How s**t can life be

[looby]

Hi all,

could do with some support and any advice today.

I found out lastnight my best friend (the one with cancer) has been told she's only got 2 - 3 months left.
I really don't know how to handle it. I am absolutely devastated. For some stupid naive reason I thought she was getting better! How f'ing thick am I!!!!!!!!!!

I spoke to her briefly after I found out and didn't have a clue what to say, she sounded fine.
Me and my other 2 friends are going to see her next weekend, she is staying with her mum down south.

I just don't know how to handle it. I was sobbing last night and today I am just numb.

I've had a huge fight with my dad on the phone about it and hung up on him, I even said good bye to him before I hung up, not very affective hey!!!!My dad was really insensitive about it and called it a "little thing" that my mates dying. I just lost it with him.

and if 1 more family memeber tells me that my mum and dad are just worried that I may slip back into the depression, I think I may end up in prison!!!!!!!!! All I wanted was their support, but all he could think about was me taking a day off work.

Thanks for reading my rant, and any spare hugs going about I wouldn't mind one being chucked in my direction .

Thanks,
L

[Meg]

Looby

I'm so sorry to hear about your friends cancer progressing so fast.

Big hugs coming your way for the duration.

Love
Meg x

[molly15]

hi looby im so srry to hear of your friend.im sending you lots of love and hugs xxxxx

marcia lowe

[EmmaJane]

Looby, im sorry to hear about your friend. Its all things we dread, but in reality is very different. I will be thinking of you both and we are here for you.

Nigel what a lovely post you wrote.



Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

[Karen]

So sorry to hear about your friend Looby.

We are here for you.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[seh1980]

BIG hugs for you Lobby

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

[southernstar66]

So sorry to hear about your friend and think i can understand a bit how you feel. In August my boss was diagnosed with cancer and she died in December. It was very progressive and left us all with mixed feelings of emotions which we all found difficult to cope with. A lot of people didnt understand but people all mean different things to different people and it doesnt really matter what your link is with that person it affects you. Her funeral was on my birthday and was a really emotional and difficult time. I think what other people have said is true you have to go with what you feel. It is quite normal to have the feelings you are experiencing and it is a journey which you will both travel. Be assured that you are not alone. Take care SS

[looby]

thank you all so very very much.

I had just stopped crying and now you've all started me off again with you being so nice and supportive.
She is hopefully coming home at the weekend so I can spend quite a bit of time with her. thankfully.

Again, thank you all so very very much.
L
xxx

[kitty]

Babe i'm so sorry to hear about your friend

dont really know what to say really apart from i'm here if you wanna just chat n let it all out hunni.

You have my msn addy n mobile num so anytime hunni day or night i'll be there ok hunni.


((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

[pips]

So Sorry hun.

BIG BIG HUGS coming your way.

Take Care,

Love PIP'S X X

[looby]

thanks again.

Kitty, i think you may have got me mixed up with maybe loopy.

L

[Lottie32]

Without wanting to depress you even more, the key to dealing with depression is how you look at life. (God that doesn't even make sense to me, and I wrote it)

You are speaking to the girl, who, just when she thought that life couldn't get any worse - well it jolly well goes and does. Everytime. I've learnt to stick two fingers up at it, have a bit of a sob, maybe drink a little too much vodka, and then fight back.

Cancer is a nasty horrible stinky disease, and I have lost most of my family (maternal and paternal) Hmmmm - wonder how I'm going to die??? and quite a few of my friends with it.

It only seems to target nice people, and people you are fond of. It may be that I'm pretty sensitive to this, but when was the last time you heard of a multiple murderer getting cancer and dieing??? It just doesn't happen cos life is just bloody unfair.

My advice to you, to avoid any depressive spurts is to only phone your parents when you are so up you will be imune to their stupid comments (are your parents related to mine??? there comments seem rather too close to the bone for them NOT to be related), and most importantly to just be there for your friend.

Spend as much time with them as they want you to, do what they want to do (it often seems bizarre that they want weekend away having fun, when all you want to do is sit in a darkened room holding their hands), but having said that - if you only had a short while left, would you want to be reminded of it?

The really sad thing about getting older and growing up, is that you start to loose people around you. And the awful part of growing up is learning to adjust to these horrible events.

In my experience (and actually I've had several), it actually helps to do as many normal, and hopefully fun, things with your friend. One of the last memories of my dad is taking my friends dog (who I was looking after for a week) for a five mile walk around our house. We cover hill and dale, stream and river, road and footpath, and when we got to our house, my dad went inside to get the dog a bowl of water. I had to pop to the loo, and next minute I could hear :

(from my dad) "I don't bloody believe it ..."
(from my mum) " Ooooh Gerald, the lawn the lawn"
(dad) "Five mile, five bloody miles"
(mum) "Oh right in the middle - how disgusting"
(dad) "Five bloody miles and you wait till your home and you s**t on the lawn"
(mum) "Oooooh Gerald"
(dad) "Shut up you silly woman and pass me the shovel, it can go straight in the bin"

Ok, so it may not be the sort of thing you want writing in an epitaph, but it did (and still does) make me laugh.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with this - if you need some "me" time take it, and take a lead from your friend - if she wants to discuss it, or needs nursing, she will tell you. It's very difficult, but by being with her, you are making her last months happy and full!

Good luck with what will definitely be a very difficult time

Love


Charlie

Nemesis - Rita QofS I JFDI'd THEM!!!!!!

[SickofIt]

looby,
I am sorry to hear the news of your friend. Take care.

[berry-nice]

Sorry to hear about your friend, I can't imagine how u feel but all the best hun <3
xx

~*Rachel*~

[looby]

thanks again!

Charlie, you are a being after my own heart!!! Bring on the voddie and tissues!!!! You have made me laugh you nutter!!!

well, just to update you all, i saw my friend friday night and she looks fantastic!! So good than in a long time which makes it harder to understand and accept.

She is in good spirits and is getting married in 3 weeks!
The hardest part was when she saying about selling her house and making a will, my God how I didn't start crying I'll never know!!!

I know exactly what you meant about evil murderers not getting cancer and as my mum would say "only the good die young!" not that I have ever understood that but hey ho, life's a bitch and then you marry 1!!!! that's another saying i picked up years ago, unfortunately it was by a man, but it still makes me smirk to this day!!!

Please take care of each other and remember no problem can not be solved with a hug and a good chat, oh and a few tears an a voddie helps some people too.

thanks again!
l
xxx