Always think i am going to die of cancer

[scjj]

Hi,
Am new on here but not new to anxiety. I have suffered for 11years and been on medication since this amount of time. I have just tried counselling again as i am recently married and hae a superb family relationship and would like to banish the anxiety once and for all.

My recent problem is i have some moles that i am paranoid are cancer, I am seeing a dermatologist but its all worse because my dad had a cancerous mole and is under review but 'touchwood' we caught it and its been nearly a year since.

I live a normal life and am a HCA in a hospital so deal with death on a daily basis. However i am totally parnoid when it comes to my family getting sick or me getting sick and am always convinced i am going to die even if i have a headache! i think its a tumour, if my elbow hurts ive got bone cancer etc etc., Does anyone suffer like this and struggle to keep a normal work/life balance when the anxiety shows again??

I would appreicate your experiences and also any way you can help me get over this once and for all!

Thanks all,
Sc

[salimali]

Hi Sc,

Im also new to this forum and I also have HA and stress related issues I believe. My husbands got cancer and I lost my best friend 3 years ago and have lost my dad and other close family members. We have two toddlers as well and I am totally panicked about becoming ill myself and not being there for my husband and kids. I also think that every ache and pain I feel is cancer. I had to go to the breast clinic when I was 38 weeks pregnant and the worry sent me insane, I just dont cope well with tests or investigations etc.
If you are worried about your moles, go and see yout GP, im sure if you expain to GP why you are worried (your dads illness) then they will take care to reasure you. And look at it this way, your dad caught his early and has been ok, so in the unlikley event that it is cancer you will be dealing with it early.
I hope you feel better soon, HA is hard work:)

[sammie23]

Hi hun. My biggest fear and the reason i have anxciety is because everyday i think i have cancer or that im going to die of a horrible death.. Im only 24 with a beautiful 3 year old and pray everyday that this horrible fear will one day go away. You are not alone hun and just remember when you think it remember that i will be too hun because i have the same fear as you xx

[scjj]

hiya, thanks for the reply, i just wish i knew how to get away from these thoughts, wish there was some help somewhere or suggestions to stop these automated thoughts, my sensible head tells me they are ridiculous, i drive myself mad sometimes! you take care x

[randomworry]

yeah what you describe scjj is health anxiety but cbt can help with the irrational thinking habit

all the best

[EmmaJane]

hi,

i could give you hundreds of thoughts that race around in my head and my experience, but it would take forever xx

[andrea thompson]

hiya

snap ---- i have a similar story... recently had a bout of depression and anxiety which has developed into health anxiety... i like you am driving myself round the bend... its really hard at the moment and its wearing me out... one good thing though i have been through this before years ago and i got over it... and was leading a normal healthy life... mine has returned after a miscarraige. hormones are a big part of all this for me.... lets just hope that we all feel better soon... i am trying really hard to break the cycle of negetive thinking... but its hard!!!!!

take care

andrea x x

[pussy cat]

snap - i suffer with it as well,my types of cancer change week by week & its exhausting,at the moment it,s bone cancer !!!! the mind is a very powerful thing & i try my best to argue with it as i know it,s all in the mind-sometimes it works sometimes it doesn,t - all i can say is you are not alone & hopefully it will pass good luck x:)

[scjj]

thanks all, im glad you understand what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind! keep in touch xx

[PoppyC]

Hi
I can understand how you feel. You are not alone.
I try to stay realistic about health issues but due to anxiety I find it isn't easy. I always think the worst!
As anxiety sufferers we are bound to think the worst of any given situation as that is what anxiety does. :mad:
I was worried last week beyond belief (I wrote a post about it) because my gp called me in to see him urgently, - same day -after having blood tests a few days before, to be told I had pernicious anaemia.
I really thought he was going to tell me I had full blown cancer. I was in a really bad state of panic.
I was able to cope with the diagnosis of pernicious anaemia, - that didn't bother me - but now today I have been contacted by letter by the hospital, as they want me to see the haemotologist as an 'urgent referral' - so I am now thinking Why??? and already I am beginning the thoughts of ' Oh my god its going to all be eventually diagnosed as cancer of the blood, and that is why I have the anaemia'!!!! :wacko:

[stacy1912]

Hiya

Every single day I am convinced I have terminal cancer. I feel like crap all the time and every ache or pain is cancer. I never imagine things to be a simple muscle strain or normal aches and pains, it is always cancer. I am convinced my doctor is missing things and I am slowly dying!! I feel embarrassed also as so many people are facing terrible illness and smiling though it whilst I am beating myself up everyday and writing myself off!

I think it stems from being a parent and feeling such immense love for my children, I hate the thought of being taken from them. I never consider that precious time with them now is hampered by my morbid mind! I am taking Mirtazapine which helps me sleep and no longer have huge panic attacks about it all, but, nothing can change your actual thoughts and I still now suffer as I always have.

I hope we all find some peace from this awful HA.

Take Care :hugs:

[Ewansmam]

I am sooo glad I found this forum. I am going out of my mind with worry that I have cancer. Every time I am ill I think thats what it is. I've had every type of cancer going. At the moment I think its ovarian cancer because I had a bad back last week and now I have period pain. My boss' wife was diagnosed with it in February and ever since then I've been plagued with ideas that I have it. I have had 2 significant bouts of depression in my life, the last one when my son was born 5 years ago. Since then my anxiety has been off and on and I can control it more often than not. I find that when other things are stressing me out though it seems that I can't talk myself out of it. I'm terrified that I'm going to die and leave my 2 little boys without a mother. I'm 37, I'm not overweight, I don't smoke and I eat healthy most of the time. Yes I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to die from cancer one day. I can't tell my husband because I don't want him to think I'm a nut job (which lets face it I am!) I'm just glad I'm not the only one :-)

[lauralooboo]

Hi scjj,
your soooo not alone. I have suffered with health anxiety for as long as i can remeber, i have kids and am happiy married and long for the day i can go about my life normally without worrying about my health. I too think the worst with any issue, a headache is a brain tumor, stomach upset is stomach cancer..swollen glands is lymphoma...it so gets me down, i get so depressed about it and cannot concentrate on anything but my health when my anxietys are high:weep: im not saying its normal..whatever normal is!! but there are sooo many people who feel the same and experience the same issues....this site has helped me realise that :)
xx