about 50people late, set my heart racing a bit but again i kept it under control.

It wasnt until i watched that episode of skins that it set me off, just the character in that had happen to her exactly what im afraid off.

Thought I had put panic behind me and just had anxiety to deal with now but alas lol.

/Pete