RP64
01-03-10, 00:18
I am new here.
I have had 3 previous times in my life when I suffered clear adrenaline overload type symptoms but nothing like what I will describe now.
I developed insulin dependent diabetes in 2008. I gave had low sugar episodes and have treated them even in high hills.
On my 45th Birthday I was due to take part in a detailed activity. Suddenly I felt like I was underwater and would pass out, I didn't but haven't ben the same since.
By the way , I drink way too much.I do this to cope with the stress of the equivalent of 2 full time jobs, always saying yes and always running, running from one thing to another and adjusting the gears in my brain to deal with it. My role in life often involves aggresive verbal confrontation and occasionally the risk of some physical conftontation too.
These attacks have got worse, I am terrified of passing out, I have fought them but 2 days ago they got me badly. I felt the world ebbing away, traffic noise and voices affected me, my head span and my limbs quaked, I could nor be near people and had to leave the activity I was on, I felt like curling up and literally dying but almost ran home, one of the worst feelings is feeling that you are not in the place you are in, like to are watching your life play out on a screen and that you are many miles away, totally detached from the physical environment , it felt like some evil mocking hawk was swooping on me from every side and would take me out, it felt like my head was being crushed in a vice and my chest muscles felt stressed (I have experiances of left sided constant neck pain like a trapped nerve).
I canot describre the feeling on terror from INSIDE, no threat from outside could ever match it, this was the one time when I felt I would die but when I got home I was vert calm within minutes.
In that week I had done 4 potentially acrimonious presantations and spoke 8 times at a tense meeting as well as working with difficult other issues ar work. My job may be gone in spring.
That week I was constantly running from one place to another, I really feel like a rest and to be -well, nurtured a little but my world does not allow it.Would it be ok just to have a rest, just a week to think about nothing, no more "Runaround".
I may well have damaged my liver through drinking and I have not kept in touch with mt GP cos I am frankly ashamed.
Today, another detailed activity with lots of people, dreadful feelings of fantness and nausea and vertigo but I got through it, this is hell but I do not lay down and die, I will not.
I have had issues of childhood bereavement (Mum's suicide when I was a baby) abuse in the cub scouts when young, going into care but a productive life nontheless seeing things that maybe others would not see and helping others but it is all disolving in this quicksand of panic, this is all I can say now but please anyone, help id you can (By the way I am seeing my very good GP in 2 weeks). I have never had symptoms like these, but my worst fear is letting others down.Sorry if this is garbled
rp64
I have had 3 previous times in my life when I suffered clear adrenaline overload type symptoms but nothing like what I will describe now.
I developed insulin dependent diabetes in 2008. I gave had low sugar episodes and have treated them even in high hills.
On my 45th Birthday I was due to take part in a detailed activity. Suddenly I felt like I was underwater and would pass out, I didn't but haven't ben the same since.
By the way , I drink way too much.I do this to cope with the stress of the equivalent of 2 full time jobs, always saying yes and always running, running from one thing to another and adjusting the gears in my brain to deal with it. My role in life often involves aggresive verbal confrontation and occasionally the risk of some physical conftontation too.
These attacks have got worse, I am terrified of passing out, I have fought them but 2 days ago they got me badly. I felt the world ebbing away, traffic noise and voices affected me, my head span and my limbs quaked, I could nor be near people and had to leave the activity I was on, I felt like curling up and literally dying but almost ran home, one of the worst feelings is feeling that you are not in the place you are in, like to are watching your life play out on a screen and that you are many miles away, totally detached from the physical environment , it felt like some evil mocking hawk was swooping on me from every side and would take me out, it felt like my head was being crushed in a vice and my chest muscles felt stressed (I have experiances of left sided constant neck pain like a trapped nerve).
I canot describre the feeling on terror from INSIDE, no threat from outside could ever match it, this was the one time when I felt I would die but when I got home I was vert calm within minutes.
In that week I had done 4 potentially acrimonious presantations and spoke 8 times at a tense meeting as well as working with difficult other issues ar work. My job may be gone in spring.
That week I was constantly running from one place to another, I really feel like a rest and to be -well, nurtured a little but my world does not allow it.Would it be ok just to have a rest, just a week to think about nothing, no more "Runaround".
I may well have damaged my liver through drinking and I have not kept in touch with mt GP cos I am frankly ashamed.
Today, another detailed activity with lots of people, dreadful feelings of fantness and nausea and vertigo but I got through it, this is hell but I do not lay down and die, I will not.
I have had issues of childhood bereavement (Mum's suicide when I was a baby) abuse in the cub scouts when young, going into care but a productive life nontheless seeing things that maybe others would not see and helping others but it is all disolving in this quicksand of panic, this is all I can say now but please anyone, help id you can (By the way I am seeing my very good GP in 2 weeks). I have never had symptoms like these, but my worst fear is letting others down.Sorry if this is garbled
rp64