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EleC
01-03-10, 15:59
hi there,

Im new to this site, although I have visited a number of times.
My issues are as follows, I started to have panic attacts about 4 years ago when my life was really wrong, went to the doctor who prescribed me Paroxetene, which helped me a lot, had councelling etc..the problme is, I think my body has learned to panic at almost anything, whenever I get stressed about anything, I go into shutdowm mode, stop eating, sleeping which in turn makes me feel worse, and I end up in a vicious circle, the recent event which I would like to know if anyone else has gone through is, I am being investigated for kidney problems and had to have a CT scan, as a precaution I had to take a pregnancy test, and it was positive, which although we have been trying for 1 year, was a complete shock, and I instantly started to panic, everyone arround me was thrilled to bits, but all I could feel was absolute fear and dread and ' why am I not happy about this?' do I really want this, so I then had to stop taking paroxetene and from that moment on, I spiralled out of control, wanted to end it all, stopped eating and sleeping and just continually got worse untill I ended up seeing an oncall physc who just kept going on about 'the baby' and the effect this all had on that. I felt like screaming 'what about me!!' I was then put on prozac as this is safer in pregnancy, but then I started to bleed, which was awful, but a part of me was pleased that I was bleeding, which is a terrible thing to think, I could not believe the way I was and am still feeling to be honest, and surprise surprise, I ended up miscarrying at 6 weeks, which I was very upset about, but have been in a state of panic ever since, and now have this major fear of getting pregnant again, will not let my partner near me as I worry that those awful feelings will come back again with a vengance. Every day is a battle to me, and part of me feels like giving up as I cant give my parnter the one thing he wants, I thought I wanted it too, but now I do not know how I feel about any of it! has anyone else felt this way, I do want to have a baby but at the same time am petrified about it all! im sick of living in fear, it stops me living my life a lot of the time! help! I do not know what to do! I feel like this controls me a lot of the time and worry that people will get 'fed up' of me being like this!

diane07
01-03-10, 16:03
Hi EleC

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

pinkpiglet
01-03-10, 19:31
Hi there and a BIG FAT :welcome: to NMP!

Firstly, many pregnancies miscarry in the early weeks so dont blame yourself and the panic for this.
Secondly, i fully understand how you are reluctant to get pregnant as I am in a similiar situation myself.
Although I had anxiety in the past and suffered panic attacks in my twenties I went on to have a fantastic pregnancy where i had never felt better, i was living off my pregnancy hormones and it was the best feeling in the world. I had my baby and things were fantastic, i was on top of the world and think i would still be there today if my beloved Nan had not passed away fourteen month later. I had a bad case of grief anxiety for 5 or 6 mths following her death and felt alot of guilt. It as been a long road to recovery and I often have set-backs, if it wasnt for my son then I dont know how I would be, he keeps me going throught the bad times and brings me so much joy.
My partner and I are trying for baby No2 at the minute but it as taken alot of soul searching for me to take this big step forward. I am worried that it may not be so good the second time round but then I think of how good i felt during my first pregnancy and how amazing my little boy is and how much happiness he has brought to so many peoples lifes, he as enriched mine so much.
I think with the right frame of mind and the support of your other half then you can do this together. Speak to your doctor and I am sure he/she will be just as encouraging. There are services and facilities out there to help people in your situation and they are there to be used!!!

Please feel free to private message me for any support or personal advice I would love to be able to share this journey with you and of course to offer you encouragement and support.

Good luck, with whatever you decide x
:flowers:

EleC
01-03-10, 22:14
Thankyou for replying! :) It means a lot!
I lost my grandad 4 years ago and that was the trigger for my servere panic and depression to set in, I had a terrible childhood, and my grandad was my one and only protector, I can honestly say that after that happened, I have never felt so alone in my life, so I understand completly how greif panic can set in, and take hold of you. so lots of love to you!
Thankyou, I know a lot of it is the mindset, but sometime battling with my mind seems too much to take on and I should feel lucky for the people around me, my partner has seen me at my absolute worst and is still around! so that is something to be thankfull of! even though it is hard to think like that when youare in the midst of it all. I feel like I should just get over it, get pregnant and be happy, but then the negative sets in, will I cope, will I get postnatal depression etc etc...on and on..and sometimes I wish I could just switch my head off.
Luckily my Doctor is very good, the amount of times I have just turned up in a panic and he always see's me and manages to talk me down and even phones me at home a bit later to see if I am ok, but part of me thinks I dont deserve all this and that there is someone out there who needs a doctor more than me.
Good luck with your trying for number 2, if you feel anything like me, scary is not the word!
would love to keep in touch and share with you!
xxxx

pinkpiglet
01-03-10, 23:37
I think 'scared shitless' is the way I described it last week much to the amusement of my friends. The only thing is...its not amusing is it??
Its a very serious matter and not a decision that should be taken lightly (just a shame alot of other people dont think like us!)

oh and just for the record...my main worry all my adult life was that I would develop post natal depression as my mum had one of the worse cases but I didnt, not even a an ounce of it. I really surprised myself as I had read up and prepared myself for it so I think you should stop wasting your time worrying about something that is unlikely to happen. You deserve to be a mum if its something you long for so dont sacrifice this for the sake of anxiety. xx

EleC
02-03-10, 15:49
Scared shitless is understandable and it is not funny when friends find it funny, infact that can make you feel worse about it, I have 'binned' a few friends over the way I feel and the way they reacted, as they did not help me or make me feel better about anything. You dont need that at all, as it makes you feel worse.
Thankyou, fear / panic is a real life stopper, and you are right, I should stop worrying about what might happen, I dont think it helped the Doctor telling me that I would probably end up getting postnatal depression due to my 'history' nice eh? thanks for adding that to my list of things to panic about!
How do you feel today about it all? Is your husband supportive to you with regards to the way you feel about everything? and trying for number 2? xx