bonzarinababy
07-01-06, 17:47
Hi
First of all sorry for not being on here in the week – it’s cos I’ve been back at work and I’m rubbish at doing anything when I get home form work except sit in front of the tv cos I’m so tired… anyway… so I went into work tues & wed and all was ok ish (mainly because I didn’t have to speak to anyone really I think) but Thursday I was having a bit of a wobbly day, then got asked to attend a meeting… really didn’t feel like it but made myself go, spent first 20 minutes or so having the typical ‘I’m going to gave a panic attack’ ‘no you’re not’ argument whilst sipping my newly found rescue remedy in water – which I think eventually helped calm me down and I was alrightish. Armed with my rescue remedy Friday was okish too, so I went to Boots last night and bought Aspen and Mimulus to take too.
Woke up this morning feeling quite perky so, as I have an interview on Wednesday, decided to go and get my hair cut (but get panicky when at hairdressers, as I know quite a few of you who post on here do). Had my Aspen and Mimulus in water and sipped it all the way there but about half way through the cut started to feel really bad. ‘don’t worry’ I told myself ‘you’ve got your rescue remedy in your pocket, go to the loo and take it and you’ll feel a bit better’ – so I did (feeling stupid asking to go to the loo mid-cut) came back, sat there and twitched and fiddled and fidgeted, desperately trying to think of anything other than panic, or alternatively trying to tell myself it was ok I was having an attack and to just go with it cos I’d be ok – but nope – I had full blown I HAVE TO GET OUT NOW feeling and told the hairdresser he’d have to stop. He was sooooo lovely about it, so much so that I then started to well up, just to add to the total arse I was making of myself. As soon as I got out, of course I felt absolutely fine and have just come home feeling incredibly downhearted as a) I haven’t ever had to actually leave the hairdressers before and b) I have an interview on wedneday and the last two times I’ve had interviews I’ve had panic attacks, so although before I told myself this one will be different, now I’m convinced I’m going to have an attack at this interview and therefore obviously not get the job :(
Any advice on how on earth I’m gonna get through the interview would be massively appreciated – I do have beta blockers and diazepam left over from when I used to have attacks before, but both make me a bit drowsy and spaced out, and I have to take tests at the interview so not the best option me thinks… trying really hard not to be negative about it but really not seeing how things are gonna work out well on wednesday :(
Thanks for reading my massive post – sorry I know I waffle on…
BB x
Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.
First of all sorry for not being on here in the week – it’s cos I’ve been back at work and I’m rubbish at doing anything when I get home form work except sit in front of the tv cos I’m so tired… anyway… so I went into work tues & wed and all was ok ish (mainly because I didn’t have to speak to anyone really I think) but Thursday I was having a bit of a wobbly day, then got asked to attend a meeting… really didn’t feel like it but made myself go, spent first 20 minutes or so having the typical ‘I’m going to gave a panic attack’ ‘no you’re not’ argument whilst sipping my newly found rescue remedy in water – which I think eventually helped calm me down and I was alrightish. Armed with my rescue remedy Friday was okish too, so I went to Boots last night and bought Aspen and Mimulus to take too.
Woke up this morning feeling quite perky so, as I have an interview on Wednesday, decided to go and get my hair cut (but get panicky when at hairdressers, as I know quite a few of you who post on here do). Had my Aspen and Mimulus in water and sipped it all the way there but about half way through the cut started to feel really bad. ‘don’t worry’ I told myself ‘you’ve got your rescue remedy in your pocket, go to the loo and take it and you’ll feel a bit better’ – so I did (feeling stupid asking to go to the loo mid-cut) came back, sat there and twitched and fiddled and fidgeted, desperately trying to think of anything other than panic, or alternatively trying to tell myself it was ok I was having an attack and to just go with it cos I’d be ok – but nope – I had full blown I HAVE TO GET OUT NOW feeling and told the hairdresser he’d have to stop. He was sooooo lovely about it, so much so that I then started to well up, just to add to the total arse I was making of myself. As soon as I got out, of course I felt absolutely fine and have just come home feeling incredibly downhearted as a) I haven’t ever had to actually leave the hairdressers before and b) I have an interview on wedneday and the last two times I’ve had interviews I’ve had panic attacks, so although before I told myself this one will be different, now I’m convinced I’m going to have an attack at this interview and therefore obviously not get the job :(
Any advice on how on earth I’m gonna get through the interview would be massively appreciated – I do have beta blockers and diazepam left over from when I used to have attacks before, but both make me a bit drowsy and spaced out, and I have to take tests at the interview so not the best option me thinks… trying really hard not to be negative about it but really not seeing how things are gonna work out well on wednesday :(
Thanks for reading my massive post – sorry I know I waffle on…
BB x
Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.