EleC
01-03-10, 15:59
hi there,
Im new to this site, although I have visited a number of times.
My issues are as follows, I started to have panic attacts about 4 years ago when my life was really wrong, went to the doctor who prescribed me Paroxetene, which helped me a lot, had councelling etc..the problme is, I think my body has learned to panic at almost anything, whenever I get stressed about anything, I go into shutdowm mode, stop eating, sleeping which in turn makes me feel worse, and I end up in a vicious circle, the recent event which I would like to know if anyone else has gone through is, I am being investigated for kidney problems and had to have a CT scan, as a precaution I had to take a pregnancy test, and it was positive, which although we have been trying for 1 year, was a complete shock, and I instantly started to panic, everyone arround me was thrilled to bits, but all I could feel was absolute fear and dread and ' why am I not happy about this?' do I really want this, so I then had to stop taking paroxetene and from that moment on, I spiralled out of control, wanted to end it all, stopped eating and sleeping and just continually got worse untill I ended up seeing an oncall physc who just kept going on about 'the baby' and the effect this all had on that. I felt like screaming 'what about me!!' I was then put on prozac as this is safer in pregnancy, but then I started to bleed, which was awful, but a part of me was pleased that I was bleeding, which is a terrible thing to think, I could not believe the way I was and am still feeling to be honest, and surprise surprise, I ended up miscarrying at 6 weeks, which I was very upset about, but have been in a state of panic ever since, and now have this major fear of getting pregnant again, will not let my partner near me as I worry that those awful feelings will come back again with a vengance. Every day is a battle to me, and part of me feels like giving up as I cant give my parnter the one thing he wants, I thought I wanted it too, but now I do not know how I feel about any of it! has anyone else felt this way, I do want to have a baby but at the same time am petrified about it all! im sick of living in fear, it stops me living my life a lot of the time! help! I do not know what to do! I feel like this controls me a lot of the time and worry that people will get 'fed up' of me being like this!
Im new to this site, although I have visited a number of times.
My issues are as follows, I started to have panic attacts about 4 years ago when my life was really wrong, went to the doctor who prescribed me Paroxetene, which helped me a lot, had councelling etc..the problme is, I think my body has learned to panic at almost anything, whenever I get stressed about anything, I go into shutdowm mode, stop eating, sleeping which in turn makes me feel worse, and I end up in a vicious circle, the recent event which I would like to know if anyone else has gone through is, I am being investigated for kidney problems and had to have a CT scan, as a precaution I had to take a pregnancy test, and it was positive, which although we have been trying for 1 year, was a complete shock, and I instantly started to panic, everyone arround me was thrilled to bits, but all I could feel was absolute fear and dread and ' why am I not happy about this?' do I really want this, so I then had to stop taking paroxetene and from that moment on, I spiralled out of control, wanted to end it all, stopped eating and sleeping and just continually got worse untill I ended up seeing an oncall physc who just kept going on about 'the baby' and the effect this all had on that. I felt like screaming 'what about me!!' I was then put on prozac as this is safer in pregnancy, but then I started to bleed, which was awful, but a part of me was pleased that I was bleeding, which is a terrible thing to think, I could not believe the way I was and am still feeling to be honest, and surprise surprise, I ended up miscarrying at 6 weeks, which I was very upset about, but have been in a state of panic ever since, and now have this major fear of getting pregnant again, will not let my partner near me as I worry that those awful feelings will come back again with a vengance. Every day is a battle to me, and part of me feels like giving up as I cant give my parnter the one thing he wants, I thought I wanted it too, but now I do not know how I feel about any of it! has anyone else felt this way, I do want to have a baby but at the same time am petrified about it all! im sick of living in fear, it stops me living my life a lot of the time! help! I do not know what to do! I feel like this controls me a lot of the time and worry that people will get 'fed up' of me being like this!